From your description, I certainly would have thought you had herpes. But it's not the only thing that can cause such symptoms. A chemical or allergic reaction to something (lubricant?), other non-sexually transmitted viruses, rare STDs (syphilis, chancroid), and various other problems could be responsible. You are a poster child for the reason for people with suspected herpes or other STDs to avoid self-diagnosis and see a health professional! And if you did have (or do have) herpes, you need to know the virus type; whether you have HSV-1 or HSV-2 makes a tremendous difference in frequency of outbreaks, the risk of transmission to partners, treatment, and counseling.
Having said all that, false negative blood tests can occur. But they are uncommon, and my bet is that you don't have herpes. But I really don't know. Certainly your current symptoms don't sound like herpes, and indeed might be 'psychosomatic'. (Whenever someone thinks his or her symptoms might have a psychological origin, s/he probably is right most of the time.)
I suggest you have one more HerpeSelect test in a few months, i.e. about a year after the initial event. If that also is negative, I think you can be confident you don't have genital herpes and never did. In the meantime, if 'real' symptoms of herpes reappear--i.e., genital area blister-like lesions or other sores--see a health care provider immediately, within 1-2 days of onset, to test the lesions for HSV.
Good luck-- HHH, MD