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STDs (Expert Forum)
Girlfriend had sex partners when we were't dating
Answered by
Edward W Hook, MD - HIV Prevention, stds
Welcome to the STD Forum, which is intended only for questions and support pertaining to sexually transmitted diseases other than HIV/AIDS, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, human papillomavirus, genital warts, trichomonas, other vaginal infections, nongonoccal urethritis (NGU), cervicitis, molluscum contagiosum, chancroid, and pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). All questions will be answered by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D. or Edward W Hook, MD.
Girlfriend had sex partners when we were't dating
by iDaleo, Oct 21, 2009 02:55PM
Dear doc,
This last week/weekend, my ex-girlfriend who I haven't seen in a few months called me and we hung out. We are both juniors in college and what was originally just a friendly reunion turned into a very intimate night. We had unprotected sex for 3 nights in a row. I asked her prior to having sex if she had been with anyone and she told me no. I felt fine until I actually found out she lied to me. She indeed had sex with one other guy when we weren't dating and never told me about it. Needless to say, she felt horrible about not telling me and apologized a million times and assured me she didn't have anything. I had a hard time believing her after she lied.
She told me that she had the STD talk with the guy she was with. She insisted that he was clean and that they used condoms on the 2 occasions they had sex. She also told me that this guy just got out of a long serious relationship also and that she wasn't even going to get tested because there was no risk. He is also a college student here. I am going through alot of anxiety right now. I keep fearing that I could have caught HIV. I want to get tested but I feel like I cant wait one month. I talked on the phone with someone at Quest Diagnostics and they said they could do an RNA test 3-5 days after exposure and that it would give me a very good idea if I was infected or not.
What do you think?
This last week/weekend, my ex-girlfriend who I haven't seen in a few months called me and we hung out. We are both juniors in college and what was originally just a friendly reunion turned into a very intimate night. We had unprotected sex for 3 nights in a row. I asked her prior to having sex if she had been with anyone and she told me no. I felt fine until I actually found out she lied to me. She indeed had sex with one other guy when we weren't dating and never told me about it. Needless to say, she felt horrible about not telling me and apologized a million times and assured me she didn't have anything. I had a hard time believing her after she lied.
She told me that she had the STD talk with the guy she was with. She insisted that he was clean and that they used condoms on the 2 occasions they had sex. She also told me that this guy just got out of a long serious relationship also and that she wasn't even going to get tested because there was no risk. He is also a college student here. I am going through alot of anxiety right now. I keep fearing that I could have caught HIV. I want to get tested but I feel like I cant wait one month. I talked on the phone with someone at Quest Diagnostics and they said they could do an RNA test 3-5 days after exposure and that it would give me a very good idea if I was infected or not.
What do you think?
Doctor's Answer
by Edward W Hook, MD, Oct 21, 2009 04:51PM
, Oct 21, 2009 04:51PM
Welcome to the Forum. Your GF is low risk and I suspect you are being both a bit unforgiving and overly judgmental. The chance that she has HIV is less than 1 in 10,000 if you are in the U.S. and your risk for HIV if she had it is only 1 infection per 1,000 exposures.
Please don't waste your time on a HIV RNA test. They are expensive and in your case your result is far more likely to be a false positive result than to find out that you have HIV. If you are really concerned and can convince her to do so, the most direct way to address your concerns is for both of you to go to your local STD Clinic and get tested for all STDs, including HIV. If she is negative, you could not have gotten HIV from her.
Hope these comments help. EWH
Please don't waste your time on a HIV RNA test. They are expensive and in your case your result is far more likely to be a false positive result than to find out that you have HIV. If you are really concerned and can convince her to do so, the most direct way to address your concerns is for both of you to go to your local STD Clinic and get tested for all STDs, including HIV. If she is negative, you could not have gotten HIV from her.
Hope these comments help. EWH
Post Comment
I just got off the phone with my ex-girlfriend. She pretty much flipped out on me for accusing her of giving me an std and accusing her of not caring about her own health. She assures me she couldn't have caught anything from this guy and that I was fine. I think I am more upset about not being able to be with her anymore since we had such a long relationship. Right now I don't know if I should start taking anxiety medicine or go get tested. I don't know what will make me feel better.
The other night, which was about 5-7 days after our episodes of unprotected sex. the tip of my penis started to have a mild burning sensation. I find it kind of strange since this burning sensation started right when I found out she didn't tell me the truth. Anyway I went to the doctor and she told me after doing a swab that I didn't have a bacterial infection. She also did a urine test which I have yet to get any results back. It doesn't hurt when I go to the bathroom, it's just this weird sensation at the tip that seems to come and go and usually is worse when I think about it. My ex has had urinary tract and yeast infections before, and has told me that her vagina hurt sometimes when we have had sex. Could I have got an infection of some sort? The doc gave me antibiotics just in case so am I ok? I am just really confused and scared about whats going on with my body. I am really hoping it's just my anxiety. Thanks