I am considering seeing an escort, in an area where it is legal. I am wondering what type of medical risk this would have. I don't think it makes much difference, but it would be a professional escort, not a street walker.
I am with someone whom I care very much about. Parts of her childhood prevent us from being very intimate. Even so, I love her so much, that without a doubt I want to stay with her. I see myself as a struggling and frustrated sex addict who has only been with one partner. We have talked about my desires, and it hasn't made a big difference. I'm torn emotionally, but I can't shake wanting to experience what I'm missing. We have only had sexual contact of ANY kind with each other, so I know neither of us have any STDs, including HPV.
I haven't been able to find answers as clear as I would have liked. I'm wondering what risks I would have with: protected intercourse with an escort, and receiving unprotected oral sex from an escort. I assume receiving protected oral sex wouldn't have any risk.
In additional to general STDs, I'm quite worried about HPV and its certain strains cancer risks. From what I've read, it seems like almost everyone has HPV, although I don't think either of us have it since we have ONLY been with each other. I imagine that any escort would certainly carry HPV, even if without symptoms. Some sites say protected intercourse would still transmit HPV since there is skin-to-skin contact, even though there isn't genital-to-genital contact. I've read conflicting information on whether receiving unprotected oral sex would transmit HPV.
I couldn't live with myself putting her at risk for STDs/HPV, or effectively giving her cancer. If any of my risks are considered "near-zero", I'm wondering whether it's the type of near-zero risk where it's been known to happen but chances are near zero -- or the type of near-zero risk where it hasn't been documented but can't be ruled out.
Interesting questions, tough to come up with answers which will provide the precision that I sense you want. As you know, if the chances are 1 in 1000 and you are the one, then the odds don't matter much, do they. Furthermore, given the sensitivity of the topic, I suspect it won't surprise you too much that the answers lack precision. With that in mind:
1. Risk of STD from escorts. What sort of escort does matter. Commercial sex workers who work the streets are higher risk and, as a group have more STDs, more HIV and more other problems.
2. In areas where prostitution is legal, there are often laws which require periodic testing. This results in VERY low rates of treatable STDs (gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, etc). On the other hand, as you point out, viral STDs like HPV are virtually omnipresent.
3. Certain sex acts have lower risks. Lowest is masturbation, then oral sex, then genital sex. As for rectal sex, this is somewhere in the realm of genital-genital sex but on the higher side.
4. Condoms protect but not perfectly. the reason they don't protect perfectly is that they sometimes break (rarely), they are sometimes used improperly, and beyond that, they may not provide perfect protection.
45. Of all STDs, the one you are most likely to acquire, symptomatic or not, HPV is it.
Beyond these statements, you have to weigh the risk and figure out what you want to do. Hope this is helpful. EWH
Edward, thanks for your reply. I've been swamped the past few days so haven't been able to write back until now. I can understand there aren't exact statistics available, but I am hoping you can give me a bit more information, even if it isn't exact.
What diseases would I risk having protected intercourse with a commercial escort? Would I be virtually guaranteed to get HPV because of skin-to-skin (non genital) contact? Or, would it be very unlikely?
What diseases would I risk receiving unprotected oral sex from a commercial escort? As for HPV, is my reading correct, that if she didn't have open sores, that it would be very unlikely to get HPV from this?
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