STDs Expert Forum
Girlfriend reveals she has HPV
About This Forum:

The STD Forum is intended only for questions and support pertaining to sexually transmitted diseases other than HIV/AIDS, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, human papillomavirus, genital warts, trichomonas, other vaginal infections, nongonoccal urethritis (NGU), cervicitis, molluscum contagiosum, chancroid, and pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). All questions will be answered by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D. or Edward W Hook, MD.

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
This expert forum is not accepting new questions. Please post your question in one of our medical support communities.
Blank Blank

Girlfriend reveals she has HPV

Dear Doctor,

Little about me: 22 year old Male, average shape, good immune system.

Have been with a girl since New Years Eve. Had protected sex with her that night. I also have performed oral sex on her and fingered her prior. I did not wash my hands and touched my penis, put a condom on, etc.

I had sex with her a week later...this Sunday. When we ran out of condoms and I asked her if she was on birth control, she said yes. However she denied having unprotected sex since she has HPV.

I was shocked. Here is what I know. She is saying she is borderline cervical cancer. That she has surgeries performed often. She has stated that her strain does not cause genital warts. She did not tell me what strain she had.

She won't talk to me again and cut off all contact since I was really upset and angry at her for NOT TELLING ME PRIOR to our relationship.

What do I do now? What do I go get tested for? Will I be able to pass on this infection (if I have it) in the future? How will it affect me? Since we had sex New Years Eve night...right side of my scrotum has really been bothering me. It has been itching and being extra sensitive. Also I could say my right lymph node in the groin area has been bothering a little. Have I been exposed to her virus?

I have seen my family doctor because a Urologist is not open until the 23rd, but he told me that since I am a male, I am fine. He checked out my scrotum and said there is nothing there...but it is bothering me.

HELP!
Tags: Warts
Related Discussions
239123_tn?1267651214
I agree partly with ryn21, who responded (below) before I saw this.  I'm not sure I would call your response immature, but you clearly are more upset than necessary or appropriate.  It would have been smart and kind for her to tell you about her HPV infection, but not ethically required.  Some people disagree, but most experts' view is the same as mine.  As a corollary, you have no obligation to mention your exposure to HPV for future sexual relationships with other persons.

Assuming you have had more than 3-4 lifetime sex partners, you can be pretty certain you already have been infected with HPV, very likely with the same HPV type that your partner has.  Almost everybody gets genital HPV at one time or another.  Since she probably does not have a wart-causing strain, if you do indeed have acquired this particular infection, the odds are strong that you will develop no symptoms, will never have an important health problem from it, and will not be a particular danger to other future partners.

According to CDC advice, with which I agree, you did not need to be examined.  As you found, there is nothing a health care provider will be able to do to either diagnose whether or not your are infected, or to treat you in any way.  (However, your doc's attention to your scrotum doesn't make much sense.  Most infections are on the penis, not the scrotum.)  Return for further evaluation if you develop visible warts, but that probably will not happen.  Otherwise don't worry about it.  (If you aren't satisfied with your own doc's expertise in this area, recommend a dermatologist rather than a urologist.)

Whatever else, it seems clear you and your partner need to have a heart-to-heart, sober, nonjudgmental discussion.  It is never appropriate to blame a sex partner for an HPV exposure.  HPV simply doesn't have serious health consequences, except in very rare cases.

Good luck--  HHH, MD
8 Comments
Blank
97676_tn?1340408973
I understand your concern for your sexual health.  However, you are being a bit immature about the whole situation.  For you to be mad at her for having HPV is a bit harsh and again, immature.  You need to understand that more than 80% of the population has or has had HPV at one point in their life.  Condoms dont even sufficiently protect against HPV.  From what I have read, one would not have HPV for life.  HPV goes away in most people in a short period of time.  

In addition, there is a chance that even you have had HPV at one point in your life.  You were just unaware of it due to the fact that there are usually no symptoms of it and no HPV testing available for men.  If I was you, I would apologize to the girl.  You were a bit out of line.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
I am not being immature. I think it is crucial for a carrier of the virus to let their partner know PRIOR to engaging in any sexual activity. I would have accepted the fact that she had it, educated myself on it and proceeded to continue the relationship.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
You can still educate yourself about the virus and apologize to her, but she should inturn apologize to you for not letting you know her history.  I've have HPV for 5 years now and told my b/f about it. He was very calm and accepting of it and we talked about it in detail. It really doesn't have any effect on our relationship at all. I've learned alot from this website about HPV and many other STD's which have been a real eye opener for me, so if you educate yourself about it, you may feel alot better.  Unfortunately for men there is no test except if a wart develops, but otherwise you would never know. Good luck to you.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
Thank you for the heads up.

I did apologize to her, but I still cannot accept the fact that I was not notified of her problem prior to our sexual relations.

I know it is common, I know for the most part is goes away. However she should have told me.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
How do you know you don't have HPV yourself?

Blank
Avatar_n_tn
quick question:

can you still trasmit HPV (genital warts that is) if you don't have any visible warts? or it is only when you have a visible wart that you can trasnmit this to another? i've heard that when there aren't any visible warts can you only transmit it to a partner (same applies to herpes).

a quick answer to this will be greatly appreciated.

THANKS.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
As far as I know from reading this forum and other informational sites, HPV can be passed at any time.  Warts need not be present to transmit the virus itself.  This does not mean a wart is being transmitted, only the virus.
Blank
Avatar_n_tn
A related discussion, HPV was started.
Blank
Continue discussion Blank
This Forum's Experts
239123_tn?1267651214
H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.Blank
University of Washington
Seattle, WA
300980_tn?1194933000
Edward W Hook, MDBlank
University of Alabama at Birmingham
,
MedHelp Health Answers
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
RSS Expert Activity
233488_tn?1310696703
Blank
New Cannabis Article from NORTH Mag...
Jul 20 by John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAOBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
3 Reasons Why You are Still Binge E...
Jul 14 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating: What Your Closet ...
Jul 09 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank