You might read this post:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/758844. Dr. Handsfield makes some excellent points (as usual) we'd all do well to remember :-)
You seem inordinately concerned about HPV and HIV, despite a low risk lifestyle with respect these or any other STD. This is your fourth question on this or the HIV Prevention forum in the past couple of years. It's fine to continue to come here for advice, as long as you adhere to the MedHelp policy about a maximum of 2 questions every 6 months on any moderated forum (see Terms and Conditions). But the answers to your questions here were covered in essence, if not in precise detail, by Dr. Hook in your question a few months ago.
It is rarely possible to know when and where someone catches HPV. Although your last line indeed indicates you are at relatively low risk for HPV, you simply cannot know that "prior to this instance I did not have HPV". Sometimes HPV even pops up in people who are truly mutually monogamous from the start, either because a few cases may not be sexually acquired or because of seeming safe encounters like mutual masturbation or despite condom use. To your questions:
1) She may or may not have had HPV at the time you had sex with her. There is simply no way to know or even to make an educated guess. Abnormal paps can develop as little as a month after catching HPV or many years later.
2) When women use condoms 100% of the time, they have a 70% lower chance of catching HPV than women who use condoms less than half the time -- reasonably good protection but by no means perfect. These figures suggest that the risk of HPV transmission is pretty low for each episode of condom-protected sex, but the data do not allow a numerical estimate of that risk. Also, the female to male transmission rate has not been studied, although most likely it isn't much different than male to female.
Gardasil, the HPV vaccine, is highly effective in preventing infection with the 2 HPV types that cause genital warts and the 2 types that cause 70% of cervical cancer in women. (There is little or no protection against the other 30+ HPV types that cause genital infection.) Although currently approved only for women, preliminary research indicates it is effective in men and FDA approval for males probably will come, perhaps in a year or two. You could get it now, but probably for $500, including the vaccine itself plus your doctor's office costs, probably not covered by health insurance.
Bottom line: Stop worrying so much about HPV. Catching it is a normal consequence of human sexuality and you can expect to have HPV someday, if you haven't already. When it happens, you'll probably never know it and neither will your sex parnter(s).
Regards-- HHH, MD