Welcome to the forum.
There is no chance these two events -- your first partner's abnormal pap and your more recent partner's non-hodgkins lymphoma -- are related to each other. NHL is not caused by HPV or any other sexually transmitted infection
It is likely you had HPV at the time of the first partner's abnormal pap smear, either because you were exposed to her pre-existing infection or, conceivably, or because you were the source of her HPV infection. Either way, you were not responisbile for that problem (i.e. there is nothing you could have done to prevent it). And if you did have HPV back then, you can be quite certain that by now it has cleared up and will never cause a problem for you or your future sex partners.
The business about HPV and throat cancer is has nothing to do with any of this. And no, such cancer cannot be confused with, or turn into, NHL. Here is a thread that goes into detail about HPV and throat cancer -- which, as you will see, remains uncommon despite all the media attention to it:
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/HPV-and-oral-cancer-risk-in-male/show/1181303
I hope this helps. Don't let this situation worry you in the least. Best wishes-- HHH, MD