Just want the truth

[99999999]

My wife has recently tested positive for gonarrehea. She was test by swab. After her results came back she blamed me for the infection. I was tested but with a urine test at a express care facility. It wasn't the first urination of the day but was first stream. My results were negative. She had sex with a female 2 months prior unprotected.  The other women tested negative twice. I had sex with a different women 3 to 4 months prior. I had no symptoms of any kind and tested negative as i stated. My wife swears the only person she had been with was the women that tested negative two months earlier one time  and me continuously. So my question is is it even possible that i had it for that long with no symptoms and tested negative? Or did she cheat with someone else all together? Also Ive heard of carriers does that apply to my situation? Lastly I contract gonarrehea 7 years ago, was treated and fine, but that time i had pain when urinating and discharge. It was horrible that time. Is there any way shes not lieing or is it just false hope?

[Vance2335]

I have heard some antibiotics may cause it but not sure what ones or if that info I read was accurate, I think when I read it, it was labeled as a "Might".

And her symptoms that made her test would not be related, the lower back pain might due to PID but it normally takes months for something like that to show and high chances are you would have picked it up also.

[2terrified]

I believe antibiotics could affect results.  Vance or Grace may respond for a more definite answer.  But I am pretty sure.

[99999999]

She tested originally because she said she thaught she had a kidney infection because of strong smelling urine and inner lower back pain. Also  shortly before the positive test she was on antibiotics for something. does that matter?

[2terrified]

I can see why you have a problem with what she is saying.  But if she has it, then she got it from somewhere.  You  and everybody else tested negative.  I'm leaning toward her having had a false result. She may have had some other infection going on that could have caused the positive result.  The tests they use these days are not 100% (but very close and accurate) and are pretty sensitive. I was told by a nurse practitioner the last time I tested that gonorrhea is difficult to detect in women but shows up with no problems in men. I just don't think you are going to be able to figure this out.  Just talk to your wife about where to go from here.  It seems like a crappy situation.  Hopefully you can work through it.

[Vance2335]

False positives happen from urine tests and swab test it is possible. I mean if she just got the infection like 2 weeks before the test from being with another man then there is a good chance that you did not pick it up. But if she has had it for 3-4 months the chance is a lot lower that it was not passed to you (assuming sex a couple times a week for those months). Highly unlikely that she had this for 6+ months and did not pass it on to you.

Like I said if she started treatment you will not know if it was a true infection or if it was a false positive.

What made her test in the 1st place?

[99999999]

I see what your sayin but the relationship isnt open. We both did what we did,I told her about what i did. the reason im sceptical is she didnt admit she was with the other women until i tested negative. I guess my main question would be is it really that big of a possibility that she had a false positive or is it minute meanning she probablly cheated because the other women tested negative twice, and wouldnt it be extremely rare for me to have no symptoms for 3 to 4 months and test negative? she seemed very confident of her positive result, telling me her doctors office doesnt even use urine tests for these situations because of the accuracy or reliability of them. Sorry to keep on about it but im just trying to learn as much as possible. I want to believe her, but it looks so bad. I mean the facts are she tested positive and the people im aware of that she had sex with (me and the other women) tested negative.

[2terrified]

I agree with Vance.  It seems more likely she got a false positive.  Men almost always get symptoms with gonorrhea.  You have experienced that first hand.  And having had it prior would make you even more susceptible.

Honestly, you seem to have an open sexual relationship, so there is no point in trying to figure this out.  It could have come from anywhere if in fact she did get gonorrhea.  So, you should consider doing what is necessary to cure it, or retest, then move on.  

And my advice to you (having a friend who was in an openly sexual marriage and now getting divorced because of trust issues on her husband's part...very true story), either make the decision to be monogamous or just accept that std's are a risk that comes along with the territory in open sexual relationships.  Neither of you should be blaming the other at all in my opinion.

[99999999]

So your saying theres a much higher chance that her test was a false positive rather than my urine test considering I tested negative and had no symptoms for months? Honestly isnt it more likely that shes cheated with another person all together and i was lucky enough not to get it? Thanks for the help

[Vance2335]

Well if she has not started treatment it might be best for her to retest, she might have gotten a false positive.

Was your urine at least 1hr before last urine? If so then your test should be solid.

If wife has started treatement and your test is solid you will not be able to have any answers to where this possibly could have come from. Because she could have a false positive, you could have gotten it from that other woman 3-4 months ago and not had symptoms (rare but possibl about 90% of men get symptoms and around 60% of women will get symptoms). For her to have gotten it from a woman she would have had to use a sex toy right after the other woman used it for a possible risk and with that woman testing negative probably didn't get it from her.

I guess to simply things, if wife has not started treatment she should retest, if she has then there is no way you will find out if she had it or it was a false positive.