Possible exposure, risks

Three nights ago, after many years of sexually inactivity, I had sexual intercourse using a condom with my new boyfriend.  I also performed a small amount of oral sex.

Yesterday, his ex-wife called to tell him that she had an abnormal pap-smear and HPV was the likely culprit.  We are pretty sure he is HPV positive.  

There have been no instances of genital warts for this gentleman or his previous sex partners, so can I assume that he is infected with one of the cancer high-risk strains and not one of the wart varieties?

At this point, what are my risks?  I know that condoms do not completely prevent the transmission of HPV.  Should I assume that I have been vaginally infected?  

What about an oral infection?  Older literature says that oral transmission is rare, but I am a speech-language pathologist who works with voice disorders and have seen PLENTY of cases of oral/pharyngeal/laryngeal transimission, although I know I am not seeing a representative sample.  

What are my risks of developing oral cancer?  I have oral herpes that is well under control with Valtrex.  I do not drink or smoke.

How can I safely have a sexual relationship with this man? with future partners?

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

HPV infection is a compex issue; it would take a couple pages to adequately answer all your questions.  Please go to the "STD Quick Facts and Articles" link on the STD Forum page, look up the information on HPV, then come back with questions that aren't answered there.  But the bottom line is that you probably have already been infected with HPV anyway (80% of us get it at one time or another); the types that cause abnormal paps generally are different than the HPV types that cause genital warts; neither you nor your partner is likely to ever have symptoms; and don't worry about oral infection.

Getting HPV is normal.  Your risk is trivial, but all women should get Pap smears anyway.  Don't lose any sleep over this.  Let me know if you still have questions after reading more about HPV.

Good luck--  HHH, MD