Mono

[duym]

Doctor,

   I e-mailed in early July about visiting a massage parlor and receiving an erotic massage and protected oral sex. This was my first experience with "intercourse" and I wish it was different. I felt extremely anxious afterwards reading about HIV on the internet and barely slept for a week. Five days after the visit on June 30th I got a sore throat and nasal area. Ten days later, both my tonsils were full of white pus. This sore throat is mild and seems to go away and come back. I went to see a provider in early August because I still had a mild sore throat and the area by my tonsils was red and irritated. She did a throat culture and blood tests. This week, I got written results from the visit which said:

"Looks like you had "mono" - Your antibodies are consistent with convalescent phase or chronic active infection." She checked a box that said "You need no further tests"

I don't really understand what convalescent or chronic active infection means and what I should do about it. I also am not sure how I could have gotten mono from the prostitute I visited as we did not kiss on the mouth (I did kiss her neck) but I don't know anything about mono other than it is known as the kissing disease. I still have a mild sore throat with red irritated streaks (one has a white area in it) before my tonsils and one of my tonsils has a little pus on it.

As HIV infection is "mononucleosis-like" this renewed my fear of being infected. I am planning to test myself in October for HIV for a definitive result as well as other STDs. I do struggle with anxiety but I really want to learn from this experience. I was thinking that in the future before being intimate with a partner, I would ask to make sure she had been tested for STDs to know beforehand what my risks are. I would also make sure that I trusted her to be faithful. I am wondering if you think the STD testing request is reasonable. My friends think that is a joke and that I am a crazy hypochondriac. But I think it would be good at least for peace of mind. Thanks for your time and this service.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

You need to clarify what the lab results mean with the provider who did the tests.  I'm not sure how to interpret them. Your symptoms do sound consistent with mononucleosis, but you probably didn't get it from the sexual exposure you describe. You can be absolutely confident it isn't HIV.

I'm not a sexuality counselor.  Some people will go to the steps you suggest to avoid any risk of STD; others will decide that sexual expression is too important to let such considerations be the predominant ones. For most people, sex precedes true intimacy and permanent commitment.  Just using condoms will reduce most of the risk of serious outcomes.  And despite all the hype, 99% of sexual encounters occur without anybody giving an infection to anyone else.

(I'm reminded of a movie from 10 years ago, whose name I forget. Albert Brooks played a recently divorced man moving into his childhood home, Debbie Reynolds as his mother.  She is dating an elegant older gent.  Brooks asks "Mother, you're not intimate with him, are you?"  She replies, "Of course not, don't be silly.  We just have sex from time to time.")

HHH, MD

[worriedone4life]

Mononucleosis is not neccessarily just a kissing disease.  Many types of exposure to the virus will cause you to get it, and a lot of people get it. The virus can affect your system for up to a month. I had it this exact time of the year a few years back and mine lasted about 3 weeks.  Everyone I know had it this same time of year as well, as I can recall.  I know you are scared to death.  But I also doubt you have much to worry about.  

From this whole experience, you should learn and now know better than to visit "professionals"  as I like to call them.  I believe that god, if and whatever god you may believe in, gives every single person one wake up call, being a scare to put one's *** in check.  From this I hope you learn a lesson.  In the meantime, get checked out for some reassurance.  This doctor is highly intelligent and knowledgable in sexually transmitted diseases among other things, just look his name up using a google search.  I know he would never steer you in the wrong direction or give you false information.  Good luck to you!

[duym]

Yes you are right about visiting prostitutes. I thought it would be an exciting thing to do after thinking about it and talking with one of my friends. But the anxiety, both physical and moral, after the experience was unbearable. I am just praying that these symptoms I am experiencing have nothing to do with STDs and resolving to never do this again. I really want to put this behind me.

[Imdumb]

You can be 100% certain you are STD free.  Oral with a condom that doesn't break is a zero risk activity. Oral without a condom is extremely low risk for an STD, so with a condom you are 100% STD free.  People get mono everyday from non sexual ways.  You probably didn't get it from her, but you will never know 100% where you got it.

You should put this behind you before you are like me or others on here who have lost a few months of their lives to anxiety due to very low risk activities.  

And you are correct, stay away from the hoochie mommas.  It ain't worth it.  "Scared stratight".  Maybe this was a blessing that keeps us from going down riskier paths that do put at risk.