Here is my preliminary answer, before I even read your story and question(s), based just on the title you chose for this thread ("Is it all in my head?"): Probably yes. As I have said many, many times on this forum, when a person suggests his or her own problem is due to anxiety, stress, or emotion, I suspect s/he is usually right.
Now I will read the question; we'll see whether it changes my gut reaction.
OK, I read it. Guess what: It is absolutely certain you do not have genital herpes. And indeed, your symptoms are classical for anxiety--and had you come to me as a patient, herpes wouldn't have even entered my mind as a possible explanation. It isn't so much that anxiety causes physical symptoms out of the blue (my personal opinion, and I'm not a mental health professional); but for sure anxiety can dramatically magnify normal body sensations.
What to do? Definitely see a mental health professional. I suggest out of compassion, and in the sincere belief it will help you. Please do it.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
Believe me, the compliment is certainly much appreciated, but in all fairness I picked up that particular verbiage from your posts ;-)
Note Monkeyflower's comment "you may have just become hyperaware of your normal body sensations". Exactly what I said about anxiety-related symptoms. I did not see Monkeyflower's comments before I posted mine, in fact didn't even know she had responded before I did.
The intent isn't to praise MF (although it is deserved, and not just for this thread), but to reinforce our joint message about where the real problem lies. Please do follow up with a mental health professional.
HHH, MD
I agree that anxiety is most likely. What about allergies and diet as other possibilities?
Good question. I am assuming genital, but the doctor didn't say and I am having a hard time trying to contact the doctor who tested. All he said was I tested negative and he tested positive. At the time I didn't even think to ask, I guess because of the initial shock of the results because I was the one who was "experiencing" symptoms.
While you wait for Dr. Handsfield's reply, I think it's a pretty good bet you don't have herpes. First of all, you only started noticing symptoms after hearing your partner had herpes (which he apparently didn't even know but was open to finding out - so whoever told you this clearly had some ulterior motive for doing so), and you've developed more and more herpes symptoms the more you read. I'm not saying it's all in your head, but don't underestimate the power of suggestion. I remember taking a disease in history class years ago that had most of us imagining we had all the symptoms of the most obscure, gruesome (and usually fatal) diseases you can imagine, lol.
Also, you may have just become hyperaware of your normal body sensations. Have you ever really looked at a very common word, like "the", and began to think it looked weird, or wrong? It's kind of like that, lol. You could also be experiencing something else altogether. As another poster noted, google vulvodynia. And some (maybe most) of what you're experiencing sounds like anxiety symptoms/tension as well. Besides, herpes doesn't last every day for months, and your symptoms didn't respond to Valtrex, AND you had all negative tests, so I think you can let that one go.
I would suggest seeing your gyn to find out what might really be going on for you. You might consider seeking out a pelvic pain specialist as well, if your gyn can't find anything. Then, if neither of them find anything physically wrong and you're still feeling as stressed out about this as you sound, I'd suggest seeking counseling.
how many times have you tested negative for herpes?
what about vulvodinia, or vaginitis?
it doesn't sound like you have herpes, and to get tested again would be wasting a lot of money for another, likely, negative result.
also - what hsv type did your partner test positive for?
I forgot that we only had sexual intercourse vaginally, no oral or anal at all.
I have tested negative for herpes three times now, but only one type specific IGG test that I know of for sure of, at approximately 17 weeks past last sexual encounter.