High Risk, Low Risk, or No Risk

Dear Doctor:

I am a 33-year old married man with two children, and I am afraid that I have put my wife's sexual health at jeopardy.  

As of yesterday, my STD/HIV panels have been all negative.

Yesterday, however, I really screwed-up.  I did not tell my wife yet, and I don't know how to approach her to report to her the evils that I may have exposed her to.

Yesterday, I went to a massage parlor ("spa").   We had the following sexual contact:

**She massage my legs and feet (No Risk).

**Then she gave me a handjob.  What scares me about this is that the she gave me the handjob WITHOUT A CONDOM.

**After the handjob, I visually inspected the both hand.  No cuts, no scrapes, not even a hangnail.

Then I really screwed up, and I have sex with my wife this morning WITHOUT A CONDOM.  

In terms of HIV, what do I need to do now?   I'm really on the edge of having put my wife at risk.  My gut reaction is that there is ZERO (ZILCH, NADA) risk.  But an STD hotline said that the ONLY "zero risk" is "zero contact."  I don't understand how this handjob can be risky?

Thank you,

Dom

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Don't lose any sleep over that exposure.  Zero, zilch, nada pretty well sums it up.  You were at no risk.

Good luck--  HHH, MD

[Imdumb]

No risk. Zero. None. Not for any STD.

Handjobs are 100 percent safe.

[BenG]

You have NOTHING to worry about. Dr H has said many times that you cannot transmit any STDs by a hand job.

By the way, if I can offer you my opinion, I don't think you should tell your wife. It was a zero risk encounter and why do you want to jepordise your marriage over this? You regret what you did and I believe that is enough. It will make things worse if you tell her. Also, you didn't actually have sex so it wasn't adultry.

Just my opinion, hope it helps.

Ben

[monkeyflower]

No one has ever gotten a STD from a handjob. Those STD hotline folks are just CYA and following our govt's abstinence agenda. Funding, you know.

[frnkbates]

Don't tell your wife on std grounds, you have not endangered her sexual health because you can't pick up an std from a handjob EVEN IF she was infected which usually they are not. You regret it so i would say learn from the experiance,put it behind you and in my personal experiance,i wont be doing it again.....it's just not worth the stress!!! Frank

[SeattleMan]

She was completely clothed throughout.

[Imdumb]

Your risk is equivalent to shaking hands with someone zero.

[dda,cc]

10 days ago I went to a topless bar where a girl came up to me and asked if I wanted a private dance.  She said she liked to do everything.  I was very taken aback and consented to just a  handjob.  She took me to the back lap dance booth and proceeded.  It made me a little nervous about std because she used quit a bit of salvia several times for lubercation.  I felt tenderness later in the week, but I think it is just my mind playing tricks.  So I went looking for something on line about std and hj's.  So do you think even with a lot of salvia involved one is in the clear?

dd