Feeling Pathetic

[iamsorry]

I feel pathetic about what I have done in past , I can only hope , wish and pray that may god forgive me.

I am 29 year old male and all this started about 8-9 years back ...

I had unprotected sex with a lot of sex workers (Females) , received oral sex , intercourse and what not . I don't understand what was I thinking while doing all this . I got a HIV test done at that time that is 4 years back  on myself and it was NEGATIVE . After the test I continued with my pathetic practices but this time it was with protection every single time.

Suddenly I lost all the interest in Female Sex Workers and started hanging out with transexuals , I received oral sex from different transexuals at least 50 times(No Anal Sex , Rimming Only RECEIVED oral sex) , always without any protection.

Finally better sense prevailed and I stopped all this around 4 years back , My last encounter with a transexual was 4 years back when I received oral sex from her. In last 4 years I never slept peacefully , cried every night for all the things I did.

1 Month back I felt burning while urinating , I dismissed it as dehydration and started drinking loads of water . But it continued and on 2nd day I had high fever around 102 and went to a doctor. He gave me some antibiotics and told me that I am suffering from UTI . He also suggested me to get Uralysis and Culture test done . Before going for the test I had 3 doses of prescribed antibiotic(Forcef 100 mg) . In my uralysis pus cells were 20-25hpf which confirmed the UTI and Culture came back negative .

After searching on internet I found out that Negative culture suggests Chamlydia , Gonorrea . I am scared to death now . My question is

Is it possible that I have Chamlydia , Gonorrea from last 4 years and I am having symptoms now?
What are the chances of me having HIV?
What other STD's can I have?

Also during routine visit to Gynae My wife was told that she is suffering from high risk type HPV . I am sure I gave it to her . I feel like killing myself for ruining her life.

Please help and answer my questions.

Regards

[gracefromHHP]

all hiv related questions need to be asked in the hiv forum. honestly I don't know enough about the hiv tests to even comment on them.

they need to retreat you again for urine infections too.

[iamsorry]

Hi ,

Yesterday was one of toughest day of my life . As suggested by you and for my sake I went to STD testing!!
My results for HIV are

Test Name                                                             Result
Antibodies/Antigen for HIV- I & II                               0.11

Interpretation

Value                                                                    Result
>/=1.00                                                                 Reactive
0.90-<1.00                                                             Indeterminate
<0.90                                                                    Non Reactive

This is Microparticle immunoassay (MEIA) for simultaneous qualitative detection of antibodies to HIV[I & II) as well as HI P24 antigen in serum or plasma.

I guess I am in NON REACTIVE range that means HIV negative?

Also My last unsafe/unprotected exposure was 4 years back!! I read it on the net that P24 Antigen test is good if the exposure is recent as with time Virus gets settled and body stops making P24 antigen so if the exposure is old ELISA is better test .
Is it a very advanced test as in the report they stated that they are detecting antibodies to HIV as well as HIV P24 antigen?

I also got tested for

Hbs Ag ( Hepatitis B Surface Antigen)                    NON REACTIVE
VDRL ( Syphilis)                                                   NON REACTIVE

I didnt go for HERPES test as I never had any cold sores or any sores / blisters / wounds in my mouth or genital area.

Should I go for anyother test ? I did all of them mentioned by you except HERPES

I also got the Uretheral Smear for Gram Stain done it says
"Many pus cells seen . Few gram positive cocci seen" they didnt mention whether I am positive for Chamyldia and Gonorrehea or not .
Can you suggest me what should i do ?

[gracefromHHP]

if you still have symptoms, return for further testing to see what else is going on.

[iamsorry]

Can the STD's from your list stay dormant for 4 years apart from HIV?

Are you able to suspect any STD based on my current symptoms? Which are burning while urinating , fever . After I took the antibiotic (Forcef 100mg)  for 5 days , Doc got the Uralysis done again and PUS cells this time were 2-3HPF. But I still have symptoms.

I havent been in any kind of sexual contact with anybody except my wife from last 4 years . I can't understand from where this UTI came from.

Thanks Again

[gracefromHHP]

uti's can happen. oral sex can cause them as well as bacteria being introduced into the urethra from sex and even masturbation.

yes, those are the std's to test for.

is it worrisome to go for full std testing? well of course it is!!!  Just do it, get your answers so you can deal with anything that comes back as + and go from there :)  beats sitting at home worrying about "what if" every single time!

your english is just fine :)  

[iamsorry]

Thanks for the reply I was refreshing the page every 5 mintues ...

You said that an STD showing symptoms after 4 years is very unlikely , does it stand corrected for all of them I mean chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphillis, herpes, hiv and hepatitis ?

What is the possibility of me infected with HIV keeping my sinful behaviour in mind?

Can you think of any reason for the UTI , and for high pus cells (WBC's I guess)  in uralysis ?

I really want to get tested for HIV atleast but thinking about what will happen if it turns out to be positive scares the daylight out of me. And Yes once I am out of all this I will seek professional help .

Thank you once again for taking time out and replying to my post . You guys are doing an awesome job by helping people like us. May god bless you . Excuse my poor English as it is not my Mother tounge.

Regards