Is this herpes (or a yeast infection??) and if so which type?

[Larlie2011]

Four months ago I had what I thought was a bad case of thrush.  My genitals became itchy and sore and a few small rips in the skin appeared, as though it were dry and had stretched apart.  I then used feminine wipes which made the problem even worse - the cuts got worse and it really burned when I went to the toilet.  There were no blisters, no pus, no crusting or healing over.  I went to the doctor who said she wasn't sure what it was, but it might, possibly, be herpes.  She had no viral swabs with her so could not test for it and by the time i could get another appointment (a week later) they had healed so I couldn't be tested (in england doctors dont seem to offer blood testing for this!).  I used a pessary for thrush but it didn't work.  

Since then I have never had another outbreak, so cannot be sure what I had.  I was sleeping with someone at the time who didn't have any obvious symptoms on his genitals, though I vaguely remember that he had a cold sore at some point in the past and he did give me oral sex.  I have just started seeing someone new and am terrified of sleeping with him after everything Ive read about herpes.  I feel like I'm in an impossible situation, as I can't find out conclusively whether I'm clean until I have another outbreak, which might NEVER happen, and I don't want to infect him because I know that even if we use a condom he might get it if I'm shedding.  There is no way I can tell him I might have herpes if I may not even have it, it would ruin everything, and I feel totally despondent like my only option is to never have sex again with anyone. My questions are as follows:-

1)  Are there other explanations as to why I might have had the symptoms described above?  I do quite often get bad cases of thrush and am on the pill which makes me prone to them.  Maybe bacterial vaginosis?  I've seen pictures of herpes symptoms and mine looked nothing like that, they weren't blisters, more like tears in the skin.

2)  If not, then is it likely that I have HSV1 or HSV2?  I've heard that HSV1 is less aggressive, less likely to recurr and less easily transmitted, is this right?

3)  What are the odds of me transmitting it to my new partner if we use a condom and I don't have any symptoms or tingling?

4)  What are the odds of me transmitting it to him if we DONT use a condom but I still don't have any symptoms or tingling?

5)  If he contracted it genitally from me would he neccessarily show symptoms?  

6)  I've heard that herpes makes you more vulnerable to HIV, this is absolutely terrifying me.  Surely this would only be if I had unprotected sex with someone who was HIV positive WHILST I had open leisons or cuts???

I'd be so grateful for an opinion and advice on this as I'm driving myself crazy and dont want to end up pushing my new partner away just because I'm scared.  I feel like I'm in an impossible position and don't know whether I'm worrying uneccessarily.  Please help!

[gracefromHHP]

fortunately the rates of hsv2 infection in the UK are rather low but the rates of hsv1 infection, both orally and genitally are high.  you can't prevent transmission to a partner unless you know your status but getting herpes blood testing isn't easy no matter what country you live in unfortunately :(  

there are different kinds of yeasts that can infect the vagina. Not unusual for us gals to take more than 1 treatment to clear vaginal thrush infections unfortunately. Yeast weakens the skin and makes it tear easily - especially if you get it frequently.

[Larlie2011]

Thanks so much for your response.  It seems ridiculous that blood testing isn't offered here at GUM clinics or at the gp - in fact both doctors I've spoken to have been a bit vague and unhelpful about it and never mentioned that I could get it done privately.  

I'm crossing my fingers it was thrush or some other kind of vaginal infection, I'm just a bit scared because normally a pessary works really well at clearing away thrush for me and this time it didn't do anything.  If anyone out there has had the same symptoms as me and found another explantion for the skin splitting that WASN'T herpes please please please let me know because at the moment it all feels a bit hopeless!  

It's silly really because even if I did test positive for it may not mean that the outbreak wasnt just a case of thrush, bv etc, I may have had it since i was a kid and never even thought about it before and now becasuse of this I can tell I'm going to be paranoid about infecting people for the rest of my life.  

[gracefromHHP]

You can get type specific herpes igg blood testing done in the UK. You can't get it done at the gum clinics though. You'll need to seek out a private doctor to get it done and pay out of pocket for it. Unfortunately though if you only test + for hsv1, if you can't recall a history of cold sores, no way to know if your hsv1 is oral or genital.  
your partner also would need tested for herpes to know his own status so that you can make educated decisions about what precautions to take together.

your symptoms you describe do sound like thrush far more than herpes. should they reoccur, be seen within 48 hours of their appearance for proper testing for both.

if you get vaginal yeast infections frequently, discuss with your provider using oral diflucan regularly to try to prevent them.also uric cap 5 is the name of a probiotic product you should be able to find to help increase your 'good' bacteria in your urogenital tract so you have less vaginitis in general too.

grace