Aa
Mostly concerned about HPV
Hello Dr.
My situation is this, I've seen escorts for almost ten years. Usuallly I do not engage in intercourse, just oral or mutual masturbation. With the exception of a few oral instances I use condoms. I test regularly and have never had an STD (knock on wood). This week however I've seen 3 two that are early twenties and claim to have been doing this less than a year, one a college student. The third was 40. I did protected oral with the 40 year old as well as fingering her. However I did touch her breast with that hand and afterwards masturbated on her breast so that might of been a risk. The two younger ones I had protected oral and protected vaginal, both which lasted several minutes. Usuallly I am very careful to avoid making contact with anything not covered by the condom but this time I just went at it (missionary and from behind if it makes a difference). Over the years I have become increasingly confident in the protection of most STD's. I have not given HPV much thought over the years but in the past few days have been reading a lot, to the point that I'm considering telling my girlfriend which will undoubtbly ruin our family (we have two kids). I know my girlfriend had an abnormal pap in the past, I can't remember if she went back and got it looked at because her health insurance lapped. I'm just now worried that I will infect her with some cancer causing strain of HPV. Does that strain also clear up on it's own? When it doesn't is it usually because of a comprimised immune system? In light of what I've been reading I want to stop this behavior, due to past experiences, sex is really unemotional for me, but I do not want my girlfriend to die of cancer. While I'm also reading that HPV is common, I don't know if I'm being irresponsible if I choose not to worry about it.
Thanks
My situation is this, I've seen escorts for almost ten years. Usuallly I do not engage in intercourse, just oral or mutual masturbation. With the exception of a few oral instances I use condoms. I test regularly and have never had an STD (knock on wood). This week however I've seen 3 two that are early twenties and claim to have been doing this less than a year, one a college student. The third was 40. I did protected oral with the 40 year old as well as fingering her. However I did touch her breast with that hand and afterwards masturbated on her breast so that might of been a risk. The two younger ones I had protected oral and protected vaginal, both which lasted several minutes. Usuallly I am very careful to avoid making contact with anything not covered by the condom but this time I just went at it (missionary and from behind if it makes a difference). Over the years I have become increasingly confident in the protection of most STD's. I have not given HPV much thought over the years but in the past few days have been reading a lot, to the point that I'm considering telling my girlfriend which will undoubtbly ruin our family (we have two kids). I know my girlfriend had an abnormal pap in the past, I can't remember if she went back and got it looked at because her health insurance lapped. I'm just now worried that I will infect her with some cancer causing strain of HPV. Does that strain also clear up on it's own? When it doesn't is it usually because of a comprimised immune system? In light of what I've been reading I want to stop this behavior, due to past experiences, sex is really unemotional for me, but I do not want my girlfriend to die of cancer. While I'm also reading that HPV is common, I don't know if I'm being irresponsible if I choose not to worry about it.
Thanks
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Neither the genital HPV strains nor other STDs can be transmitted in the household in the ways you mention. They are not transmitted to others except by sex.
Thanks for the answer Doctor. In light of your medical advice I'm not saying anything, there's nothing to be gained for anyone. I'm sure I'm just feeling guilty as in the last year, cheating has started to bother me again, I don't know why. Are my kids at any risk around the house, in the pool, giving them a bath, or sleeping in our bed etc. They are three and a newborn.
Thanks.
Thanks.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum.
The specific practices you describe with your escort partners have kept you very safe from STDs in general, and probably reasonably safe from HPV as well. Hand-genital contact, kissing, etc are very low risk for HPV. However, assuming you are not a virgin -- i.e. you have had a full range of sexual exposures with other (non-commercial) partners in your life, including vaginal and perhaps anal and oral sex -- you can assume you have been infected with HPV.
Almost all sexually active persons are infected with HPV at one time or another, and the high risk (cancer causing) HPV types are the most common. Your partner probably has had such an infection (her abnormal pap). Other(s) may appear in your relationship, from past partners or other unknown sources, but not necessarily from the commercial exposures you have had. You need to work to accept that having and carrying HPV, including high risk strains, is a normal, expected, and essentially unavoidable aspect of human sexuality. Almost all infections indeed clear up on their own, without ever leading to cancer or any other serious outcome. It's not unlike carrying staph or strep on the skin: usually no harm comes, even though some staph and strep infections are killers.
Women who get regular pap smears at regular intervals virtually never get or die of HPV related cancer. Paps detect HPV related abnormalities well before they progress to cancer. If and when your partner has any future pap smear problem, it will be impossible to trace the source or to implicate you or your commercial sex exposures.
So you definitely are not being irresponsible if you "choose not to worry about it". That, in fact, is exactly what you should do. You may decide there is an emotional or relationship reason to discuss your commercial sex exposures with your partner. But there definitely is no health-related or HPV-related reason to do so.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
The specific practices you describe with your escort partners have kept you very safe from STDs in general, and probably reasonably safe from HPV as well. Hand-genital contact, kissing, etc are very low risk for HPV. However, assuming you are not a virgin -- i.e. you have had a full range of sexual exposures with other (non-commercial) partners in your life, including vaginal and perhaps anal and oral sex -- you can assume you have been infected with HPV.
Almost all sexually active persons are infected with HPV at one time or another, and the high risk (cancer causing) HPV types are the most common. Your partner probably has had such an infection (her abnormal pap). Other(s) may appear in your relationship, from past partners or other unknown sources, but not necessarily from the commercial exposures you have had. You need to work to accept that having and carrying HPV, including high risk strains, is a normal, expected, and essentially unavoidable aspect of human sexuality. Almost all infections indeed clear up on their own, without ever leading to cancer or any other serious outcome. It's not unlike carrying staph or strep on the skin: usually no harm comes, even though some staph and strep infections are killers.
Women who get regular pap smears at regular intervals virtually never get or die of HPV related cancer. Paps detect HPV related abnormalities well before they progress to cancer. If and when your partner has any future pap smear problem, it will be impossible to trace the source or to implicate you or your commercial sex exposures.
So you definitely are not being irresponsible if you "choose not to worry about it". That, in fact, is exactly what you should do. You may decide there is an emotional or relationship reason to discuss your commercial sex exposures with your partner. But there definitely is no health-related or HPV-related reason to do so.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
You are reading content posted in the STDs Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
