HIV Concerns

Hello Doctor,

First off, let me say thanks again for helping me gain perspective with my HPV post. I understand I'm only allowed two questions so here is my second one. It has to do with HIV.

My former girlfriend who I mentioned in my HPV post (now my fiancee), who I've been on-and-off with for years following our sexual relationship has only been with one guy (other than me). We met when I was 18 and she was 20, although come to think of it I believe our sexual relationship didn't begin until I was 19 (she may have been 21). Since our brief sexual relationship (oral) , we both decided to be celibate until marriage.  On to my question:

She and I, for a brief period of time, practiced mutual masturbation and oral sex. From what I've read on the forum, this is extremely low-to-no risk behavior for HIV transmission. However, I do know that she had engaged in similar sexual practices with someone else (just one person) before me. This person's HIV and partner status is unknown.

She hasn't been 100 % frank about her sexual past, and I'm under the impression she and this guy did not have sexual intercourse, but I am not certain. She never seemed to think this was a big deal and doesn't want to dig up 'ancient history'. I don't think she would take an HIV test; obviously I can't make her.

Would it be totally pointless for me to take an HIV test at this point to see if she has it, since we've only had oral sex?

If I knew for certain that she and this guy never had intercourse, can I put HIV fears out of my mind?

This was 5-6 years or so ago, and we've both had complete physicals (CBC with diff) and were told we have nothing to worry about. Is this relevant?

Since I'm about to get married I am very nervous about all this - my health, her health, my future family's health. Can I put HIV out of my mind, as I've done with HPV?

Side note - Am I able to donate blood, or do I need an HIV test first?

Thank you.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

You were at even lower risk of HIV than for HPV from the exposures decribed.  There is no realistic chance your partner had HIV.  In response to your specific question, the answer is no:  from a risk assessment standpoint, there is no need for HIV testing.  But if you remain worried, testing might be the best way to get beyond these fears.  In other words, if having a negative result would help you, you and/or your partner could be tested.

That's all I'll have to say.  Your question is in the wrong forum.  Click on "Important Announcement", then the disclaimer message, which includes "Questions are welcome about all STDs other than HIV..." and "For questions about HIV prevention...please visit the HIV Prevention and Safe Sex Forum".

Actually, missing that message probably isn't your fault.  The "Important Information" isn't very prominent and I doubt many users notice it.  The Disclaimer message used to be prominent at the top of the forum, but became "buried" with the recent redesign of the MedHelp forums.  I have asked the IT folks to change it -- maybe this message will help convince them!

In any case, don't worry about HIV.  There is no point in further discussion about it, so I won't have any further comments or advice.

Regards--  HHH, MD

[newoldanxiety]

Ok, well noted. I apologize for posting in the incorrect forum. I will talk to my fiancee about this and try to move on.