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Received Oral Sex - 10 Days and Counting
Hello,
I am a male in my early twenties, moderately healthy, with a long-distance relationship. Ten days ago, after a night of too much drinking, I mistakenly went home with a girl who has had a sizable sexual past (25 partners vs me, 1 partner). After some medium french-kissing and rubbing of our clothed genitals, I received oral sex for approximately 1 to 1.5 mins before I stopped her.
I was and now am still worried about having acquired an STD. While I have not shown any outbreak signs or discomfort urinating or ejaculating since then, I am still worried that I may have contracted something, anything.
I plan on being sexually active with my loved one in five days and worry about retransmission, particularly during oral sex. We will use condoms for all intercourse, but not for oral sex (both giving and receiving).
Am I at risk? Is she at risk? Is it necessary to test for an STD? Is it too soon to tell?
Please help. I am willing to spend the money for a next-day STD test, but that is useless if it is too soon. I worry primarily about virus-based STDs (incurable), but still worry about them all.
Ashamed, worried,
-minime
I am a male in my early twenties, moderately healthy, with a long-distance relationship. Ten days ago, after a night of too much drinking, I mistakenly went home with a girl who has had a sizable sexual past (25 partners vs me, 1 partner). After some medium french-kissing and rubbing of our clothed genitals, I received oral sex for approximately 1 to 1.5 mins before I stopped her.
I was and now am still worried about having acquired an STD. While I have not shown any outbreak signs or discomfort urinating or ejaculating since then, I am still worried that I may have contracted something, anything.
I plan on being sexually active with my loved one in five days and worry about retransmission, particularly during oral sex. We will use condoms for all intercourse, but not for oral sex (both giving and receiving).
Am I at risk? Is she at risk? Is it necessary to test for an STD? Is it too soon to tell?
Please help. I am willing to spend the money for a next-day STD test, but that is useless if it is too soon. I worry primarily about virus-based STDs (incurable), but still worry about them all.
Ashamed, worried,
-minime
Thank you for the answer.
Hi,
I think in your case it doesn't matter, since you already got a negative HIV result, didn't you?
The cases where alcohol caused an increase in hiv risk during oral sex all involved gay men, and probably entailed *** splattering the sucking partner's gums. Even so, remember that fellatio between men is still an extremely rare route of transmission, and cunnilingus is always much less than fellatio, so the alcohol (I would guess) would pose an insignificant factor in your case. Even though woman secrete vaginal fluids, the fluids don't shoot in thick gobs, the way men's semen does...
But this looks like a question for Dr. H, since I'm just guessing from the little I know, as a non-doctor researching safe sex methods for myself. You may want to look up the study about alcohol and oral sex so you can look at the specifics in more detail.
Best of luck,
J
I think in your case it doesn't matter, since you already got a negative HIV result, didn't you?
The cases where alcohol caused an increase in hiv risk during oral sex all involved gay men, and probably entailed *** splattering the sucking partner's gums. Even so, remember that fellatio between men is still an extremely rare route of transmission, and cunnilingus is always much less than fellatio, so the alcohol (I would guess) would pose an insignificant factor in your case. Even though woman secrete vaginal fluids, the fluids don't shoot in thick gobs, the way men's semen does...
But this looks like a question for Dr. H, since I'm just guessing from the little I know, as a non-doctor researching safe sex methods for myself. You may want to look up the study about alcohol and oral sex so you can look at the specifics in more detail.
Best of luck,
J
I ve just read your comment about the beer increasing chances of HIV via oral. Do you think that half of glass (literally 150ml) 20mins prior to performing cunnilingus (when I was salivating like a dog actually) could really have any effect?
Ok, thanks for all of the information.
If Minime had poured alcohol (say 20%) on his penis (and inside the tip) after ejaculation would that have helped or hurt his chances of contracting hiv.
SCPG
SCPG
Hi,
This sounds like a question for Doctor H... I'm just guessing from his answers to other threads as well as things I got in my research about HIV and oral sex:
-I'm guessing that Dr. H would say that since there is almost no risk involved with receiving oral (getting sucked off), the alcohol can't change the risk in any direction. It's like multiplying or dividing zero, or an extremely small number.
-One thing that's interesting is the recent research about alcohol and oral sex, in terms of the impact it has on the risk for the person who's sucking. Some of these things you may be able to find online:
*One study found that the level of alcohol in beer (much lower than isopropyl) increases the risk of HIV transmission in the one sucking by about 6 times. This article, you can find on http://www.gay.com, if you browse through their articles about hiv. It was a really important study for gays & bis because so many of us want to do oral and avoid anal. If the risk is higher by 6 times for the one sucking, then I guess it's feasible that there might actually be an increase in risk for the one getting sucked. The reason for the increase in risk is, if I understand correctly, that alcohol dries out the mouth and negates the blocking power of saliva. It also does such a good job of killing certain cells that it destroys some normal cells that line the mouth, thereby giving hiv (which it doesn't kill) an entry into the gums. Since there is some vulnerable tissue on the tip of the penis, then it's worth asking Doctor H if alcohol can make that area vulnerable, in the same way that it weakens the mouth.... but this is past my limits of knowledge.
*I found varying beliefs about the usefulness of rinsing the mouth with mouthwash before or after oral sex. The idea used to be that the alcohol in mouthwash would kill the hiv. So for a while, a lot of gay men would gargle with mouthwash before and after sucking someone off; there were even sex parties in San Francisco with massive coolers full of alcohol-containing mouthwash. But then, after some cases of oral transmission (from the one getting sucked to the one sucking) were found in San Francisco, I noticed that some experts said that mouthwash and its alcohol content might actually have the opposite effect. The alcohol might destroy normal gum tissue and dry up saliva, both of which are key parts in guarding the mouth against the virus.
Again, you might want to ask Dr. H about this, since I'm fumbling around with layman's information. I'm guessing that you're straight, but on topics of HIV and oral sex, gay male health services are way ahead with this kind of information. So you could benefit a lot from going to things like HIVInSite, which is based in San Fran and has a website, as well as Ask Dr. K, a web service on gay.com.
J
This sounds like a question for Doctor H... I'm just guessing from his answers to other threads as well as things I got in my research about HIV and oral sex:
-I'm guessing that Dr. H would say that since there is almost no risk involved with receiving oral (getting sucked off), the alcohol can't change the risk in any direction. It's like multiplying or dividing zero, or an extremely small number.
-One thing that's interesting is the recent research about alcohol and oral sex, in terms of the impact it has on the risk for the person who's sucking. Some of these things you may be able to find online:
*One study found that the level of alcohol in beer (much lower than isopropyl) increases the risk of HIV transmission in the one sucking by about 6 times. This article, you can find on http://www.gay.com, if you browse through their articles about hiv. It was a really important study for gays & bis because so many of us want to do oral and avoid anal. If the risk is higher by 6 times for the one sucking, then I guess it's feasible that there might actually be an increase in risk for the one getting sucked. The reason for the increase in risk is, if I understand correctly, that alcohol dries out the mouth and negates the blocking power of saliva. It also does such a good job of killing certain cells that it destroys some normal cells that line the mouth, thereby giving hiv (which it doesn't kill) an entry into the gums. Since there is some vulnerable tissue on the tip of the penis, then it's worth asking Doctor H if alcohol can make that area vulnerable, in the same way that it weakens the mouth.... but this is past my limits of knowledge.
*I found varying beliefs about the usefulness of rinsing the mouth with mouthwash before or after oral sex. The idea used to be that the alcohol in mouthwash would kill the hiv. So for a while, a lot of gay men would gargle with mouthwash before and after sucking someone off; there were even sex parties in San Francisco with massive coolers full of alcohol-containing mouthwash. But then, after some cases of oral transmission (from the one getting sucked to the one sucking) were found in San Francisco, I noticed that some experts said that mouthwash and its alcohol content might actually have the opposite effect. The alcohol might destroy normal gum tissue and dry up saliva, both of which are key parts in guarding the mouth against the virus.
Again, you might want to ask Dr. H about this, since I'm fumbling around with layman's information. I'm guessing that you're straight, but on topics of HIV and oral sex, gay male health services are way ahead with this kind of information. So you could benefit a lot from going to things like HIVInSite, which is based in San Fran and has a website, as well as Ask Dr. K, a web service on gay.com.
J
You didn't screw anything up, you did the right thing. It sounds like she wanted it more than you did anyway (didn't you say you stopped her?). Probably sour grapes. Just get checked up anyway for good measure.
J
J
Hello Dr.,
You mentioned that in mini-me's case, he was not at risk in terms of hiv infection. What if the woman who gave him oral sex had had a cold sore? Would that change anything?
You mentioned that in mini-me's case, he was not at risk in terms of hiv infection. What if the woman who gave him oral sex had had a cold sore? Would that change anything?
I had the nerve yesterday to confront the girl who gave me oral sex . She said she was clean as a whistle and called me an *******.
Isn't life awful? Why on earth did I screw this all up.
Thanks for the discussion and advice.
-minime
Isn't life awful? Why on earth did I screw this all up.
Thanks for the discussion and advice.
-minime
Hi,
I don't know if the doc is going to be able to answer your question, but your situation has come up before in other threads. Usually what Dr. H says is that the cold sore theoretically increases the risk, but the risk is so low to begin with that the small increase doesn't matter. It's like having a 1 in 5 million chance versus a 1 in 2 million, or something like that. He's said many times that they've never found a case of someone getting HIV from getting sucked or by performing oral sex on a woman (eating her out) -- there are only cases of people gettig HIV thru oral sex from sucking a man off; and even those cases are pretty rare.
J
I don't know if the doc is going to be able to answer your question, but your situation has come up before in other threads. Usually what Dr. H says is that the cold sore theoretically increases the risk, but the risk is so low to begin with that the small increase doesn't matter. It's like having a 1 in 5 million chance versus a 1 in 2 million, or something like that. He's said many times that they've never found a case of someone getting HIV from getting sucked or by performing oral sex on a woman (eating her out) -- there are only cases of people gettig HIV thru oral sex from sucking a man off; and even those cases are pretty rare.
J
Hi,
Sounds like a good plan. There's no way you have HIV, but there are other things you could have caught, and 15 days afterward is an awkward phase, possibly infectious. One visit without oral sex might be disappointing, but it's better than being worried sick.
J
Sounds like a good plan. There's no way you have HIV, but there are other things you could have caught, and 15 days afterward is an awkward phase, possibly infectious. One visit without oral sex might be disappointing, but it's better than being worried sick.
J
Hi,
I have been completely honest with you guys. I guess I am freaking out because this is the second person I have had any form of sexual contact with.
My girlfriend and I don't use condoms during oral sex. I'll have to abstain from receiving unprotected oral.
-minime
I have been completely honest with you guys. I guess I am freaking out because this is the second person I have had any form of sexual contact with.
My girlfriend and I don't use condoms during oral sex. I'll have to abstain from receiving unprotected oral.
-minime
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Yes, I was aware that is your concern. If you acquired an STD, your partner will be at risk. For gonorrhea, there is at about a 50% chance of transmission each time you have unprotected sex. But I reiterate the risk you caught gonorrhea or anything else is bery low.
HHH, MD
HHH, MD
Hi,
I can speak to the HIV oral risk issue, since that's what I know about. Let's say that you felt uncomfortable telling the whole story about your encounter on this website, and you really had had a much riskier exposure than only oral sex. If that were the case, and you did have HIV, then you would pose a HIGH risk to your girlfriend at this time, because you are most infectious during the "window period" when you don't have antibodies yet and HIV is running rampant through your body unchecked. Not on this website, but on a different one, I read that some HIV researchers believe that most HIV transmissions occur within the 2-3 months after a recent infection, because during that time, HIV tests turn up a false negative and coincidentally the person is more infectious than ever.
At 15 days after an HIV infection, you would be highly dangerous and you probably wouldn't want even the small risk of giving her the virus by letting her suck you off.
But if you really only got 1-2 minutes of head from a woman who's had 25 partners (that's no big deal, btw, lots of us gay/bi men have had over 100 partners and are still negative), then your risk is zero, because nobody has ever gotten HIV by getting head; you only get HIV by giving head and even then, it's rare. Your zero risk is then compounded with the fact that you use condoms with your girlfriend and she gives you head, which is very low risk. If it makes you feel better, don't let her give you head and you can just eat her out, or else make sure you don't come in her mouth. But the doc will probably tell you just to chill out.
J
I can speak to the HIV oral risk issue, since that's what I know about. Let's say that you felt uncomfortable telling the whole story about your encounter on this website, and you really had had a much riskier exposure than only oral sex. If that were the case, and you did have HIV, then you would pose a HIGH risk to your girlfriend at this time, because you are most infectious during the "window period" when you don't have antibodies yet and HIV is running rampant through your body unchecked. Not on this website, but on a different one, I read that some HIV researchers believe that most HIV transmissions occur within the 2-3 months after a recent infection, because during that time, HIV tests turn up a false negative and coincidentally the person is more infectious than ever.
At 15 days after an HIV infection, you would be highly dangerous and you probably wouldn't want even the small risk of giving her the virus by letting her suck you off.
But if you really only got 1-2 minutes of head from a woman who's had 25 partners (that's no big deal, btw, lots of us gay/bi men have had over 100 partners and are still negative), then your risk is zero, because nobody has ever gotten HIV by getting head; you only get HIV by giving head and even then, it's rare. Your zero risk is then compounded with the fact that you use condoms with your girlfriend and she gives you head, which is very low risk. If it makes you feel better, don't let her give you head and you can just eat her out, or else make sure you don't come in her mouth. But the doc will probably tell you just to chill out.
J
Thank you for the reassurance. My primary concern is the likelihood of transmission to my partner via receiving and giving oral sex two weeks after the incident. IF I contracted any of those diseases, and have not seen symptoms, what is her risk?
Hi, i am not a doctor but until he can answer i may be able to help from his past advice. Your chance of picking up HIV from oral is near to zero,gonnorhea is low risk as is chlamydia.if you wanted to test 2 weeks is long enough for gonnorhea and chlamydia and official recommendations for hiv is 3 months but the doc has pointed out before that 6 weeks is long enough. the chances of you aquiring an std is so low that it's not worth worrying about unless you had unprotected vaginal sex but if it would ease your mind then get tested.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
The risk of STD transmission from mouth to penis by a single episode of fellatio is very low, perhaps especially with the fairly brief exposure you had. The highest risk of a significant STD is for gonorrhea, but even that is a long shot. That's also the only only STD that could be tested for within 5 days. Chlamydia is rarely if ever acquired by fellatio. Herpes is a theoretical possibility. HIV is not. If you have had not symptoms before you have sex with your regular partner, you can safely consider yourself home free. For more detail on all this, search the forum for "STD risk from oral sex", "fellatio", "STD anxiety"--and the same terms with "HIV" instead of "STD".
Good luck-- HHH, MD
Good luck-- HHH, MD
You are reading content posted in the STDs Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
