My opening comments in the thread immediately before this one also appy to your question: "If a person has to ask whether particular symptoms are due to herpes, almost always the answer is no. Herpes can be entirely asymptomatic, but when it causes symptoms at all, those symptoms are generally quite characteristic of the disease and not 'atypical'."
And now having read your question, indeed herpes is unlikely to explain your symptoms. Even if you were to have a positive blood test for HSV-2, I would suspect you have asymptomatic herpes plus some other cause of your symptoms. Herpes doesn't cause itching or burning without overt blisters or open sores. And although herpes can cause vaginal discarge, that is rarely the only symptom, and herpes does no recur so regularly--and rarely as often as once a month.
So I doubt you have herpes. That said, it's a general principle that HSV antibody testing is a good idea in people with unexplained, possibly inflammatory genital symptoms--so I don't understand your provider's resistance to testing. It could indeed give misleading results--for example, if positive for HSV-2 it won't prove your symptoms are due to herpes--maybe that's his or her reason. But if negative, it would prove that herpes isn't the cause and both you and s/he could then more easily.
I'm interested that you know you are HSV-1 positive. When HSV-1 blood tests are done, usually HSV-2 testing is done as well. In any case, you are only partly right about the effect of HSV-1 on HSV-2. There is some evidence (but with conflicting research results) that having HSV-1 might make someone less susceptible to catching HSV-2 if exposed. But HSV-1 does not change the symptoms or severity of HSV-2 in those infected with both viruses.
Vulvodynia is just a word to use for otherwise unexplained vulvar itching or burning. Asking whether you might have vulvodynia is sort of like asking whether recurrent headaches might be due to headaches of unknown cause. In general, however, vulvodynia doesn't include recurrent vaginal discharge, and I believe most women with that problem have continuous and not intermittent symptoms. But these really are issues for your gynecologist; I'm not an expert in this area. I advise against hydrocortisone unless recommended by a health care provider.
Bottom line: Your symptoms aren't due to herpes, but if you remain unconvinced you should discuss the idea of testing with your provider once again (you could show him/her this message). Further, your symptoms don't suggest any other STD either. (You mention blood testing for HPV at the start of your message. You probably didn't mean it; there is no blood test, or any other test, designed to pick up asymptomatic HPV infection.)
Good luck--- HHH, MD