Help for my husband!

[helpquick911]

My husband and I have been together for 10 years now, faithfully, and tonight he shared something with me that he's been holding back all this time.  He says that when we first had sex 10 years ago he noticed the VERY NEXT DAY a couple of very small blisters on the shaft of his penis.  He noticed he was a little tender in his groin area.  He said they went away on their own in just a couple of days.  He said that it happend very infrequent but the last few months it has reoccurred a few times.  He says when the blisters show up it's always the next morning/day after intercourse with me.  They are not painful (but feels like what a normal blister of any kind would feel like). He says it clears up in a couple of days and that's it.  He feels fine and otherwise is very healthy.  He chose never to tell me about it and has believed all this time that I gave him something because he had never experienced anything like it before until he was with me!  I was stunned and sick to my stomach.  I have never had any symptoms of herpes or any other STD.  I get regular pap smears, we have had two children through natural childbirth - ages 8 and 3, and I am overrall very healthy.  I have never seen any kind of blister or lesion in my genital area EVER.  I searched the internet and did read about allergic reactions or irritations from ph levels in vaginal fluids, friction, etc.  There was actually a story from a guy in a forum with almost the exact same issue.  It just doesn't seem like he fits the bill for herpes when I read about the symptoms... If it is Herpes and he got it from me is it possible that I have it but have never had an outbreak of any kind?  One more thing *(sorry for such a long email) we also engage in oral sex almost every time so wouldn't we both have it orally as well - it's been 10 years!!!  THANK YOU so much for your help on this.  I am so stressed out and can't wait to read what you have to say.  

[helpquick911]

Hi Grace...Got our results back on the HSV tests.  I really need your input because it seems so strange!  I came back HSV-1 Positive and my hubby was HSV-2 Positive.  We had that Igg blood test.  It explains why I said I have never had any outbreak that I am aware of.  His blisters were in too late of a stage to be cultured or whatever.  So the dr. and I were very surprised about the results.  She is going to a conference on the 10th to listen to Terri Warren and she is going to take the results to her and see what she has to say.  Is it really possible that he has never passed it along to me all these years?  Also, I have never had a cold sore on my mouth.  It would make sense for me to be HSV2 or for him to have HSV1 genitally, you know?  But for us to have the opposite seems so wild to me - that after 10 years of being married and not using protection it would seem I would have contracted it!  What do you think?  Our results were something like > 5.00 for HSV 1 and 0.10 for HSV2 and he was > 5.00 for HSV 2 and 0.09 for HSV1.  I think I wrote that down correctly.  I have it on a piece of paper somewhere.  Can you shed any light?  Thank you so much!

[estrellab]

I don't know, although I have had similar experiences. I am hsv 2 pos and he is hsv 2 pos. All my vaginal skin tears, I am told are not hsv but yeast. Past cultures have been neg. I am still so confused by all of this. He has cold sores and I don't. I just can't figure it all out.

[helpquick911]

Thank you so much for your comments.  You are really kind.  I'll keep in touch.

[gracefromHHP]

If you want help with your test results when you get them - just ask for a copy of them and post the numeric results here in a post with my name in it ( or post them in this thread - it will bump it back up to the top again ). I don't always get here regularly though.  You could also post them for me either over on the ashastd.org herpes message board or on the herpes homepage in the support folder.  I go to both places daily no matter what.  

No reason to feel guilty or shame if it's herpes sweetie - it's an incredibly common virus!! It's not like either of you have been out sleeping around or anything.  These things happen.  It's not the worst thing in the world by no means - look at how it's been a part of your relationship for this long and it hasn't been a big deal. No reason to make it a huge deal just because now you know it's probably there.  

Hang in there - give yourself some time to deal with the IDEA of it all.  You aren't dirty sweetie - you are just unlucky that's all.

grace

[helpquick911]

Just wanted to let you know that we just got the blood tests done and we'll find out in 7-10 days.  Looks like it is herpes.  I'm devastated.  The dr. did say that there's more of a chance that he had it first because of how he broke out the very next morning after our first time.  I know at this point it doesn't matter who first but the idea that it's not 100% guarantee my fault for sure is starting to help with feelings of guilt and shame.  You know, the possibility of there being a serious problem of some sort has popped in and out of his head for the last 10 years.  I just found out last night.  I'm a wreck.  I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday (it's lunch again today) and I got ZERO sleep last night.  Thanks for listening and for giving me your input.  

[gracefromHHP]

This is not the doctor's forum. If you want Dr hook or Dr hansfield to answer you you have to pay to post on their forum.  I really don't think they'll tell you much different from what I told you though so before you pay for their advice - both you and your hubby need to get the herpes blood tests so you have more info.  

grace

[helpquick911]

Will I get a posting from a doctor at some point?  I have never used this kind of site before.  Thanks for your input.  

[gracefromHHP]

I'm going to be honest - this sounds like genital herpes.   Chances are good that neither of you have ever been tested for it. It's not detected during pap tests ( pap tests only look for abnormal cervical cells - they don't test for std's ).  It's not tested for routinely when pregnant.  Unless your husband mentioned it to his doctor and get tested he was never tested for it either.

At this point - both of you need to get a type specific herpes igg blood test for hsv1 and hsv2. Once you see who has what you can better decide where to go from here.  If you are both + for hsv2 you might never figure out who had it first but at least you'll know that it's not an issue for your relationship.  If you both test + for hsv1 then your hubby should follow up and the next time he has his genital symptoms he should see his doctor within 48 hours of their appearance for a lesion culture and typing to see if he has hsv1 genitally.  

And no you wouldn't have it orally too. When it comes to herpes - once you have it in one area - your body develops protective antibodies to keep you from contracting it on other body parts. Having hsv2 genitally and then getting it orally afterwards is extremely rare.  

grace

[happyharry]

First of all: Who cares? He loved you enough to stay with you even though he thought you gave him an STD. I'm voting for rubbed raw occassionally possibly compounded by acidity. Herpes doesn't heal that fast btw.

Only one way to tell...go get tested