Aa
How long before you can infect someone else / incubation period for stds
Hi Dr.
I'll try to be brief.
The other night I had intercourse with a girlfriend of mine (friend that's a girl). We had protected sex for a while and unprotected sex for about thirty seconds. I know... stupid. I found out later that she had also had sex with a friend of mine the night before and I'm sure they didn't use a condom. He's a good friend and I was really shocked and offended by the news when I found out obviously. Here are my questions:
1. if my male "friend" (who slept with the girl the night before) has herpes, hpv, or any other stds what is the risk that she could spread them to me within 24 hours? do most of these stds need time to "blossom" before the person who is infected can pass them on? or can they be passed on immediately? I'm hoping that she couldn't have given me the majority of things that he could have within that short of a window. Herpes is the one I am most worried about (aside from HIV), I'm pretty sure I must have HPV by now so that's less of a concern... it seems like everyone I know does.
2. I know the risk for HIV is low for my group but how soon should I wait to get tested? I've heard 3 months, I've heard a few weeks, I've heard six months... I've heard a lot of things and am very interested in what your opinion is. I think I'm going to start dating someone else and will probably stick with condoms for three months so I don't put them in danger. I'm hoping that it will become a long term trusting relationship so I don't have to worry about this crap anymore.
Thanks for your help.
Friar Tuck
I'll try to be brief.
The other night I had intercourse with a girlfriend of mine (friend that's a girl). We had protected sex for a while and unprotected sex for about thirty seconds. I know... stupid. I found out later that she had also had sex with a friend of mine the night before and I'm sure they didn't use a condom. He's a good friend and I was really shocked and offended by the news when I found out obviously. Here are my questions:
1. if my male "friend" (who slept with the girl the night before) has herpes, hpv, or any other stds what is the risk that she could spread them to me within 24 hours? do most of these stds need time to "blossom" before the person who is infected can pass them on? or can they be passed on immediately? I'm hoping that she couldn't have given me the majority of things that he could have within that short of a window. Herpes is the one I am most worried about (aside from HIV), I'm pretty sure I must have HPV by now so that's less of a concern... it seems like everyone I know does.
2. I know the risk for HIV is low for my group but how soon should I wait to get tested? I've heard 3 months, I've heard a few weeks, I've heard six months... I've heard a lot of things and am very interested in what your opinion is. I think I'm going to start dating someone else and will probably stick with condoms for three months so I don't put them in danger. I'm hoping that it will become a long term trusting relationship so I don't have to worry about this crap anymore.
Thanks for your help.
Friar Tuck
Thanks so much for your prompt reply. It is definitely going to help me sleep well tonight but regardless I'll be sure to get tested and to be careful in the meantime.
As for the girl (that's a friend) - she had a rough week and was sleeping with us to get revenge on her bf - who is also our friend. We're all eskimo brothers now and it grosses me out. She's already apologizing non stop and freaking out about the whole thing... so I don't think she's been doing it for years or anything. But still it goes to show that you never really know what people are capable of and you can't really trust anyone.
A million thanks once again.
FT
As for the girl (that's a friend) - she had a rough week and was sleeping with us to get revenge on her bf - who is also our friend. We're all eskimo brothers now and it grosses me out. She's already apologizing non stop and freaking out about the whole thing... so I don't think she's been doing it for years or anything. But still it goes to show that you never really know what people are capable of and you can't really trust anyone.
A million thanks once again.
FT
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum.
This is clearly a risky situation with respect to STDs. But contrary to your apparent assumptions, the STD risk has nothing to do with your buddy and his sex with the same partner a day earlier. Your female partner is the problem: she clearly is someone who is minimally selective, if at all, about her partners, and has sex with casual partners, sometimes (often? usually?) without condoms. A woman like her has a very good chance of being infected with chlamydia, HSV-2, and HPV; and perhaps a fair chance of gonorrhea as well. The risks of syphilis and HIV are low, however.
So on that basis, you ought to be tested for STDs. Consider visiting your local health department STD clinic for highly expert, confidential evaluation and testing. Most likely you weren't infected, even if she is; most STDs are not efficiently transmitted -- i.e. even if she was infected, the odds are in your favor. But of course better safe than sorry.
As those comment suggest, the specific questions you ask are not very important. But the answer to no. 1 is that 24 hours is too soon for her to become infected and then have the infections progress to a point they could be transmitted. Even if your buddy has any of several STDs, you are not at risk on that account. But if you remain concerned about it, you could speak to him and suggest he go for STD testing when you do yourself.
As for HIV, it's not a serious consideration in this situation, unless you (male) friend is bisexual, or if either he or your (female) friend use drugs by injection. If not, I really wouldn't worry about HIV. But since you ask, here are two threads on the HIV Prevention and Safe Sex forum that go into detail about timing for reliable test results. The bottom line is that for an antibody-only test, 6-8 weeks is enough time; for the antibody/p24 "combo" tests, it's 4 weeks. (Read all of both threads; some of the main information is in follow-up comments.)
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/-A-Question-on-Testing/show/1347755
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/Need-your-help/show/1345664
My final comment concerns your apparent dismay/shock that your buddy had sex with the same woman you did. Your wording -- suggests she is a friend that happens to be female, but not your girlfriend in the romantic sense. If so, what makes your (male) friend any less responsible to you (or less a friend) than you are to him?
Anyway, I hope this puts things into perspective for you and is helpful.
Regards-- HHH, MD
This is clearly a risky situation with respect to STDs. But contrary to your apparent assumptions, the STD risk has nothing to do with your buddy and his sex with the same partner a day earlier. Your female partner is the problem: she clearly is someone who is minimally selective, if at all, about her partners, and has sex with casual partners, sometimes (often? usually?) without condoms. A woman like her has a very good chance of being infected with chlamydia, HSV-2, and HPV; and perhaps a fair chance of gonorrhea as well. The risks of syphilis and HIV are low, however.
So on that basis, you ought to be tested for STDs. Consider visiting your local health department STD clinic for highly expert, confidential evaluation and testing. Most likely you weren't infected, even if she is; most STDs are not efficiently transmitted -- i.e. even if she was infected, the odds are in your favor. But of course better safe than sorry.
As those comment suggest, the specific questions you ask are not very important. But the answer to no. 1 is that 24 hours is too soon for her to become infected and then have the infections progress to a point they could be transmitted. Even if your buddy has any of several STDs, you are not at risk on that account. But if you remain concerned about it, you could speak to him and suggest he go for STD testing when you do yourself.
As for HIV, it's not a serious consideration in this situation, unless you (male) friend is bisexual, or if either he or your (female) friend use drugs by injection. If not, I really wouldn't worry about HIV. But since you ask, here are two threads on the HIV Prevention and Safe Sex forum that go into detail about timing for reliable test results. The bottom line is that for an antibody-only test, 6-8 weeks is enough time; for the antibody/p24 "combo" tests, it's 4 weeks. (Read all of both threads; some of the main information is in follow-up comments.)
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/-A-Question-on-Testing/show/1347755
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/Need-your-help/show/1345664
My final comment concerns your apparent dismay/shock that your buddy had sex with the same woman you did. Your wording -- suggests she is a friend that happens to be female, but not your girlfriend in the romantic sense. If so, what makes your (male) friend any less responsible to you (or less a friend) than you are to him?
Anyway, I hope this puts things into perspective for you and is helpful.
Regards-- HHH, MD
You are reading content posted in the STDs Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
