Welcome to the STD forum. I'll try to help. The bottom line is that you have no worries here about either the gonorrhea or HIV issue.
First, your tight throat is unrelated to any of this. You might have a garden variety virus, but gonorrhea of the throat almost always is entirely asymptomatic. The effectiveness of treatment is variable, and you don't say what antibiotic you received. But even without treatment, oral gonorrhea just about always goes away on its own in a few weeks.
Even if your treatment failed, it is not plausible that someone in your living area picked up ocular gonorrhea by sharing a cigarette, and anyway that would not cause the other cold symptoms he has. Even sexually acquired gonorrhea of the eye is extremely rare (I have seen exactly one case in my 30+ years in the STD business). You need not mention your gonorrhea or your sexual exposures to your friend.
The rough estimate of the risk of catching HIV by oral sex on an infected male has been calculated at 1 in 10,000. That's equivalent to giving a ** once a day to infected men for 27 years and maybe never catching it. I can't tell what you mean by "slight ulcer", but that probably doesn't make much difference.
You should make sure the doctor who treated you for gonorrhea knows your concerns about HIV, then follow his or her advice about testing. If testing will calm your nerves, go ahead and do it. A single test 6-12 weeks after the exposure is sufficient.
Regards-- HHH, MD