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HSV - Fear & Stimga
After browsing through the various posts here and on the Ask A Doctor STD forum, I am saddened by the number of people who are suffering from irrational anxiety with regards to herpes.
I have both HSV 1&2, - lip sores since my youth, and twenty years on, the genital variety. Both infections now seem dormant, and I have never taken pharmaceutical suppressive meds for either.
Receiving the gift of HSV-2 made me realise that there's really no difference between the two strains, - apart from in the way people perceive them.
I'm slightly appalled to read comments by doctors saying that oral hsv is not an STD. Surely, a patient who has contracted GHSV via oral sex would not agree ? Isn't kissing part of the sexual ritual ? With cold sores being so common and oral sex being so common, - what difference does it make ?
Of course, like all sufferers, I worry about transmitting the virus to partners, - but if I look on the bright side, - I no longer have to worry about becoming infected myself! If I get an outbreak, I much prefer the genital variety, which nobody can see, as opposed to the lip kind, which is akin to having " I have herpes ! " written all over my face !
My partner rejected me because of my genital condition, - he is unable to overcome his fear. He no longer finds me attractive, and believes I tried to "trap" him. Conveniently, he now only remembers me talking about my lip sores, - which is surprising, because I definitely spoke to him about both at the beginning of our year-long relationship.
Twenty years ago, without the support of sites such as this, and without recent research into transmission by shedding, my partner would only have had his doctor's word to go on.
Do public forums such as these actually increase the fear and stigma surrounding what is a common, and, in most cases, medically unimportant condition ?
I have both HSV 1&2, - lip sores since my youth, and twenty years on, the genital variety. Both infections now seem dormant, and I have never taken pharmaceutical suppressive meds for either.
Receiving the gift of HSV-2 made me realise that there's really no difference between the two strains, - apart from in the way people perceive them.
I'm slightly appalled to read comments by doctors saying that oral hsv is not an STD. Surely, a patient who has contracted GHSV via oral sex would not agree ? Isn't kissing part of the sexual ritual ? With cold sores being so common and oral sex being so common, - what difference does it make ?
Of course, like all sufferers, I worry about transmitting the virus to partners, - but if I look on the bright side, - I no longer have to worry about becoming infected myself! If I get an outbreak, I much prefer the genital variety, which nobody can see, as opposed to the lip kind, which is akin to having " I have herpes ! " written all over my face !
My partner rejected me because of my genital condition, - he is unable to overcome his fear. He no longer finds me attractive, and believes I tried to "trap" him. Conveniently, he now only remembers me talking about my lip sores, - which is surprising, because I definitely spoke to him about both at the beginning of our year-long relationship.
Twenty years ago, without the support of sites such as this, and without recent research into transmission by shedding, my partner would only have had his doctor's word to go on.
Do public forums such as these actually increase the fear and stigma surrounding what is a common, and, in most cases, medically unimportant condition ?
Unfortunately, seeing an outbreak on my husband face and genitals is a huge reminder that HE HAD SEX WITH A STRIPPER UNPROTECTED 2yrs ago..... So in my case herpes is a big deal. He is extremely sorry but I cant get past it... I am afraid that I will get it. He tested negative 3x's and recently had an outbreak on his face, lips and genitals (swollen and painful) and swears he has not been unfaithful since his affair. He recently went to be tested during his outbreak this week and we will see. I am afraid to kiss him or to have sex with him. I never thought this would be my story after being married 20yrs. These forums help to inform but to me they seem to minimize the seriousness of herpes. My husband in on meds and when he had his outbreak he was tired and felt awful. I dont wish this on anyone. I think people should be concerned.
I do have a question about herpes. What is the different between HSV1 and HSV2? Are they interchangalbe? How can you tell if you have herpes. What is the best way of treating them - medication or home remedies?
Thank you!!
Thank you!!
Yes I agree with Rosehoney that yours is a great post ! We're lucky that you're on a sabbatical and that we are able to benefit from your wisdom !
Thanks for responding. Best wishes.
Thanks for responding. Best wishes.
Thanks for responding !
With regards to HSV-1. I recently read some updated information about oral infections on the herpesonline website :
"Recent research indicates that HSV 1 is probably not more easily acquired than HSV 2. And now, the average age of acquisition of HSV 1 is in the teens, rather than childhood"
Also, I do not believe it is correct to say that people are easily infected via glass / toothbrush sharing ! The virus survives for a matter of seconds only outside the body. Your statements are, unfortunately, another example of the lack of awareness surrounding this virus.
Herpes is herpes. The only real difference is in the public's perception of site of infection. Cold sores are acceptable; - genital herpes is not.
: )
With regards to HSV-1. I recently read some updated information about oral infections on the herpesonline website :
"Recent research indicates that HSV 1 is probably not more easily acquired than HSV 2. And now, the average age of acquisition of HSV 1 is in the teens, rather than childhood"
Also, I do not believe it is correct to say that people are easily infected via glass / toothbrush sharing ! The virus survives for a matter of seconds only outside the body. Your statements are, unfortunately, another example of the lack of awareness surrounding this virus.
Herpes is herpes. The only real difference is in the public's perception of site of infection. Cold sores are acceptable; - genital herpes is not.
: )
Great post!!! I do think that a forum like this will at least get information out there. I try to dig through the posts because some of the answers are great. I've learned a few things. :)
Do public forums like these increase the stigma and fear?
Let's put it this way - I don't think they help very much to decrease it.
I think fora (??forums) like this are a good news-bad news situation. A cursory review of both sides, the doctor and the non-doctor side, of the STD forum gives you a good indication of how paranoid and fearful the general public can be with regard to herpes. However, I think medical websites in general tend to attract the hypochondriacal folks anyway, and as you can see, many of the postings on the non-doctor side of this STD forum are multiple posts by the same fearful and non-reality-based somatizers. They are simply spiraling down into their anxiety and can
Let's put it this way - I don't think they help very much to decrease it.
I think fora (??forums) like this are a good news-bad news situation. A cursory review of both sides, the doctor and the non-doctor side, of the STD forum gives you a good indication of how paranoid and fearful the general public can be with regard to herpes. However, I think medical websites in general tend to attract the hypochondriacal folks anyway, and as you can see, many of the postings on the non-doctor side of this STD forum are multiple posts by the same fearful and non-reality-based somatizers. They are simply spiraling down into their anxiety and can
ali-jay, you pose an excellant question. I would definitely have to say that site such as this has really helped my understanding of herpes. I now see how common it is. It's not a big deal as far as I can see. The thing with herpes is it's basically benign (although I hear it can be painful) and it doesn't cause cancer. However, if you have it, you should tell your partner, and if they reject then good riddance to them!! At least you were honest. I know of one lady that never told her partners for fear of rejection but this put them at risk. They should have use a condom but they didn't even know. The fact that you told your boyfriend and then he rejected you, makes him sounds like a jerk to me. Maybe he will meet up with a lady who doesn't tell him and he gets it because he is unaware. I would much rather be aware of my risks than not. And if I met someone who was wonderful and I clicked with and thought there was a future, if he had herpes, it wouldn't phase me one bit!!!
I do have to disagree with you on the oral herpes issue - HSV 1. This is usually transmitted to people as children by sharing the same glass, toothbrush, kissing mom & dad goodnight, and (hopefully) not through sexual relations. I do know that it can be spread to the genitals through oral sex if someone has an outbreak on their mouth. In this case , it would be sexually transmitted. I am not a big oral sex person and this is one of the reasons.
The unfair thing about STD's is that people have such a stigma against them. I know people that have gotten STD's from their SPOUSE!!!! They were faithful but their partner was not. Does this make them a "dirty" person??? Does this mean they slept around? No, of course not. And what about colds...can't you get those from your partner? Then, wouldn't that be considered an STD? I would like these things to be looked at as something that someone can catch and if caught, should be treated. Nothing more. And if more people would use condoms and have less partners, they would cut their chances down immensely.
BTW, I have high risk HPV and that has to be watched because it can put me at risk for cancer. That must certainly make herpes look benign!!!!!
I do have to disagree with you on the oral herpes issue - HSV 1. This is usually transmitted to people as children by sharing the same glass, toothbrush, kissing mom & dad goodnight, and (hopefully) not through sexual relations. I do know that it can be spread to the genitals through oral sex if someone has an outbreak on their mouth. In this case , it would be sexually transmitted. I am not a big oral sex person and this is one of the reasons.
The unfair thing about STD's is that people have such a stigma against them. I know people that have gotten STD's from their SPOUSE!!!! They were faithful but their partner was not. Does this make them a "dirty" person??? Does this mean they slept around? No, of course not. And what about colds...can't you get those from your partner? Then, wouldn't that be considered an STD? I would like these things to be looked at as something that someone can catch and if caught, should be treated. Nothing more. And if more people would use condoms and have less partners, they would cut their chances down immensely.
BTW, I have high risk HPV and that has to be watched because it can put me at risk for cancer. That must certainly make herpes look benign!!!!!
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You are reading content posted in the STDs / STIs Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
