Need Peace of mind until test results come in

[danielle5247]

Hello, First i would like to thank you for this wonderful forum it has been very helpful to me over the past week. I have kind of an odd worry that was brought on my a class that i am taking at the university of rhode island. The class covered statistics of the hiv virus and so forth, and they seemed really high and very scary. This class had me think that maybe I myself was at risk of having contracted this virus. So now for the past week I have been a nervous wreck and have decided that I must have HIV. Two years ago i had sex with my best friend, i know exactly who he has had sex with in the past which was only one other person than myself. I dont think i ever displayed any symptoms of the virus, the only thing i do remember is losing my voice a couple weeks after, my throat didnt hurt so i attributed it to the extreme stress i was under at the time.  But for some reason two years later I am worried about this, so i started to think about things and one thing that i thought about was that i have been diagnoses with mono twice, but never really showed symptoms either time the fist time i got tested because my boyfriend had it so i got tested and had it but really no symptoms, then the second time i got a normal cbc done and my lymphocytes were up so they tested me for mono and it was positive again.  So this is what i am basing this on, tell me im being silly.  The statistics just seem so high and scary, I dont know what to think.  But they have scared me enough to get myself tested, which in the small state of rhode Island results can take from 7-14 days to get back and it has now been 8 so...
1)having unprotected sex three times two years ago with my best friend (he is a male and I am a female), who does not do drugs and is not bisexual and has had one other partner (whom does not seem permisquous in the least, i have met her a few times) other than myself would be low risk i assume? Would you under normal circumstances even recommend someone in my position to get tested?
2)having mono twice should be no reason to diagnose myself with hiv?
3)if it is so hard to contract like you say 1 to 1000 which makes my odds so good of not having it even if he did have it...why are the statistics so high.  I have seen stats such as 1 in 500 college students are thought to have HIV!

Im sorry if these are repetative questions but I really need some peace of mind, im not only driving myself crazy but those around me who tell me im fine and my chances are insignificant, even having mono twice or not.  This has been the worst week and a half of my life and it was all brought on by these scary statistics that i see in class and online.
Thank you so much for your help

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Relax; "those around you" are exactly right.  The chance your test will be positive is extremely low.  It's not a bad idea for all sexually active people to be tested from time to time; in fact, in a few months CDC will release guidelines advising that every American age 13-64 be tested for HIV the next time they visit a health care provider for any reason.  So to that extent, sure, it's a good idea for you to be tested.  But your sexual lifestyle and the particular sexual exposures you describe are not, in themselves, reasons for testing.  Except, of course, for the anxiety factor; clearly you will sleep better once you know your test result is negative.

To your specific questions:  1) See above.  2) No, your mono episodes don't raise any alarms.  3) I haven't seen the 1 in 500 college student figure, but it sounds plausible.  However, almost all the positives in that group will be people who are gay, bisexual, injection drug users, or the sex partners of people known to be infected with HIV.

The reasons are very complex why heterosexual HIV transmission is much less frequent in most (but not all) populations in the U.S. than in (say) parts of Africa or Asia.  Search the STD Forum threads and archives for "HIV transmission risk" for more information.

I don't want to minimize the risks; they are low for people in your situation, but not zero.  Hence the general advice about careful partner selection, condoms, etc.  Anyway, one of the take-home messages for you is to be tested regularly (e.g., once a year) for more common STDs, like chlamydia--as well as HIV.

Best wishes--  HHH, MD

[Brian123]

You suffer from what I call "paranoia".. ;)
Sweetheart, I am a gay male...much worse for me than you.
Consider this, your heterosexual and your risk is significantly LOWER.
Media coverage/exposure can enhance a sometimes scary situation such as HIV/AIDS.

Considering that you have only one partner, your risk is very low.
Unless your bf is an IV drug user, having multiple sex partners, etc....you do not carry a high risk.

No less getting tested is the only resolution to the dilemma....especially if it dwells in your mind.  (Feeling like Dear Abby here) I think you have generalized anxiety...all too contributed and fueled by the HIV/AIDS drama of today.

Also, quoted from someone I cannot remember, "There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and statistics."   So, do not rely on statistics.

Take care and always protect yourself. I certainly have learned.

[danielle5247]

Thank you Brian,
I know i am paranoid, and actually i have seen a pyschologist due to this unbeleivable amount of anxiety and he also things i have generalized anxiety disorder.  But either way I am absolutly terrified that for some reason this test is going to come back positive.
But again think you
and keep yourself safe also

[Soscared81]

I know exactly how you feel.  About 3 weeks ago I was diagnosed with HPV so naturally immediately I assumed I had a barrage of other STD's including HIV.  It took me a week and a half to get the guts up to get tested and then another week to get the results.  It was the absolute most horrible time of my life, even worse then when my dad died.  I couldn't eat or sleep or concentrate.  My throat was constantly swollen. I actually made myself sick.  Of course this added to the fear because I attributed all my ailments to HIV.

You can read and read and read about how low your chances are of having HIV but nothing is going to quell your fears until you get that test back.  I would read about how low my risks were and then immediately think, but there is still a chance.

One thing that comforted me was that when I actually went to get my blood taken, I asked my Dr. how long do people with HIV live now.  He said forever...no one (with good heath care) dies of it anymore.  He told me that in 1984 you have 220 days from diagnosis to death, now, people just keep on living. He told me that this has actually added to an increased number of cases because people are becoming lax about getting HIV since it’s not a death sentence anymore.

I rationalized that even though I knew my risks were really really low, that even if I did turn up having it, I will still live.  I won't turn into Tom Hanks from the movie Philadelphia.

Just keep taking deep breaths.  You'll get though this.

[danielle5247]

Thank you so much Soscared, its nice to know that there is someone out there that knows how i feel.  This has been the worst time of my life, the anxiety is making me sick and the test is taking so long to come back!! Im so sorry about your dad, that must have been really tough also.
Thanks for the support!

[Willl]

"One thing that comforted me was that when I actually went to get my blood taken, I asked my Dr. how long do people with HIV live now. He said forever...no one (with good heath care) dies of it anymore."

I read that someone recently infected may be expected to live 40+ years. It didn't state if that was based on current medication available or if that factors in what is expected to come in the near future. Without treatment, 10-12 years or so.

[Soscared81]

No problem.  If you want to chat further, you can send me a private message.  I don't want to give out my aol im here so you can find me on www.hpvsupport.com.  my screen name is HPVblows. There is an option to send private messages on that site. I'll give you my aol im through there if you would like.  By the way I'm 25/F.

[danielle5247]

Thank you everyone for the advice and comfort. It has comforted me also to know that many people are living long healthy lives with HIV, though I hope that this will not be my case anyway.  
I know my risk is low (that is what im hoping what the doctor will tell me when he respons) and i know im probably overreacting but i read stuff online and it scares me.  Mono for example, i hear you get it twice only if your immune supressed, but when i got it for the second time, my doc did not seem to surprised at all...so I dont know.  like i said i just need peace of mind until i get the results, it seems like its taking forever.  And soscared i will be on the lookout for your name on that site, it would be nice to talk to someone as anxious as myself about this stuff (im 23/F by the way)
thanks all and i will keep checking back in hope of the doctor responding soon.

[quiteconcerned]

Danielle,

I just went through almost the exact situation that you are going through, only lived with the anxiety for 8 years before I got tested (which was stupid).  When I asked my Dr. for the tests (he tested me for everything), he told me that the stress I was causing myself was much worse than anything my test results would show, and he was right.  After making myself sick with worry, I got my results back Thursday and everything was completely normal.  I am absolutely certain that with the encounter that you describe, your tests will be normal as well. :)

quiteconcerned

P.S.  Dr. HHH had accuratly assessed my risk and I totally trust his opinion.  I think you can take what he says to the bank. ;)

[danielle5247]

Thank you all..hopefully i can sleep at night now.  You have been a great help, i know that once i get the results i will feel alot better (as long as its negative that is)!

[danielle5247]

Just one more question Dr.  If you dont get a chance to answer it its not a big dea, i know you are very busy.  But do you think by chance alot of the information is inflated and out there to scare us (not that its a bad thing to make people aware).  For example i had no idea, until i found this site that there is 1 in 1000 (on average) of contracting hiv from a positive person.  i automatically assumed by what i was taught-you sleep with hiv positive person-you automatically get HIV.

[Brian123]

Danielle......Danielle.....

If everyone who slept with someone who has HIV got HIV....the world's population would have been greatly diminshed several years ago.

Take for instance Magic Johnson.  He slept with his wife for years before realizing that he had HIV.  His wife never contracted the disease.  She was also pregnant and the child never contracted it at all either.  That's a reason why they called their child "milagra"= "miracle".

Once this is over, let's count our blessings, learn, and move on with our lives.

Look at Dr. HHH's other threads on transmission. I myself had failed to review them before I sent my message. The Dr. probably all-to-often feels like a "broken record" on this forum.  Your chances are very, very slim.  Nonetheles, you have a better chance of getting struck by lightning, winning the LOTTO than contracting HIV.

Your fear was perpetuated by recent knowledge of HIV/AIDS.  At least in the long run you have learned more about the affects on the human psyche more than anything.

Take care. (And I promise..my last thread on this)

B.

[quiteconcerned]

In my high school health class we were taught the same thing -- if you came in contact with any STD one time, then you were pretty much guaranteed to have contracted it.  Fortunately for us, that's just not the case. :)  However, I was quite surprised when I learned on this forum that you could be infected with something and never have any symptoms, as we were never informed of that either.

Best wishes,
quiteconcerned

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

It's hard to judge whether in accurate messages on safer sex and STD prevention are politcally influenced.  In general, the larger and more nationally prominent the organization promoting a message, the less there is overt political influence (I think).  For example, although CDC overemphasizes abstinence (as if it were a practical option for most people) because it is more or less forced to do so, in CDC's sexual safety information I don't think the basic risks are dramatically inflated or modified on policital grounds.  The same generally is true of state and local health departments.

However, the smaller and more local the source of information, especially if not coming directly from health authorities, the more the information might be influenced by local politics.  As a result, there's probably a lot of variation between a school district in, say, a small county in the bible belt than in a larger, urban school district.  But even there, the problem often might be more naivete than politics. Or just the personal views on sex and morality of the particular teacher who was assigned the responsibility in a particular school.

HHH, MD

[danielle5247]

Thanks again everyone for the input.  I know i am being silly...i have totally convinced myself i am dying and mainly because i have been diagnosed with mono more than once, this is not a good reason to worry myself sick i know.  But nonetheless i will be nervous until the results come in....but not as nervous as i was.  I have realized that in order for myself to have contracted it the person i slept with would have had to contract it from the one other person he slept with.  Since he is a male, and only slept with that one person two or three times, his chances of getting it are very low even if she had it and she probably didnt.  So this is what i keep telling myself, so far it has halfway worked.
Thank you all again
Danielle

[monkeyflower]

I think I may have met your professor and some of the members of his dept at a seminar. From the little I saw, I *promise* you that they have grossly inflated the risks of all STDs. For instance, one claimed they see oral HPV almost every day in the student clinic (*extremely* doubtful), and that LGV is a big problem here on college campuses (completely not true). I don't really know why, except that they were remarkably sex-negative and pretty sexist overall.

[danielle5247]

im trying to stay calm, but results are still not in.  I am having a really hard time with this! :( why am i so scared! I know i shouldnt be!
Danielle

[quiteconcerned]

Danielle,

Have you read some of the other posts about this subject?  They are consistant in the fact that heterosexual transmission rates are extremely low (you've already said he wasn't bi or a heavy drug user).  Also, I believe I read in one post that Dr. H said he had never been wrong on this forum in assessing someone's HIV risk (with the exception of a guy that didn't disclose his risk factors accurately), and he told you that this incident in particular was not a reason to be tested (I paraphrase).  Believe me, I know it is difficult to do, but you would feel so much better if you get out and do something enjoyable to try and take you mind of all of this.  And please keep us updated so we can celebrate your negative result with you! :)

quiteconcerned

[danielle5247]

Quite,
Thank you so much for comforting me.  I was actually wondering what your case was, i looked for yours on the board but couldnt find it.  But again thank you for being there, its exactly what i need, reassurance.
Danielle

[quiteconcerned]

My question has been put in the archives.  Look under STD-General, and then under the title "what should I be worried about."  Or here is the address: http://www.medhelp.org/forums/STD/messages/2654.html
Hope this helps.:)

quiteconcerned

[danielle5247]

Thanks again,
Im just sick of waiting for this stupid test to come back in, it has almost been two weeks!! The worst two weeks of my life for sure, I am never going through this again.  The worst part is is that i created this for myself.  I have been fine and not worried for the past two years then all of the sudden due to some stupid class and dumb nightmare i have decided that I am dying of HIV. I dont know what else to do.  Guess alls i can do is wait.
Thank you everyone for the support
Danielle

[danielle5247]

Im not even sure if the doctor will be able to answer this question, i know this is a long thread. But i still have not gotten my HIV test back yet but the doctor also did a cbc at the same time as the HIV test.  The cbc is back and is totally normal.  Just wondering if this should ease my mind a little bit....would my complete blood count be a little off if i did by some slim chance have HIV?
Again, if this cant be answered i totally understand, im probably starting to get a little annoying.
Thank you
Danielle

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

The normal CBC doesn't mean much one way or another.

HHH, MD

[danielle5247]

Thank you again Dr. for answering my question.
Well i guess i cant use that to ease my mind until the results come in, which is taking FOREVER.  I wish that i never got that blood work last year when they found out that i had mono again.  If i didnt know that i had had it i would not be worried at all right now.  Hopefully its more common to be diagnosed with mono more than once than it is to be diagnosed with HIV.
A still VERY worried Danielle

[monkeyflower]

Well, I can easily understand why their approach could trigger anxiety for you. But even so, these kinds of classes in general can really trigger health anxieties. I took a disease in history class years ago, and most of us spent the semester thinking we had a series of obscure and usually gruesomely fatal diseases. I think it's a really common phenomenon :-)

I'm so glad you're seeing a therapist; you might also want to consider asking about meds. In the meantime, although I know this won't be particularly reassuring, your risk of contracting HIV is unbelievably low. You have an *incredibly* safe sexual history :-)

[danielle5247]

Thanks monkeyflower,
I am hoping that the results come in today...alls i can do is wait.  Everyone's reassurance has been extremely helpful through this time.
thanks all
Danielle