Herpes Sores and Pregnancy

[JohnnyV]

Hi,

I've posted many many times on this forum, under other people's comments but now I have a new question for myself.

I am 34 and recently found out my female partner is pregnant and I'm worried about several sores I had on my penis that may have been herpes.

On several spots on my shaft, I had small red bumps that turned white and then slowly disappeared. They were painless but felt uncomfortable when rubbed. Two of them formed scabs that fell off within two or three days; but I'm not sure if this is because I was squeezing the bumps to try to pop them.

I went to a PCP and he thought it looked like pimples. My female partner and I had been having a lot more sex just before these bumps appeared, approximately 3-4 times a day and the doctor said it may have been ingrown hairs caused by too much friction. He referred me to take an HSV2 test but I've read many times that those are inconclusive. Also, he said that because I have HSV-1 on my gums, it would have been impossible to tell from a blood test if I also have HSV-1 on my genitals (this would make sense since I had received a lot of oral-genital sex from high-risk individuals earlier in the year).

A lot of time passed between the potential exposure and the bumps on my shaft; it was approximately 15 weeks. I don't know if that means anything.

I'm not that worried about having herpes because I know it can be a manageable condition, but I'm extremely worried about my baby. I've read that babies can die if the mother has a herpes outbreak.  My two questions:

1) What can I do to prevent our herpes hurting the baby? I assume that with us having sex about 100 times a month there is no way she doesn't have herpes if I have it. She is about one month pregnant.

2) I know this is probably a dead end, but is there any medication to help me control my sex drive, something that does the opposite of Viagra? I think I have a hormonal problem or maybe I'm producing too much sperm, but I constantly feel the need to have sex and have an erection about a third of the time I'm awake. I'm worried because it sounds like our high rate of sex caused our contraception to fail and irritated my penis; I am also worried because if she reaches a point where she can't have sex anymore, I'm scared I might end up taking on other sex partners again.

Thanks so much for your time.
J

[JohnnyV]

Hi,

Thanks for referring me there. I just saw it and it looks like a great place with very nice intelligent people.

The only weird thing is that I can't seem to post anything; my keyboard won't register in the message field. Maybe I'll try from a different computer.

Thanks again,
J

[monkeyflower]

It's the Sex Matters board on WebMD. It's staffed with a really terrific sex therapist, and there are quite a few very wise and knowledgeable folks who post regularly. It's a sex-positive, affirming, openminded, non-judgemental community, and it's probably just what you're looking for. I've been posting there for about four years, and I have to say I credit the therapist and that board with completely changing my life :-)

[JohnnyV]

Thanks so much for your advice. I have actually started keeping a journal but it feels weird, I have to admit. I hope it helps. I will talk to my counselor about finding a sexuality expert next time I see him, probably in a month (my health insurance covers no mental health, which is dismissed as "behavioral issues.")

Out of curiosity, what is this discussion board you belong to, dealing with sexuality issues? Do they accept new members? I'm realizing I post so much on this forum because I am trying to talk about sexuality; but that's not always appropriate since this forum is for disease issues.

J

[monkeyflower]

Any of the SSRIs, although some are worse than others (I believe Prozac is the worst offender). Still, it really depends on the person. My husband takes Lexapro, which is generally less likely to have sexual side effects, and he's gone from an enormous sex drive to virtually none. Be careful what you wish for, though; there's a lot of pleasure in that initial drive to be sexual, and I have the feeling you'd just like better control, not to lose your sex drive altogether.

Are you seeing a sex therapist, or just a counselor? Even if you're addressing other issues besides your sexuality, a sex therapist is a regular therapist with additional training in sexuality, and would probably be a better choice in helping you work this out. And of course, it may just be an issue of giving it time. You're very insightful, compassionate, and you're always so supportive of others. Just make sure you treat yourself as gently, and give yourself some space. You'll figure it out :-)

[JohnnyV]

Thanks so much for your kind words! :) And I am excited, though nervous, about being a dad. I never thought I'd ever have kids!

By any chance, do you know what antidepressants worked for people on your other sex board? I'm curious.

I do have a counselor I've been seeing, but I haven't really been able to figure out the raw biology of the problem. We talk a lot and then I still feel the same insurmountable urges.

Thanks,
J

[monkeyflower]

First, I've been meaning to tell you I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts. You give excellent advice and are a real asset to this board :-)

You mentioned wanting to reduce your sex drive. This comes up surprisingly frequently on a sex board I participate in. The general consensus is that while there isn't anything specifically intended to reduce your sex drive, antidepressants (the SSRIs) sometimes work. Of course, going that route you also risk losing the ability to orgasm but NOT your sex drive (talk about frustrating), losing your sex drive completely, etc., so just be aware that it's far from a perfect answer.

I think Dr. Handsfield has the far better answer; seeing a sex therapist is definitely your best bet. I'm not a big fan of treating symptoms without exploring what might be the real cause. There's probably a very good reason why you feel you're using sex compulsively, and therapy's the best way to figure that out. If you don't journal already, that's another good place to start.

I wish you all the best with everything - and congratulations on the pregnancy :-)

[JohnnyV]

Thank you for your help.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

What dodgeman said.  Tell your doc you want the HerpeSelect test.  If s/he is uncertain what test(s) his/her usual lab does routinely, the lab can be telephoned.  Or have the specimens sent to LabCorps or Quest; these are nationally syndicated labs, well known to most docs' offices, and I believe both routinely now do HerpeSelect as their primary (or only?) HSV blood test.  Tell your doc to disregard asking for IgG in particular, and you certainly don't want an IgM test.  (HerpeSelect happens to be IgG, but that' not the main point.)

HHH, MD

[dodgeman]

the herpes select is the only way to go. I had it done at 6 weeks and it came back neg for hsv1 and 2. Definitely make your doc order that test and only that one.

[JohnnyV]

Thank you very much for your help. It is much appreciated.

About the type-specific test, what should I do if the doctor only authorizes the Ig-something test? You've said that one is not reliable, so I'm wondering what my options are. I took the HSV-2 test only, because the doc said the HSV-1 test can't tell him anything.

J

[HHH,MD]

One clarification.  When I said no worries if your partner is HSV-2-positive, I meant with respect to risk of new infection near term.  If she is positive, her obstetrician will need to be on the lookout for herpes lesions when she goes into labor and do a cesarean section is there is an outbreak.  Also, many Ob's these days routinely treat such women with acyclovir during the last month of pregnancy, to prevent and outbreak that would force a cesarean delivery.  Overall, the risk of neonatal herpes from recurrent HSV-2 infection is very low, but these precautions still would be necessary.

HHH, MD

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

You have been a productive participant in the STD forum, with many useful and insightful comments.  Thank you.

The best way to protect against neonatal herpes is to prevent new HSV infection of the mother toward the end of pregnancy.  That means your infected parts, if any, should not come in contact with her genital area.

To achieve that goal, the first and most important thing is to stop basing any decisions on clinical judgment (pimples vs herpes, gum problems that may or may not be due to HSV-1) and get type-specific blood tests for HSV-1 and HSV-2, for both you and your wife.  The results will tell you what you can safely due sexually as she approaches term.

If your partner is HSV-1 positive, you don