Most persons who have recurrent genital herpes have the HSV-2 virus. The frequency of recurrences is much lower with genital herpes due to HSV-1. The best way to be sure is to get a blood test based on the herpes gG-protein Your partner might consider one as well, 8 to 9 out of 10 American with genital herpes do not know they have it. As for your questions:
1. Transmission can occur due to asymptomatic shedding of the virus even if you are not having an outbreak. Safer sex with condoms will greatly reduce the likelyhood of this happening. With respect to contact of your penis on her breast or stomach, it can occur but is rare. Intact skin is a good protection from herpes acquisiton.
2, Contact with semen does not change the risk of herpes transmission per se. Thus semen on her abdomen or breasts is low risk. Conact with the more susceptible skin of the vagina is higher risk.
3, Your genital herpes will not be transmitted to her by oral sex. The virus stays put. Thus it is contact with your genitals that will transmit your genital herpes to others. If you have cold sores and practice oral sex, that puts her at rish from getting genital herpes from contact of your mouth with her genitals.
Hope this helps. EWH