I glanced at your thread in the herpes community forum. You had some accurate advice there. "Shock" is not warranted at such test results, certainly not for HSV-1; half the US population has it. And 20-25% of all people have HSV-2. In both cases, most people have no recollection of symptoms that would suggest either oral or genital herpes. So don't feel like the Lone Ranger; you're defniitely not alone.
You can pretty much disregard your partner's HSV-1 infection. It probably is oral, but if he isn't having symptomatic cold sores, the chance you will catch it is is low. And if you do catch a second genital infection with HSV-1 due to oral sex, it probably won't be a big deal. Genital HSV-1 infections typically don't recur often. If your partner ever has a cold sore, avoid kissing and cunnilingus at that time. (Unlike genital HSV-2, asymptomatic viral shedding is a lot less common for oral HSV-1.) Otherwise, forget it.
So the main issue is the risk of transmitting your HSV-2 to your partner. You can be sure your HSV-2 infection is genital, and further you can be sure there are times when the virus is present even if you have no symptoms. (That is called asymptomatic viral shedding.) However, if you pay attention, likely you will notice symptoms that previously you didn't recognize. Over 60% of people in your situation come to recognize mild outbreaks. It could be only a localized itch, but if you look, you would see blisters or open sores. Recurrent herpes is always localized to one side of the genital area or the other (or in the midline, but not both sides); and almost always reappear within an inch or so of the previous episodes.
What can you do to prevent transmission to your partner? Three strategies: 1) Pay attention to recognize mild outbreaks and avoid sex at those times. 2) Use condoms consistently. 3) Consider taking suppressive antiviral therapy, such as valacylcovir (Valtrex). Any one of these strategies is fairly effective by itself. If you use all three, most likely your partner never will catch it.
On the other hand, lots of couples in your situation just don't worry about it much. If your partner gets HSV-2, he might not even know it; if he gets an infection with symptoms, effective treatment is available; and as long as the two of you are in a commmitted relationship, presumably there isn't fear of transmitting to a new partner. (Of course this can get dicey, if either of you isn't confident about the permanency of your relationship.) A middle ground, if condoms aren't your favorite thing, is to rely on symptom recognition plus suppressive therapy. Using just those two strategies often is highly effective in preventing transmission.
It's good you and your partner are healthy, but that fact has no bearing on the "strength" of your immune system's response to HSV.
The whole business of preventing HSV transmission can get pretty complex, and many people need more direct advice than is practical in a forum like this. I recommend you find a herpes-knowledgeable health care provider. Or consider contacting the American Social Health Association's Herpes Resource Center for highly expert personal telephone advice. HRC also keeps lists of herpes-knowlegeable doctors and might be able to help you find someone in your area. Visit www.ashastd.org and follow the links. (Full disclosure: I am on ASHA's Board of Directors.)
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD