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Herpes from HSV (+) to HSV (-) individual ???

I am currently dating someone that tested positive for HSV 1.  I know that this virus is incredibly common so I'm not that surprised, especially since I already knew that his mom has cold sore outbreaks.  If I am negative for the virus, how likely is transmission of HSV 1 during oral sex though?  My main concern is that I want to have more kids and I know that, while it is mostly just an inconvenience for most adults, it can be very serious for infants.  I don't want to get infected genitally.  I expect that at some point in our marriage, I will most likely pick it up orally from kissing, even if we try to be careful...but I do not want to get it on my breasts or genitally due to the risk of passing it on to our babies during childbirth, breastfeeding, etc.  If I want to be completely sure that I don't get it genitally, do we need to avoid this activity all together or just make sure not to during an outbreak?  How likely is transmission from asymptomatic shedding in this situation?   What would you recommend if we want to be on the safe side?  Thanks soooooooooooo much for your help! I greatly appreciate your responses and time! :)
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Avatar universal
you are right there isno reason to speculate he had it ginitially if eh had it orally that rearely happens. The chances are very low and some doctors would give you a 99% assurity it doesnt happens.
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Avatar universal
Thanks so much for continually taking the time to write!  You don't know how much I appreciate that! :)  

So even if he had it orally before he got married, you don't think that she would have passed it to his genitals?  I know you can get it from even one encounter, but I guess I feel like it is more likely to have happened since it was frequent fellatio over 7 years!  Could it be possible that he really wouldn't get it genitally in that length of time?  (he really doesn't know whether he had it orally before the marriage or not, but I would guess that he probably did since it is so common)  

(If you do'nt mind, I'd like to post when I get my results so taht you can tell me what precautions you think would be necessary! :)  Thanks again, Grace!  You have been so much help! :)
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101028 tn?1419603004
It's most likely to be oral. Even though over 60% of adults have hsv1 orally - only 20-40% of them ever get a recognizeable cold sore to know it.  

grace
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Avatar universal
I wish I lived in a bigger city...I am not close to any of the trial sites for the herpevac :(.  Thanks for the idea though!  
I realize that Hsv1 is extremely common.  I would hate to break up a relationship where everything else seems to be falling into place perfectly over this.  I do, however, want to make sure that we know the risks and what precautions we need to take to protect each other and our children/future children.  

His test showed up positive for HSV1.  As far as he can remember, he hasn't ever had a cold sore though.  His does remember his ex getting cold sore outbreaks though and received oral sex from her over a period of 7 years (as well as vaginal sex).  Is it possible that the positive HSV1 test could actually be genital hsv1???  Is there any way to know?  I will be getting tested soon so we will have a better idea of what precautions we need to take.  I am just trying to figure out what we are dealing with on his side (oral herpes, genital herpes, etc.) so that we can be more careful.  Thanks sooooo much for everything!!!  
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101028 tn?1419603004
You didn't mention your age but if you are under 30 you could google the herpevac trials and see if any are going on near you. It's a free WB herpes blood test if you go apply for them :)

Hsv1 is very common. By the time we retire to the rocking chairs at the old folks home - about 80% of us have the virus.  Not many of us get thru life without it.  Find out what your status is and go from there.  I'd hate to think that a relationship would end over something as common as herpes no matter if it's hsv1 or hsv2, oral or genital.  You can't sit in the mall and spit without hitting someone with at least one form of hsv. It's THAT common.

grace
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Avatar universal
One more thing..again! :)  I was just thinking...I know that his ex had oral herpes and used to perform unprotected oral sex on him over a period of many years.  How likely is it that he could already have hsv1 genitally and would it be possible for me to get it from him?  I guess that we could abstain from unprotected oral sex if necessary, but would like to have unprotected sex without worrying if I'm going to contract genital herpes!  Thanks again for your help!!!!
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Avatar universal
Thanks for your response!  He tested negative for everything besides HSV 1.  I have an appointment set up in 2 weeks to get tested.   I have only been with my ex-husband before and he previously tested negative for everything, but I want to test just to be positive before I get involved sexually with someone else (just in case my ex-husband's results weren't accurate due to recent exposure or something...he had an affair).  

If I already have HSV 1, would we need to take precautions to protect me from getting it genitally?  Is it likely to get it genitally if you already have it orally?  

If I don't already have antibodies (which I am not counting on but think it is a possibility after my ex-husband tested negative for it), what would we need to do to make sure that I don't get it???  I'd much rather err on the side of caution because I really don't want to get it genitally.  This is not as critical of a question to me, but I am still curious: If I do'nt have any antibodies to it already and we try to be careful not to kiss during an outbreak, how likely is it to catch from asymptomatic shedding?  
Thanks sooooooo much for your help!  
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101028 tn?1419603004
Warts on the finger aren't likely to be transmitted to the genital area. He can buy otc treatments for them and have them gone in a couple of weeks though. Tell him to go buy some and be rid of them!

Get yourself tested for herpes to know your status. Also encourage him to get tested for hsv2 and all other std's.  You can' t make educated decisions about precautions until you know who has what.

grace
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Avatar universal
Oh yeah...one more thing....he also has a couple of warts on his index finger that are fairly large...what would be the risk of passing that to me genitally if he doesn't get them removed?  As I understand, the warts that are typically on fingers are not usually the strains of HPV that cause cervical cancer, but I would rather not deal with it anyway, kwim?  Thanks again! :)
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