Herpes/bacterial transmission/question - chances?

[NegativeCreep]

So I was fooling around with this guy and we were going to have intercourse. I had fool with him before like that twice but it was relatively mild (hand to penis, hand to vulva, etc.).

He was on a, *ahem*, drug and was having a hard time getting it hard. His flaccid penis ran between my inner lips a few times (2 maybe?) and eventhough I insisted on a condom he said he needed to try to get it in cause that would make it hard. So I spent several times attempting to put a half-hard penis inside me and it just kinda hurt. At one point it was in but still not entirely hard when it was. At any rate, it never "happened".

The thing that also concerned me is this: somethign I saw on his penis.

It was a single red mark on the head of his uncircumsized penis - no blood no crust no nothing. It was the same texture of his skin - it was just as if the area was red or swollen. I had seen it in the same condition a few weeks before, and then again, when I had "encountered" his penis without intercourse. In addition I had felt the same innacuous seeming "bump" he had near the "rim" of the penis head which one would never notice if they hadn't felt it. I asked about it and he said he was tested 4 months ago cause you have to when you go in the army. He said the red mark and the other thing are part of a scar he got when he zipped up his pants real quick in excitment because they have to wear whitey-tighteys in the army and he got to put on boxers when they went out or something. He even demonstrated the consistantcy with the zipper getting his unfortunate penis and knew EXACTLY where the elusive "bump" was. I asked him repeatedly and he insisted that it's nothing and was not concerned at all. Even saying he'll turn on the light and show me several times.

1. He went into the army like 4 months ago and was tested (I believe him 'cause I know they have to do that). So if I saw the SAME EXACT "condition" a few weeks ago, woould that be consistant with how herpes outbreaks work?

2. Also, is what I described consistant with herpes at any point?

3. What are the chances of bacterial STDs being transmitted through partly flaccid brief intercourse, trying to shove a flaccid penis into my vagina, and an erect/partly erect and flaccid penis rubbing between my inner lips twice or so like briefly?

4. This happened Saturday night and now it is Wednesday. At what point is it most safe to say I didn't get genital herpes from him?

[NegativeCreep]

****, make that CIRCUMSIZED penis.

[auntiejessi]

First, they don't test for herpes in the military.  They test for most other things, but herpes is not on their list.

That said, herpes wouldn't hang around like that for that long.  Its possible its a scar, as he said, but obviously I don't know if that's true or not.

Its possible that a bacterial infection could be passed the way you describe, but its not as likely as if you had full on unprotected sex.

If you don't get any sores within a few weeks, you probably didn't get herpes.  If you are concerned, get tested now, and test again in a few months, and if you still talk to the guy, ask him to test.

He probably shouldn't be having sex when he is under the influence of whatever drug he was on, if he can't get or maintain an erection strong enough to wear a condom.

Aj

[NegativeCreep]

Thanks!

I have my yearly pap thingy February 3rd so fortunately if something comes up I'm going right in. But they don't test for herpes, plus I can't afford it. Just applied for Medicaid but here in Michigan it's real bad and the system is overwhelmed.

For the initial HSV2 outbreak, what is the usual or general time frame for something to show up? And is what I described consistant with a herpe at any stage - same texture as the skin (even has like lines) but reddish and a bit puffy (mind you he was stimulating himself and stuff), no flakes or crust or goop, and only one? Plus that bump that looked completely different?

And I still talk to him of course but he's on a weird schedule since he's on leave, has no car, and stays with people. Plus since I asked him time and time again if he has an STD, he'd probably not even go if I siggested he get tested because he's not worried about anything. It's just me.

[auntiejessi]

No, his symptoms don't sound like herpes.  The skin can really present in a lot of different ways, but if he's had it that long, its not herpes.  Herpes wouldn't hang around for longer than a couple of weeks.

Aj

[NegativeCreep]

'Kay. Does the fact that he felt no pain when the red area was touched mean anything? With herpes is it generally tender or painful? And would there, in addition to that, be only that one?

Also, is it true that if within 4-8 days I have no symptoms then most likely I don't have anything (as far as herpes I mean)?

[auntiejessi]

No, the 4-8 days is wrong.  Typically, its 2-20 days.

That he has no pain is a good sign.  

I know its hard not to worry, but I think you might be worrying too much over this.  Have you asked him to just test?

Aj

[NegativeCreep]

No I haven't asked him, I figured it'd be useless 'cause before we did anything I asked and I KEPT asking him. He may think I'm crazy and just stop talking to me (which'll freak me out even more).

But yeah, no pain. And since he was so high he REALLY had to keep masturbating. I mean this went on for hours, from like 1am to maybe 8 am, and no pain or oozing or anything. Plus when we were playing around before like 3 weeks ago he just took his penis out right in front of his friend and it was erect - indicating he wasn't self-conscious about somethign being there.

But I gotta wait 20 days to be okay? I seemed to have thought the first outbreak would come within a shorter time in general.

And yes I worry too much. My anxiety.

[auntiejessi]

I seriously doubt this is herpes.  Don't waste more time worrying about it.

Aj