Pls can you help ??

I have been infected with Herpes for possibly 8 months now (genital herpes) recently i have been to a bachelor party in Europe and during a drunken night ended up with an escort, we had protected sex but unprotected oral sex....i performed oral sex on her and vice versa, i had recently had a 2-3 day outbreak a week before the party (all of which dont cause me much of a problem) this is indicated by 3 small red spots on the hood of my penis (the bell end) but they had cleared almost completely...
I am in a relationship (my partner also has Herpes) and i feel so guilty that this happened,i have been stressed and crying for the last several days because of this and it is making  me feel ill. I cannot tell my partner but i am concerned what i could have caught that i could pass on and may have passed onto the escort....i.e could i now have HIV, Syphillis (syphilis), etc?

Please could you help me as i am a wreck at the moment and dont know what to do, i have spoken to my local sex advice clinic but they never seem to know as much as i have read here and always say get tested!..(which i am happy to do if i need to).

Please could you also tell me that this is confidential and no one will call or post my address about this?

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Since you already have genital herpes, you cannot catch it again.  Technically, presuming your preexisting herpes is due to HSV-2, you could have acquired genital HSV-1 infection by oral sex by the escort, but that's really a long shot and really not worth worrying about.  Since your escort exposure was condom-protected, you have no worries about HIV, syphilis, chlamydia, etc; oral sex is very low risk for everything.

Bottom line:  Mellow out; you're at little or no risk for anything.  If in doubt, see your health care provider.

Good luck--  HHH, MD

[BenG]

Hi, I have been following this forum for quite some time and can tell you that the unprotected oral sex could not have given you HIV (as the insertive partner, this is very safe and performing oral sex on her is probably the safest unprotected activity one can do -- not a single reported case of HIV transmission via this route).
The protected intercourse is obviously extremely safe.
I cannot comment about syphlis but I imagine it is also extremely unlikely.
The Dr will respond soon but I just wanted to calm you down a bit in the meantime as I have been in the same state as you!

Ben

[Imdumb]

Relax. Protected vaginal is safe. The only thing a person possibly get would be a low risk for herpes. So you are in the clear there since you already have it. The condom protected you from HIV and everything else. Unprotected oral is safe. I suppose the escort might be in danger of herpes. But you are not at risk for anything except a slim risk of gonnorrea. But that is a very low risk. And if you have gonnorrea, you will know it by symptoms within a few days of exposure. Relax. I bet you are fine.

[idiotparty]

Thanks so much for replying so soon, what symtpoms can i expect if i can contracted gonorrhea and can it be treated easily?? im so worried because of reading about the posiible effects of things like syphillis (syphilis) and other STDs....i have been so so stupid ill never drink ever again! what are the chances that i could have contracted these from what happened?

[Imdumb]

I am not the doctor so when he responds make sure you read his response carefully. Anything I say I have learned by reading what the doc has said and my own research. Obvioulsy I yield to him on all responses. You seemed overly worried so I just wanted you to relax a bit. Gonnorrea would cause a thick discharge from you penis and it would hurt to pee. You would know it if you have it. It is easily treated with antibiotics. Be sure to see what the doc has to say.

[Imdumb]

I am not the doctor so when he responds make sure you read his response carefully. Anything I say I have learned by reading what the doc has said and my own research. Obvioulsy I yield to him on all responses. You seemed overly worried so I just wanted you to relax a bit. Gonnorrea would cause a thick discharge from you penis and it would hurt to pee. You would know it if you have it. It is easily treated with antibiotics. Be sure to see what the doc has to say.

[idiotparty]

Having read recent posts im concerned now that if i could have contracted gonnorhea (Gonorrhea) that my partner would know that i had been with someone else, i cant let this happen as my life, my relationship with her means everything to me......im sorry i guess ill have to wait 3 -5 days to know this?

[Imdumb]

Please relax. I did not mean to worry you. I only meant that gonnorrea is the only thing even POSSIBLE. And getting that from oral is not common at all. The odds you would have gotten it are close to zero. All sex has risks - and yours was very safe. I would be shocked if you got gonnorrea from that. The doc will answer soon I am sure and I am sorry if I added to your worry. I was only trying to help.

[idiotparty]

I know I'm sorry thankyou for helping me I really really appreciate it. . do u know how long it takes for a response and if the doc may suggest being tested for std's judging by my experiences? thanks so much

[idiotparty]

I know I'm sorry thankyou for helping me I really really appreciate it. . do u know how long it takes for a response and if the doc may suggest being tested for std's judging by my experiences? thanks so much

[Imdumb]

He rarely take longer than a day to respond. Usually much faster. I don't know where you live but probably at the latest it would be 6 AM pacific time. But most likely it would be by this evening (pacific time). He is a busy man but often he takes time out of the day to answer posts. Again please relax, you risk was very very low.

[idiotparty]

I just wanted to add also that does it make any difference that both parties shave there genitals?
I know that during the sex 3 condoms were used so everything i hope was safe from that perspective, i didnt think to check them afterwards just threw them away....i feel so stupid now, i should have checked they had not split or anything but i gues im just feeling anxious now and thinking of all the posibilities and all this because of drink!.....im really nervous about possibly having to tell my partner if i have contacted something life threatening, i really cannot tell her this happened it would mean the end us for sure. :O(

[idiotparty]

hi will the doc reply here? I seem to have lost the password to the e-mail address that I gave when I paid $10 to post my question? I'm checking here every few hours . .

[idiotparty]

Thankyou so much for replying so soon, I understand what u have explained but would it be wise me getting tested anyway or do u think I'm over reacting? if so how long til I can be tested?
I think I'm confused about what I could get from having had or given oral? I guess I'm worried about getting ill and or passing anything on . . I'm almost 100% that no condoms broke . . I'm so sorry to have taken so much of everyones time but I want to be certain I'm ok . . so sorry :o(

[Imdumb]

Re-read the docs post and also do some reading in the archives. Your risk is too low have a realistic chance of getting anything or get tested. The only reason to get tested I'd if you can't mentally get past worrying about it. You are fine.

[idiotparty]

Thanks imbumb, i think i will get tested but i want to be sure i get tested for eveything. I believe syphillis (syphilis) can take 3months to show? was i at considerable risk to this to warrant tests? i know i can get tested for gon,chlam,herp after 9 days or so?. It has been about a week now and i have no signs of discharge etc but i know that gon can take up to 30?.
If a condom did break during sex with an HIV infected person what are the chances that you would become infected, i know there was deep kissing.
Im really sorry to take your time

[idiotparty]

I have had a recent stomach upset and am slightly worried, what are the symptoms of hiv would it cause stomach upset so soon, I'm taking medication that has this as a side effect but I'm more worried about my recent encounter with the escort? she said she is tested and sees the doc every three weeks but who knows! I'm worried about hiv or syphills