Recent visit to massage parlor

[GuiltRidden]

I was extremely stupid, and visited a message parlor 3 weeks ago. I didn't know what exactly to expect since I had only been to one other parlor in my life, which was 12+ years ago. It ended up that I kissed the woman briefly (30 seconds maybe) both open and closed mouth. I also rubbed her genitals with my hand. She performed unprotected oral sex on me (for maybe a couple of minutes altogether), and she tried to have intercourse, but I would not let her. There was NO insertion whatsoever, but she was on top of me naked, and our genitals rubbed (touched) together some (for maybe a minute or two). She then climbed off of me, and finished with her hand. I walked out and immediately couldn't believe that things had gotten that out of control. Since then I've been overwhelmingly concerned about what I might have exposed myself (and unsuspecting wife) to. Two days after the experience, I went to see a doctor. He told me that I was at very low risk for STD's and HIV, but I went ahead and got tested for Chlamydia and Gonorreah anyway since I am married and have a family. He said I should be more worried about my mental health since I almost broke down in his office. I took preventive antibiotics, and the tests came back negative. I haven't had any other physical concerns (burning, redness, bumps, discharge, etc) since the episode, but am racked with guilt and self-loathing. I am planning to start counceling to work through it, but how worried should I be about HIV and any other STD's? I find myself everyday going back and forth between convincing myself that the risk was low, and feeling terrified that I contracted something.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

The doctor you saw was entirely correct, both about the STD risk and his concern for your mental health.  I have little to add.  There has never been a proved case of HIV by receiving fellatio, and the other STDs generally would have caused symptoms you would have noticed.  The negative gonorrhea and chlamydia tests are further reassurance, as is the antibiotic treatment you received (but didn't need).

You clearly are transposing guilt over your sexual experience to an unrealistically elevated concern about HIV and STD.  I endorse your intent to seek counseling.

Good luck--  HHH, MD

[Imdumb]

I understand.  I had a similar experience.  Rest assured you are fine physically.  The oral was very low risk for gonorrhea, and your test and lack of symptoms prove you didn't get it.  That is really the only thing that you could get and the risk of that is very low.  No chance of HIV.  The other things you did did not put you at risk.

Your Dr. is right, it is your mental health that you need to deal with.  You need to somehow forgive yourself and move on.  Chalk it up to one of life's learning experiences.  Don't beat yourself up.  It happens.

[GuiltRidden]

Thank you so much for putting my mind more at ease. This has been an event in which I have needed to hear these responses from several people to help alleviate my anguish. I am definately moving forward with counceling, and I appreciate you taking the time to respond.

So, would you suggest that I not get tested for HIV, Hepatitis, Syphalis (sp?) etc. in 3 months? I had been thinking about it just to make sure, but also really want to get on with putting this behind me, so if you don't think it's necessary, then that would be one lest thing for me to have to re-live in a few months.

[wheretogonow]

Not to fuel the concern but what about the chances of picking up HPV and or warts given the genital to genital rubbing?

It has been mentioned more than once in the past on this board that insertive sex is not necesaary for transmissions of HPV.

Thoughts?

[GuiltRidden]

Since this experience, I have been searching the internet for answers to many of my questions, and HPV is one. I think I read somewhere (maybe on this forum) that if you have had the oral non-sexual version of herpes (which I have) it makes you less likely to contract it sexually. Is that correct?

[Englishman]

Slim chance. No test he can have for HPV anyway, a doctor will diagnose and treat warts if they appear. Chances are very very very tiny. Even then it might not be due to the event he mentioned. I would'nt worry about it.