Sound like you have a wise doctor. My only additional advice, aside from listening to your doctor and believing what he says, is to ask your one-time partner whether she has herpes. If she says no, that will provide substantial reassurance. (Among asymptomatic 21 year olds in the US, less than 10% are infected.)
The 5 week negative blood test result is moderrately reassuring; around 50% of newly infected people are positive by that time. But for 100% certainty, a blood test 12+ weeks after exposure is needed.
There are no data on the risk of transmission, if your partner had HSV. But it has to be very low: In couples in which one person has HV-2 and the other does not, who have unprotected vaginal sex an average of 2-3 times per week, transmission occurs in only 1 in 20 couples (5%) per year. So the risk for any particular sexual event obviously is very low.
All in all, at this point the evidence is overwhelming you weren't infected. As far as I am concerned, there is no reason you cannot resume sex with your wife.
Good luck-- HHH, MD
I know I made a huge mistake and my relationship with my wife is better because of it..( besides the anxiety)
I have 4 wks left till I hit the 12 wk mark. I don't know if I even need to go test unless symptoms really present themselves.
I also feel better about the odds.. that first I have to find someone with HSV 2 which then contract it then be1 out of the 50% that test positive after 5 weeks. then be one of the ones that does not have symptoms at 8 weeks after exposure.. Good odds I guess.. thanks again