I need your help. I got very drunk on Rice Wine on a recent business trip to China early last August (8th). My "friends" ended up sending me to my room later that night with a gal from the karaoke club (a prostitute since she wanted money later). Anyway, we had unprotected sex. Oral (I gave - stupidly) and Vaginal.
I immediately got tested for STDs when I got back. Worst waiting period of my life (until now). Tests came back negative but they couldn't test for HIV. They told me to wait 3 months. Well, November rolled around and around the 10th of November (3 months from the terrible incident), I started to lose energy. I got a cold. I had some night sweats. I had some headaches. I've been "under the weather" for about 10 days now. My neck glands have been a bit swollen for the last 2 days. I feel like my groin lymph nodes may be starting to get a bit sore. I'm pretty paniced. I have a wife and 3 young kids.
I won't get my results for HIV until the middle of next week. I'm hoping someone can give me a % on whether I have HIV based on what I have told you?
Others responded (below) with generally accurate perspectives.
The risk of HIV from a single episode of vaginal sex is very low, even if your partner was HIV-positive. You were given wrong advice about the time to wait for HIV testing; modern HIV tests usually are positive by 4 weeks and almost always by 6 weeks (despite official advice to wait 12 weeks for a definitive result). Whatever is causing your reduced energy almost certainly isn't HIV; if you were going to get symptoms due to HIV, they would have appeared and then disappeared within 2-6 weeks. My guess for the odds that you have HIV is something like 1 in a million.
By the way, I did tell me wife immediately about the incident and we had no sexual contact until after the first test reports came back negative. At the time, my care providers assured me that since the other STDs were negative, my chance of having HIV was very slim. Thus, we resumed contact - mutual decision. We broke it off again in early November when I started to feel tired and have night sweats. Still, I worry that if I have HIV, I may have infected my wife. I'm scared sick right now. I just hope I don't have HIV. I can't eat or sleep well and get into a panic state of mind when I think about it. I appreciate everyone's advice very much.
One other item - I have no physical symptoms such as warts or blisters or cold sores or thrush or anything like that.
There's no way to give you an exact percentage, but your chances are very slim. It is hard for a male to get HIV from a female partner (though it does happen a lot, just not as much as gay male transmissions.) The fact that you had sex only once works in your favor. Usually men who get HIV from women have repeated instances of unprotected sex. The chances are that you probably don't have HIV, but the negative blood test is the only real assurance you can get.
I'm sure everyone on this website will be rooting for you, including me, and I hope it all works out okay. The few days waiting must feel like an eternity, but you should try to find something to occupy your mind in helpful ways. And get off the internet. Websites like this one give you useful info, and then after a certain point, they freak you out. At a stressful time you need to be distracted with more fruitful pursuits.
Well, you did not get it from the oral and it was slim to none with the vaginal...even if she was HIV infected. Like the person above said it is hard for a woman to transmit HIV to a man during normal vaginal sex. And it was only one incident which lowers your risk even more. Also, she probably wasn't infected anyway. I wouldn't lose any sleep over it...take care.
I agree with everyone else that your odds of getting HIV from this single exposure is very low. Dr. HHH has indicated that the risk of contracting HIV from a single contact is about 1 in 1,000, assuming that the woman was infected. If she wasn't infected, your risk is zero.
I'm glad to see that you are taking proactive steps to deal with this situation, i.e., getting tested and talking to your wife about this. Hang in there, you should be fine.
Thanks, everyone, for your comments. I really appreciate them. I do feel better. I've been hoping my odds were slim but I have been quite afraid of the alternative - and still am. I thought maybe I was believing my odds were low because I wanted to. Anyway, I've learned a lot about HIV and STDs from this experience. I can now really sympathize with people who have them - as I may be one of them. More needs to be done to solve HIV, to be sure. What a scary thing.
Sites like this are a wonderful thing and those of you who have taken the time to respond are wonderful people. I'll be sure to post my outcome in a few days as I know it.
hey guys i am a 19 yr old straight male from new york city. six weeks ago i was under the influence of alcohol, and being a immature teen that i am i ended up with a sex worker. I recieved protected oral sex and ended up having anal sex. now while i do remember the condom being on during the anal sex, when i pulled away it was not on me, but inside her. Now i have read of two symptoms i recently felt, which were swollen lymph nodes arround my groin area and an anal sore. i have a girlfriend i love and a family, as well as dreams in life, but this has me worried sick. this has been my only encounter other then with my girlfriend and the encounter with this sex worker lasted less then two minutes since i pulled away when i noticed the condom was not on.I am asking anybody, WHAT IS THE PERCENTAGE%..i want to get through the holiday season and get tested in january, but till then someone please help me, it will be of great thanks and god bless all the wonderful stories i have read on this site.
Relax....your chances of winning the lottery are better than getting HIV from the incident you describe. The receiver is always at more risk. And it is difficult for a female to transmit HIV to a male even without a condom. If you want to play it safe and for reassurance, go to the local health department STD clinic and get a full STD work-up to include HSV-1 (oral herpes) and HSV-2 (genital herpes) testing. Make sure it is the HerpeSelect antibody test. To do a full work-up they will need to draw blood and also get a urine sample...so be sure not to go to the bathroom before you go there. And don't be shy or afraid...it's no big deal...it is routine work for them......good luck.
In my craziest stupied moment intoxicated I did unprotected oral sex on a sex worker while she did likewise to me. We then had protected sex thereafter but very near towards the orgasm I took the rubber off and went in her for about 5 mins before I had orgasm in her. straight thereafter I realsied what a dumb *** I was after the alcohol died out and hosed every part of myself down. I am circumcised in my early teens as well but am still freeaking out.
I went for a rapid test on 56 days (exact 8 weeks) after the incident as I could not take the anxiety any longer and thank god it came out negative. I was councelled by the test administrator before and after the test and have been told that I am in in low-med risk group because
1) where I am from the sex workers are tested every 2 weeks.
2) that was my only exposure as I did not do anything this stupid after my last test last year.
3) I have no symptom whatsoever at all, no fever, no rash, no headaches and as mentioned in this forum that symptoms are not a definite sign of HIV infection anyways
But I am still worried sick cause
1) he advised me that the test is not conclusive according to the manufacturer as it requires 3 months to be conclusive
2) the guilt I have done that may hurt my family
3) Am not certain how accurate or the percentage of me not getting HIV based on the test at this 8 weeks rather than recommended 3 months
4) Worried about going back for the conclusive test in a month
Please someone advise me every min is driving me crazy with anxiety
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