I can see clearly now, the rain is gone!
Thought for hours and decided to stop the behaviour. Thanks so much! No answer expected.
Robbie
Welcome back to the Forum. You are correct, your concerns are similar to the ones we have interacted about before. As you might expect, the risk has not changed. Receipt of masturbation from another person, ungloved or not is a virtually no risk activity which carries with it no risk of HIV or of other STDs.
As for your question regarding your repetitive cycles of receipt of masturbation followed by worrying, there are two possible approaches. You can decide to stop seeking these kinds of encounters from persons other than your wife or you can work on how to manage the guilt which accompanies this for you. In that it is apparent that you have actively struggled with this in the past, it may be that seeking the help of a counselor or other mental health professional may be needed. Before that will provide you with help however, the first step is to clearly decide what you want to change, your behavior or your guilt. You may need professional help sorting this out as well but, once you have done this, you will then be able to take the next steps towards addressing this situation which creates so much difficulties for you.
As for sex with your wife, there is no reason related to your receipt of masturbation by others to abstain from unprotected sex with her.
I hope this comment will be helpful. EWH