I am a 25 year old male student. I recently had sex with a classmate. We have not known each other long but became intimate quickly - the stress of exams seemed to impair our resistance.
I insisted we go for an HIV/AIDS test before we had coitus. She was not hesitant in this idea. The tests came back negative for both of us.
On the day we engaged in sexual intercourse I asked her if she had any other STDs (having myself become nervous for the first time of this idea of intimacy ahead of me), to which she replied "none that I know of". The response was not comforting but by this stage I would have felt more awkward to not go through with the engagement as then it would have clearly been disrespectful and insinuate I thought otherwise (regarding her STD status).
During the sexual engagement we had protected vagnal sex in the sense of my using a a male condom twice that afternoon. Also we engaged in unprotected fellatio in the sense of having no condom or other barrier during this oral engagement.
After sex I noticed on the outside of the condom that there was a yellowish (maybe brownish or greenish yellow) discharge which seemed to gather at a particular side of the condom with a clear epicenter in a circular shape. There was also some of this discharge on the bed. In the moment this did not bother me as I thought it was probably normal female bodily secretion or even (although controversial still) female ejaculate.
After the engagement she made me feel very uncomfortable as she, an older woman (around 30), began to disclose her rather extensive sexual history. She appears to have played it safe though, (based on her having condoms) but it was still me who insisted on the HIV/AIDS testing, something she would not have done she admitted. She also cel early has not been for any regular STD testing as her comment on having any STDs earlier reveals. So she maybe hasn't played it as safe as she could. Also if of interest, she initiated this sexual process very strongly (for which otherwise I tend to be celibate).
It has been 4 days past sinc this engagement, but I have been filled with doubt of my deed. I realise I should not have allowed myself to allow her to give me unprotected fellatio. I also realise an HIV/AIDS test was not enough as I am now filled with anxiety of the risks of other STDs. But i was weak in the moment given the stresses of the encounter. Please can you help assist me in objectively considering my risks of infection and the severity thereof.
I plan to get tested as well, but want to know (1) what tests I should be having, (2) when to have them, and (3) what really are the risks and (4) the severity of these risks that I should be facing. I ask these all as I see I'm allowing myself to get emotionally consumed in my anxiety which is highly subjective and probably being escalated by other factors of guilt and feelings of being "used".
I have shown no symptoms I can clearly objectively make me suspect an STD.
* However tonight while defecating I also urinated, during which a relatively clear slightly yellow discharge came out of my penis while urinating because of the bowel movement. I suspect the yellowish tinge was more from my urine which is very yellow as I am taking lots of vitamins for exams.
*Also I have had some bad stomach cramps or aches today which was cause for the extra bowel movement this evening.
*I also have a itchy rather pinkish rash on my scrotum. I did have a small rash like this before intercourse, but it seems worse since intercourse as it was to previously not itchy and not nearly as spread. I tend to get mild eczema and so have quite often in the past had this experience of a rash with itching on my scrotum however. It is possible that i have some allergy causing it. Hence why alone I would not think of an STD. But with the other noted issues above and the unprotected fellatio perhaps I'm kidding myself.
Thank so much in advance for you time in helping me. These issues are so difficult to talk about with the quick stigma attached to it, and I appreciate a forum like this to give some objective and helpful advice and/or assistance, as without it I have no one to talk to about it.
To clarify on the female discharge. The substance win yellowish (greenish or brownish yellow). It was on the condom and already dry dry and looked almost flaky. It was centred in a particular point on the one side of the condom. Some of this dicharge was also on the bed.
Hi and welcome. Unprotected oral sex is low risk for contracting STD,s and many experts consider it safe sex.
Normally no testing is recommended without symptoms like a discharge or burning while urinating unless there there is a long time partner your concerned about, but in your case i would recommend testing to clear your mind only so your can study at school as i can tell this is really bothering you and you have an intellectual mind who thinks alot about possibilities..
Testing times post exposure below:
Sample Required Possible Detection Most Likely Detection Highest Accuracy Detection
Chlamydia Urine Within first week 2 weeks 4 weeks
Gonorrhea Urine Within first week 1-2 weeks 2-3 weeks
Herpes 1+2 Blood 3 weeks 4-6 weeks 6-12 weeks
HIV Antibody Test Blood 3 weeks 4-6 weeks 12 weeks
HIV Early Detection Test Blood 1-2 weeks 3 weeks 3-4 weeks
Syphilis Blood 1-2 weeks 6 weeks 12 weeks
Thank you so much for your prompt response. I appreciate the time you've taken.
This is comforting to hear in the meantime and will help me better focus on my studies till I can have a sexual health checkup.
Thank you again
the discharge you saw on the condom doesn't sound worrisome at all.
your own discharge also doesn't sound remotely worrisome either since it only occurred with a bowel movement.
we don't recommend routine std testing from giving and receiving oral sex. if you really need the peace of mind - remember that you need to have both urine and oral swabs sent since you both gave and received oral. you don't need any hiv testing done. you weren't at risk for hiv plus you both tested negative for it prior to your encounter. protected vaginal sex is a very small risk for syphilis, herpes and hpv. if you need the peace of mind, you can test for syphilis after 6 weeks and herpes after 3 months. we don't have commercially available tests to properly cover your hpv testing bases.
is this encounter worth any testing from? no it is not.
I appreciate the response. I feel more calm and rational about the event. Was a wonderful experience and was probably for the most part allowing indoctrinated negative stigmas from sexual health education from teachers at school and scoietal stigmas inform my irrationality, making me attach negative connotations to sex as beimg "dirty" etc. Hence I felt by the act itself I had to have in a way "dirtied" myself. This is dangerous thinking and shows how stigmas can hit you when you didn't realise they were there.
I think I understand this is a low risk event and I without symptoms would probably not typically be advised for tests. But given the rarity of asymptomatic infection I believe I should in prudence go for a general health check up with testing in next two weeks. I think this especially important to set a precedent of caution and to ensure safety for a future partner, if any.
Thank you so much for the response. Appreciate this forum so much!
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