SO PETRIFIED I HAVE HIV< PLEASE HELP

Dear Doc-

  I have been reading your forum and the archives and I know there are many similar questions to mine, but would you please please please answer mine, I beg you, Im so scared right now

13 days ago I had way way way too much to drink and ended up having a few min of unprotected sex with someone I met at the bar (Im female, he was a caucasion male from ireland). Once I realized how stupid I was being I stopped everything, but I am still so scared I contracted HIV. He didnt ejaculate, but I dont know if there was or was not any pre-***. How likely is it that I could contract HIV from pre-*** alone? I felt perhaps a tiny bit sore the next day but there were no lesions i could tell of in or around my vagina. Im also really scared because I was having my period at the time , is it more likely i could get HIV during my period? I had my tampon in too during sex, does that increase my risk?
at day 8 I started feeling like my throat was thick, not sore, but thick, and now at day 13 I have swollen tonsils, oddly enough my throat itself doesnt hurt, but my ears feel very stuffed up, and my tonsils are swollen.  I cant tell if any lymph nodes in my neck are swollen, but I dont believe they are anywhere else on my body, Im so so scared all this means im seroconverting. I havent had any fever, no rashes, I feel fine energy wise, I have felt a bit dizy at times with a lack of appetite, but that could be anxiety.  Ive also been constantly "checking" myself since what happened for a sore throat and swollen glands, but I know i cant GIVE myself them, i had to get it somewhere, and i never get sick usually.
Would you please give me your honest opinion and tell me what you think, I am DYING from fear. For it matters (prob not much, since who knows if he was telling the truth), but the guy told me that he had been tested for STDS and HIV in may and was neg. and was still neg. at the time of our incident.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, respond to my question and let me know what you think, and thank you so much, im  beyond freaking out.
Thank you so much , Im so freaked out.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

You are a better judge than I am as to whether your partner might have been at high risk for carrying HIV.  If he hasn't had sex with men, hasn't been an injection drug users, and hasn't traveled extensively (and had sex) in places like Africa, India, and other areas with especially high rates of HIV infection, it is pretty unlikely he is infected.  Second, most people who have HIV or STDs do not lie to their partners about it; like all generalities, of course there are exceptions.  I can't judge these things about this particular, espeically whether he seemed truthful or evasive when talking about not being infected.  But from a purely statistical probability standpoint, it is unlikely he has HIV.

If he has HIV, the risk of transmission from any single episode of vaginal intercourse is low.  The 1 in 1000 figure is used a lot, by me and others, but it varies widely:  Higher than otherwise if he is uncircumsized or if either of you also has another STD, lower if has chronic HIV infection or is taking antiretroviral therapy, higher if he just recently acquired HIV, and so on.

Your symptoms are consistent with HIV (and I do not believe they are caused primarily by your anxiety), but they also are typical of many other conditions, all of which are more likely than HIV.

So I will be very surprised if you have HIV, but the only way to know for sure is to be tested.  It's a little early to get tested now for HIV, but you don't have to wait all that long; even a 3 week test is sufficient to be quite reassuring (80-90% will be positive by then).  I suggest you do it; the negative result probably will be more reassuring than my words.  To be even more certain, you can get tested at 4-6 weeks.  (The official advice is 3 months, but it's very rare for test positivity to be delayed beyond 6 weeks.)

I know it's easier for me to say than for you to feel, but I really wouldn't worry about it very much.

Best wishes--  HHH, MD

[bostondude]

if you read alot of the respones, contracting HIV from one experience with someone is 1 in a 1000, but dont beat yourself up over whether or not your positive or negative because i did that for 5 months and actually got tested today. the results showed up 25 minutes later and even though the wait seems like an eternity it is alot better than letting the fear of not knowing drag on.

[happynkentucky2005]

That 1 in 1000 if the person is hiv positive. But that number might be for a man I'm not sure if the same number holds true for a woman,maybe the Doc does. I think you can be tested at 20 days and get a 70-80% reliable test after that 4weeks will tell you for sure.

[worriedfella05]

I am in the same exact boat as you.  I am a young, white male who had unprotected sex with a young, white woman approximately 5 days ago.  I have the SAME EXACT symptoms as you.  However, because we are both totally shaken by our incidents..... and the chances that we both contracted HIV so low..... your posting relaxes me.... and makes me think that all these symptoms are attributable to extreme anxiety.  

However, I am calmly yet so anxiously awaiting the Doctor's response to your thread.  Let's see what he says.

[scared_to_death]

thanks doc, i feel a bit better. Its two weeks to the day now, and it seems my symptoms are better, my ears dont hurt, def dont have any fever, or anything else, my tonsils throat are still a bit sore, but look a bit less inflammed. Would it be consistent with ARS symptoms to only have a sore throat/and for it to be better by the two week mark of possible infection?

Thank you SO SO much for everything,