HIV - at risk?

I am a 36 year old male and was recently involved in an affair with a married woman (which I am not proud of). Over the course of 6 months we had unprotected sex (oral and vaginal intercourse) several times. At the termination of our relationship, she learned that her husband had been cheating on her as well which was a big surprise for some reason. Obviously I realize how naive I was to assume otherwise.

The last time we had intercourse was in the middle of Sept and she got herself tested for all std's at the end of Oct. Everything came back negative. I don't see that I really have any of the symptoms of HIV based on the online research I've done but I'm still nervous. A few weeks ago I developed a mild earache that lasted for a couple weeks. After a very minor rash developed in my ear, the Dr guessed that it could be shingles and put me on meds just in case. My research on shingles indicates that it's not that common for someone my age. It suggests that it is most common in elderly people or those with weak immune systems (it specifically cited people with HIV). But the Dr didn't seem concerned. Since going on the meds, the pain and rash in my ear have gone away. However, I now have a hoarse voice for about 2 weeks that I can't get rid of. It feels like I constantly have to clear my throat. Lastly, I have mild pain in my joints (mainly my elbows which could be from the computer since that's happened before).

My question is...are these early signs (shingles specifically) of HIV in any way?  ASSUMING this woman (who I've been friends with for years) truly got tested, which I believe she has, was that enough time to determine whether or not she was "clean"?  

I think I am going to get an HIV test, but I wanted to write because I've been consumed in my thoughts about it.  Also, is there some type of at home test I can order instead of going to a clinic?

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Your symptoms do not suggest HIV (shingles or not), and you describe a very low risk situation.  The risk would be higher if you said your partner's husband is bisexual or an injection drug user, but still low.  But anyway, you give no reason to doubt she is telling the truth when she says she was tested and negative.  Six weeks after the end of your relationship is plenty of time to be confident she didn't have HIV when you were together.

For information on self-collected home HIV testing, visit www.homeaccess.com.  But in the meantime, relax.  I don't think you need HIV testing at all, unless the negative result will help you sleep better.

HHH, MD

[mattby]

Thank you for the prompt response.  I think this service you provide and your knowledge level are phenomenal.  I'll sleep a little bit better tonight I think.