INFO ABOUT SOME THINGS

[1VERY_CONCERNED]

OKAY, WELL MY GIRLFRIEND WAS TOLD BY HER DOCTOR THAT SHE HAD AN IRREGULAR PAP A COUPLE YEARS BEFORE MEETING ME AND WHEN WE GOT TOGETHER WE WERE USING CONDOMS AT FIRST. THEN WE STOPPED USING THEM AND SHE NEVER NOTIFIED ME OF HER HAVING HPV. SHE SAYS THAT SHE DID BUT I DEFINITELY DO NOT RECALL IT AND IF SHE DID AND WOULD HAVE TOLD ME THE TRUTH ABOUT ALL THE EFFECTS AND ALL I DEFINITELY WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO SAY "BABY, IT DOESN'T MATTER CAUSE I LOVE YOU". NOW I'M FURIOUS WHN I FIND IT OUT. I HAD NOTICED A FEW SYMPTOMS BUT NEVER REALLY WORRIED ABOUT IT TOO MUCH. NOW I'M STARTING TO REALIZE ALOT ABOUT OUR SITUATION. ON TOP OF ALL THAT SHE'S GIVEN ME "CRABS" AND TRIED TO SAY THAT I GAVE HER CHLYMIDIA, I THINK THATS HOW IT'S SPELLED. BUT THAT'S WILD TO THINK SO BECAUSE I HAVE ONLY BEEN WITH HER AND WHEN SHE SAID IT TO ME SHE WASN'T EVEN ANGRY.



CAN YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE INSIGHT TO ALL OF THIS. I THINK THAT I LOVE HER BUT WHAT I TRUELY KNOW IS THAT I LOVE MYSELF ENOUGH TO LEAVE. AND LEGALLY, DO PEOPLE HAVE TO INFORM THEIR PARTNERS WHEN THEY KNOW THEY HAVE A SERIOUS DISEASE SUCH AS HPV?


This discussion is related to Adverse effects of non-condom use with partner after diagnosis of HPV.

[auntiejessi]

Dude, calm down.

First, if she had an abnormal pap, that would mean that she has the type of HPV that wouldn't give you symptoms.  If this was a couple of years before you met her, and she's had normal paps since, you aren't at risk for getting it.

Have you only been with her EVER?  Or just recently?  If you've ever been with someone else, then you could have given her chlamydia.  Have you tested for that?  Maybe she wasn't angry because she knew you could have had it before her, and not known it, so why blame?

And good luck trying to find a woman who hasn't had hpv.  80% of people will get it in their lifetimes, and about 50% of women in their early 20s have a CURRENT hpv infection.  Its estimated that if you've had 3 or more partners, you've had it, whether you know it or not.  Most HPV infections don't produce symptoms, and there is no test for men, so you'd have no way of knowing if you had it or not.

She says that she did tell you.  Maybe you weren't paying attention, maybe she didn't explain it in terms that you understood.  Its not her job to educate you on stds - that's YOUR job.  

Did you all have a good conversation about stds before you started having sex?  That's a must for anyone.  Now you know.

You'd have a really hard time proving anything in court - how are you harmed, can you prove bad intent, can you prove that you got it?  And really, do you want to take it there?

If you love her, and this is your only issue with her, then just sit down with her and talk about stds, and get tested.

And a little internet hint - typing in all caps is considered yelling, and rude.

AJ

[1VERY_CONCERNED]

SORRY ABOUT THE "TYPING ISSUE" AND THANKS ALOT FOR YOUR SUGGESTIONS THEY ARE REALLY APPRECIATED!


:)

[1VERY_CONCERNED]

i apologize again for the typing issues, didnt realize the caps were on!


thanks alot!