STD fear from massage parlour

[zaza12]

Hey everyone, I visited a massage parlour 3 weeks ago and am worried I may have contracted an STD. There was brief unprotected intercourse and unprotected oral for several minutes. Im developing a flu like virus but I live in Toronto, Canada and have had a lingering cold for a while, but im still worried as this is a symptom of HIV. Im getting tested in 5 weeks but the anxiety is getting to me. Anyone have any input or advice? (this is a continuation from the previous question i posted)

[auntiejessi]

As already discussed in your other thread, the chances of you getting HIV from a woman are slim, even if she is infected.  I'd guess its just winter in Canada.  

AJ

[zaza12]

Alright cool. I have a stuffed up nose and sore throat/cough but no headache so i dont think thats the sickness you get with HIV, because it describes headaches and what not as well and I dont have those.

If the masseuse dealt with a client a few days before me or something, unprotected, and that client happened to have HIV or another STD, are the risks of me getting it significantly increased because she dealt with me so soon after?

[auntiejessi]

It might be a little higher, but its really more about biology and how men are built vs women.  Its just harder for a man to get something into his urethra (not impossible, obviously) than it is for a woman.

Aj

[zaza12]

Alright great. im gonna go to an anonamous STD clinic downtown since im down here for school and i'll see what they say.

[zaza12]

I talked to my epidemiology prof just now and he said getting ill 3 weeks after possible infection doesnt indicate you have it and he said usually a few months possible years is when you can show signs. I read a lot of stuff online and a lot of sites say within 2-4 weeks you usually get sick. Which one is it. I know symptoms either way arent indicative of an infection but perhaps knowing which one can put my mind at ease slightly for another few weeks until the test. I have a runny nose and sore throat and a bit of phlegm and not a dry cough. Probably just a cold

[auntiejessi]

What the sites say that is IF you get symptoms, it would be within 2-4 weeks, but most people don't get sick.

It is cold and flu season.  I'd bet big money that's what you have.

Aj

[zaza12]

Thats true. I had this similar thing just last month so would i be able to get it again so soon? Im in areas close to people all day so if other people are sick i can easily get it from them (subway, lecture halls, downtown in general)

[auntiejessi]

No, you wouldn't get it again.

Everyone is sick now - my guess is that you are just one of them with a cold or the flu.

Aj

[zaza12]

Yeah i have a lot of mucus and not really a fever just all stuffed up, i read somewhere that if you get the flu with an HIV infection its usually a dry cough and high fever and that isnt really what I have so am i safe

[auntiejessi]

Well, I can't say you don't have HIV - only tests can say that - but I can say that this sounds like a cold.

I'm confused - did you get some testing done?  When do you get the results?

Aj

[zaza12]

No i didnt get the testing done, its only been 3 weeks i still got about a month to go. These questions are just to put my mind at ease as well as my anxiety.

[zaza12]

Hey im over my flu now, it only lasted a few days (3-4) is that indicative or something or just a very minor illness?

[auntiejessi]

Again - its just a regular old virus.

Aj

[zaza12]

Hey for the past few days my back and lower body have been very sore, my neck as well. I get this a lot too but it hasnt been going away. I saw that muscle and joint aches can be a symptom for some stuff but again just a coincidence?

[auntiejessi]

I'm not answering any more questions until you follow up with your doctor.  ;)

Seriously, you have something going on, nothing by itself sounds like an std, and you need to see your doctor.  I don't know how else to say it, and I am sure I am just feeding into your anxieties by keeping this going for so long.

I'm really concerned that you have something going on with kidneys or urinary tract, and you aren't doing anything about it.

You've been treated for stds, right?  It can't be that.

Aj

[zaza12]

haha fair enough AJ, and you're right it does sound like a urinary tract infection based on symptoms. This completely curable with antibiotics right? Is it possible to have gotten this from the encounter at the massage parlour and is it possible to have gotten this and an STD as well? Last few questions, I promise!

AJ have you heard back from Jake? I think he should have gotten his results by now

[auntiejessi]

No, you wouldn't have gotten this from your encounter - UTIs are not sexually transmitted.  Yes, totally curable, but the longer you wait, the harder it might be to cure.  Yes, you could have an std as well.

I haven't heard from Jake.  :(

Aj

[zaza12]

AJ i just worked out at the gym and noticed in the mirror a minor swelling in my neck, i checked online and i dont think there is a lymph node located there. Its just below my ear and about an inch back so almost at the back of my neck but half way between the side and back. When would you noticed swelling in your lymph nodes if you did have HIV? Thanks

[Vance2335]

"Last few questions, I promise!"-zaza12 March 2nd
STOP! You keep posting and posting and you are avoiding the Dr's. AJ has been great answering question after question, but this site is not designed to be a substitute for a Dr and you are turning it into that. AJ, myself and others are here to help but all of these questions are not helping you because everyday you have a new question. I assume you are looking online and finding this or that and think it implies to you, when it probably doesn't.
I am not trying to be mean about this but it just keeps going around and around and it is not going to stop.

Here is the bottom line...unprotected sex testing times:
Gonorrhea/Chlymida-1 week
Syphilis-6 weeks
HIV-Test after 6 weeks after exposure and this will give you a very good indication of your status and then do a follow up test at 3 months.
Herpes-4 months

[auntiejessi]

I totally agree.  It seems you have some huge anxiety, and that is more of a problem than your risk for any std is.

We say this with kindness, not criticism.  Its time to stop examining yourself so closely, and get to the doctor for the pains you are having.

Aj

[zaza12]

I appreciate the help and I will not post again.

[auntiejessi]

Post again with the results and report from your doctor.  How's that for a deal?  :)

[zaza12]

no deal, you made me cry =]

[auntiejessi]

We don't want you not to post, but we don't want to feed into your anxiety, or prevent you in any way from going to the doctor.  

That's all.  You are posting here and not going to the doctor, so maybe if you stop posting here, you'll go to the doctor.

Think of it as tough love.

[Jake180]

Sorry I didn't post earlier. I just got my results ten minutes ago. The results were all negative for Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and HIV. Thank God. I did not get tested for herpes. Do you think I should?
I am going to wait until sometime during July or August and get tested again for everything just in case the window period wasn't up, and to ease my mind. Do you think that is a legitimate fear?
I am still experiencing that seemingly muscle related pain in my stomach. If it keeps up I am going to go to the doctor. I am worried about a hernia.
Is there anything that I could have gotten that I should get tested for that I did not (Herpes, etc.) or anything that I could have gotten that cannot be tested for?
Thanks for your time, and sorry again.
Jake.

[Jake180]

I know what you are feeling man, but right now the only thing you can do is wait. Try not to focus on it more than you need to. Set aside certain times for yourself, whether it be a day or a couple of hours that you will not think about it at all. This may help ease your mind a bit. You may also want to focus on never making these mistakes again. Set up a system for yourself that won't allow these mistakes to be made. Maybe completely cutting yourself off from things that may lead you there will help.

[auntiejessi]

Jake - so you had unprotected oral in Nov and Dec, right?  You do not need to test again for anything.  You have passed all the window periods, and are good.  :)

You can test for herpes if you want, but its not something to worry about too much or run right out and get done.

Aj

[Jake180]

Yes, I had and gave unprotected oral.
There was also protected vaginal, but I assume that does not pose a risk.
As a side question, if there was protection and it was used properly, does that mean there was no risk at all?
And are there things that cannot be tested for?
Thanks again, Jake.

[auntiejessi]

With oral, you can only get gonorrhea, NGU, syphilis and genital herpes type 1.

The only std that there isn't a test for is HPV in men.

Aj

[zaza12]

Hey i scheduled an appointment towards the end of this week with my doctor because he is out of the office for the first few days of this week. Im going to be able to go for an HIV test in about 2 weeks now as it has been just past 4 weeks.

Im actually kind of worried again because it seems like the lymph node on the left side of my neck is swelling. Its almost at the back of my neck but a little to the left. Its a small bump but im able to grab the node through my neck. I have been poking at it, but have stopped, which may have caused it to swell more. Again im just getting over the flu and I still have a runny nose and sometimes when I wake up I have a dry throat and cough. Is the lymph node swelling most likely due to this and are they supposed to hurt? Thanks guys  

[zaza12]

Sorry for coming back with a question im just very worried about this lymph node situation, you wont hear from me again after 2 weeks when i get the tests done but you'll always be in my prayers for helping me through this and putting up with me =]. Im sure this whole thing is nothing and ive been worked up over nothing

[auntiejessi]

You had the flu, and one swollen gland isn't likely to be anything to worry about.

Aj

[zaza12]

Ok great, lymph nodes swell up to a fairly large size if due to HIV no? Im going to my doc today so i'll see what he has to say about everything and check if I have a urinary tract infection

[auntiejessi]

About a million things can cause swollen glands, and HIV is just one of them.  

With your other symptoms, I'd say its something else.

[zaza12]

Alright I went to the doc today. I asked him about a urinary tract infection and he assured me I dont have that and I dont have ANYTHING at all. He is more worried about me not being able to function until I am able to get a test but i think im ok now. He said that he isnt worried about my immune system because I just overcame the flu and that wouldnt be the case if i contracted HIV. Doc also said he worked downtown Toronto (much higher risk I assume than the outskirts of Toronto, suburbia, where I live) and he has dealt with people who have sex for drugs and HIV is very low amongst them as well. He's pretty much trying to get me back and track and not to worry about this anymore and even offered to do a blood test but I said I would come back in a few weeks. Most of these symptoms im giving to myself, it's a vicious cycle and I think this is the case with most people in my situation. Just an update guys.

Jake Im glad everything is ok with you and I hope I can say the same for me!

[auntiejessi]

I'm glad you went, and I'm glad your doctor noticed and discussed the anxiety.  Did he do any testing at all?

[zaza12]

He didnt i said i owuld just wait for the 6-8 week period. I actually went to an anonomous STD clinic downtown today and they did a blood and urine test for me. If they call in 10 days then there was something detected but if not then no worries for now. Again this will only be about 50% accurate. I seemed to know more about HIV then them and when I told the doctor my situation (the doc seemed to be a homosexual man of indian decent) he seemed kind of surprised so that kind of worries me.

[auntiejessi]

What surprised him?  And your tests for gonorrhea, chlamydia and NGU will all be accurate now.

[zaza12]

I think the fact that I went to a massage parlour which could mean A. Im very stupid for what I did (which is a given) or B. He's never dealt with a situation like this, which is actually kind of scary. He said for the lymph nodes that they would be hard and very noticeable if it was due to HIV. The one behind my neck on the left side seems to be gone but the one on my right side seems to be swelling a little bit more now. Theyre not swelling anywhere else. I still have this ongoing flu, not so much fever or headaches anymore but still a runny nose and sometimes still wake up with scratchy throat. Its starting to get warm here now.

[zaza12]

AJ is it also true that 90% of HIV infections are detectable after 3 weeks after exposure. Say it comes back negative, I know im not out of the water but can I put my mind at ease? I know waiting for test results will be hell =\

[auntiejessi]

90% is detectable at 4 weeks.  

Are you sure what you are feeling are swollen glands?  Have you seen your regular doctor about this?

Aj

[zaza12]

Yeah he said that there is some minor swelling. But again ive had this lingering sore throat. If it was swollen glands should I be worried? its only the 2 behind my neck

[zaza12]

The thing im worried about is that Ive never had swollen lymph nodes before, either that or ive never noticed them

[auntiejessi]

You have a cold or the flu, and that can cause swollen glands.

Really, you have very little to worry about, ok?

You need to talk to someone about this anxiety.  I can almost hear the anxiety increase in your posts.  I don't know how many different ways I can answer your questions, and your doctor said the same things.

Aj

[Jake180]

       Hey what's up. Just want to let you know I've been reading your posts and I know what you must be going through. But at this point you have just got to put it on the side until you can actually do something about it. At first it will be tough but you'll see things start to improve and then it will get easier. Take it easy and feel good man.
       Jake

[Jake180]

Zaza,
       You don't have to say if you don't want to. I am just curious. How old are you?
Jake

[zaza12]

Im 19, turning 20 this year. How about you?

[Jake180]

I am 21.

[zaza12]

Yeah hopefully this experience has taught us both a lot. Do you still have some anxiety or are you over it now

[Jake180]

       What's up man. I'm fine. I definitely would like to go sometime during the summer and get retested just for complete closure, however till then I don't think I'll have any problem waiting. Anyway, worrying will not do any good.
       The main thing is that changes be made so that these things don't happen again. If and when everything is okay, I don't believe in looking back, shrugging shoulders, and saying, eh, it was nothing. That's wrong. It was something, and the fear was for a reason. Probably to teach a lesson.
       What do you think?
Jake

[zaza12]

I agree with you Jake I live with the same mentality and have learned a lot from this experience but I'm still worrying until it's over.

My lymph nodes in my neck are kind of noticeable now but people only notice when I say something about my neck and Ive had headaches a lot yesterday and today. Again I work part time at a sports store and was on my feet the whole day today for 9 hours with 5 hours of sleep :p.

we'll i'll have 90% accurate results within the next 5 days so i'll be smoking and drinking coffee like mad until then :s  

[Jake180]

Do what you gotta do man. Let me know what the result is when you get it.
Jake

[zaza12]

Hey Aj this is kind of a paranoid question but i just had to ask. I just talked to one of my friends who's attended HIV/Aids seminars and the presenters were all HIV positive. He told me that they said that most likely than none if you have unprotected sex with an HIV positive person youre going to get HIV. Is this true or is the 1/2000 based on factual information? Thanks Aj

[auntiejessi]

That's not true, and its a blanket statement that way over-generalizes things.

That might be true for men who have unprotected anal with other men, but that doesn't take into account if they are on meds, what their viral load is, etc etc.

Its not true for men who have sex with women.

Aj

[zaza12]

Ok so being a young, healthy male with a strong immune system would place me in the 1/1000 group then. Thanks Aj, im getting my 90% accurate results back in a few days and hopefully it will be a big relief.

[auntiejessi]

I'm sure it will be.

Aj

[zaza12]

Hey caught you at the right time, i see youre on your computer =P another question... sorry lol. The 1/2000 is that the chance of the HIV antibodies getting into the male urethra or the chance that theyre able to survive and replicate? Thanks Aj

[auntiejessi]

You don't transmit antibodies - you transmit virus, in the case of HIV.

And that's the odds of the virus getting into your urethra at all.

Aj

[zaza12]

Alright, i recieved the unprotected oral and it may be possible that some of the saliva was still on my penis before vaginal insertion, would that significantly increase my risk? Im going to check out the clinic tomorrow for my results because its been about 7 days. Would it be 7 workdays or do clinics go 7 days a week. Thanks Aj

[auntiejessi]

Oral sex is little or no risk for HIV.  Haven't we said that already?

If they said 7 days, I would think that would mean 7 days.  If it was 7 business days, they should qualify that.  You might call ahead and ask if the results are in.

Aj

[zaza12]

I meant the fact that there may be some saliva still on the penis before insertion into vagina, but that would make much of a difference i guess.

I just went to the clinic and they did a syphilis test not an HIV test and said I have to wait 3 months, no exception. My family doctor said he would do one after 8 weeks and 8 weeks will be in 1 and a 1/2 weeks.

I called an HIV hotline and they said my exposure is very low risk, although older woman are more of a risk than younger ones. They said HIV develops over time and many instances of unprotected sex. The swollen lymph nodes may be due to mono. Thoughts?

[auntiejessi]

I think I said mono a long time ago.

And "older" is a relative term.  Overall, older women - above 30 - are at less risk for stds since they tend to be settled in monogamous relationships.

Obviously, there are exceptions.

But it doesn't matter - less than 1% of the US population has HIV, and Canada has very similar rates.

[zaza12]

K thanks, this will be my last post for a while, the spring weather is cheering me up a little bit. One of my friends went for an HIV test at the same clinic and they are rapid tests, she said the doc told her that her risk is somehwere around 0.01% as well and I know its a lot higher for girls. She came back negative and told me not to worry. Just got to wait a few more weeks and pray for the best

[auntiejessi]

I think staying away from the internet for awhile - at least STD sites - is a great idea.  Enjoy your weather.

Aj

[zaza12]

Hey Aj, this isnt a worrisom post but i just wanted your input. Ive been having rather frequent low grade headaches in the past few days and im just wondering what that could be a cause of. I have been smoking ciggarettes quite a lot for past 2 weeks, probably about 8 a day, which is a significant increase from 3-4. HIV does cause frequent low grade headaches but do you know any info about these headaches in general caused by HIV? Thanks Aj

[auntiejessi]

I know nothing about headaches and HIV.  I know all about headaches caused by stress, smoking too much, allergies, dry air, indoor heat, etc.  (I get all of those.)

Headaches would not indicate HIV at all.

Aj

[zaza12]

Ok sounds good, the headaches are gone now. I just went to the clinic and im non-reactive for chlamydia, ghonorrea, NGU and syphilis so thats a relief, but still got the big one coming up! Thursday im going to my family doctor for an HIV test, so i should have the results by monday-tuesday.

[auntiejessi]

Congrats!

Aj

[Jake180]

Good to hear dude. Good luck.
Jake

[zaza12]

Thanks guy. I just got back from the doctor and he did a blood test, he said it wont be 100% accurate although when negative i wont need to come back. The doc missed my vein and poked through the other side so now i have a big bruise =[. Results will come within 7-10 days but i hope a lot sooner.

Aj, i just talked to one of my buddies and he said someone went to brazil and had unprotected sex with a local girl and got her pregnant. He also contracted HIV from just one encounter. Is this person just very unlucky or are risks somehow a lot higher in developing countries?

[auntiejessi]

That's way unlucky, and that sounds like rumor to me.

Its possible, but highly unlikely.

How many weeks has it been now?

[zaza12]

It's been just over 7 weeks now. And yeah i was thinking rumour too, but a few of my other friends have told me about people they know who have HIV, so im just thinking that its more common than I think.

I actually forgot to tell you that my doctor said I have swollen veins in my neck, so that's what im feeling. He said its pretty much gone now and asked me if Ive had any appetite loss, sweating or weight loss. I said none of that and he assured me that im fine.

[auntiejessi]

You are in Canada?  Canada has about the same rates of HIV infection as the US, which is less than 1%.  Be careful what you believe.  If that's a rumor about someone, that's cruel.

Aj

[zaza12]

Definately, I agree. My anxiety is kind of acting up again and it will be until i get the results in 10 days. Im just picturing them telling me I have it. Any advice on how to help me relax?

[auntiejessi]

Go do something FUN.  See a funny movie, hang out with your friends (the ones that aren't talking about everyone with HIV lol), stay busy.  Do homework, go to class, work, etc.

Aj

[Jake180]

       I had a bone scan a while back and the nurse missed the injection twice in my left arm before getting it right in my right arm. I couldn't move my arm for a couple of weeks. It *****. I know what you mean, but that will go away.
       Dude, I don't mean to be harsh but you are not doing yourself any good by worrying. The problem is that you probably will not be able to stop worrying on your own. Most people would not be able to. Therefore, listen to what Aj is saying. Get out. Get out. Get out. Spend time with other people. I don't know what you like to do with your free time but if it's play video games or surf the internet you should probably find something else to do because spending time by yourself indoors or just one of the two is not beneficial. Figure something out, just remember you gotta get moving.
       Good luck man. You can do it.
Jake

[zaza12]

Haha thanks guys. Jake are you implying im some sort of nerd =P. I know what you mean i was out all weekend and went to a club and the pub so i havent really been thinking about it. Unfortunately i have an exam and assignment in 3 days so im going to be spending a lot of time at home and in the library studying and my mind always sails off and i start thinking about this. I'll be fine though, it's been like 3 days and still no call.

[zaza12]

btw i watched I Love You, Man... HILARIOUS!

[auntiejessi]

Awesome.  I'll have to check it out.  :) Is it totally a guy movie, or do you think women will like it too?

And good luck on the exam.  :)  

[zaza12]

Thanks, trying to study right now but TV, msn and facebook all have me distracted... simultaneously.

It's a date/couple movie. I took a girl to see it and she really liked it. It has the same type of humour as The 40 Year Old Virgin and Anchorman. If youre into the show How I Met Your Mother, you'll dig this movie =]  

[Jake180]

       Wasn't implying anything. Just being straight with you. Don't know you at all obviously. For all I know you could be anything. If I remember correctly, at one point you did say you were an athlete, but that's it.
       And How I Met Your Mother is the best show ever created. Brilliant.
Keep us updated and good luck in school.
       Jake

[Jake180]

       I've heard conflicting views on the following.
    If one has protected sex of any sort, vaginal, anal, or oral assuming there was protection at all times and it was used correctly, does that pose any sort of risk or is that considered completely safe?
    And what can one contract from kissing?
Thanks, Jake.

[auntiejessi]

Its not completely safe, but its pretty close.  You can still get syphilis, HPV and herpes, but condoms do reduce the risk of those.

Kissing only spreads hsv1, and that's not considered an std.

Aj

[zaza12]

Aj im feeling a small hard lump under my jaw, is it possible that it's a lymph node and would they be swelling at this point? (8 weeks after risk). I also still have that hard, swollen vein in the back of my neck. My doctor said it was a swollen vein. This thing underneath my jaw moves around when I press it but i dont think it's swollen otherwise it would be a lot bigger correct? Just wondering what can cause these swollen veins. Still nothing from the doc btw, it's been 6 days  

[Jake180]

       Why is there still more of a risk of syphilis, HPV, and herpes? Is that because it is spread through skin to skin contact?
    Thanks again, Jake.

[auntiejessi]

That's exactly it.

Aj

[zaza12]

was that reply to me or jake haha. or both =p

[auntiejessi]

Oh to Jake, sorry.

For you, I think you need to let your doctor see this.  Its not an std, but it needs to be checked.

Aj

[zaza12]

Yeah I have terrible neck problems, I think its the way I sleep. I wake up with a pulled muscle in my neck/back at least once a week and maybe that added with the stress is causing all this swelling. I pulled an all-nighter to study and I had enough smokes all night and noticed another "swollen lump" on the other side of my neck at like 5 AM.

[auntiejessi]

Dude, I smoke, so I get it, but if it might be contributing to lumps on my neck, I might quit lol.

One thing college students don't do is get enough sleep or take really good care of themselves, and it wreaks havoc on their bodies.  I know its so hard, but if you can just do a couple of things - eat better, sleep better, etc., you would probably feel a lot better.

Aj

[zaza12]

Hey guys just got my results, im negative! what a relief, again its only the 8 week test but im sure its pretty conclusive. The doc said the girl was definately sick with something else based on my symptoms

[auntiejessi]

YAY!  No no more worrying, ok?

[Jake180]

Glad to hear dude. That's awesome. Go get yourself a drink or something.
Jake

[zaza12]

Yeah no more worrying definately. Thanks for the help through all this guys, especially you Aj for answering all my questions!

[zaza12]

One last question Aj, im coming down with the flu again but its 8 weeks after, thats cant possibly be HIV related at all right?

[Vance2335]

No it's not HIV related. 8 week test is very very good, I think it is something like 98%-99% accurate. You do not have HIV.

[auntiejessi]

I totally agree.  Its time to move on from it, hon.

AJ

[zaza12]

Hey Aj, im back! Sorry this isnt a paranoid question I just want your opinion. I did that HIV test after 7 weeks which came back negative, and that was a blood test. Is that checking for HIV antibodies or the actual virus itself and is it definitive if it checked for the actual virus? I did it through my family doctor so it was sent to another facility. Also, I still have a very swollen neck (mostly on my left side but slightly swollen on my right). My doctor did say it was a lymph node but its been about 3 1/2 months so would it stay swollen this long if it was due to HIV? my fnal test is on friday and im sure im just nervous about that, thats why im posting. Thanks a lot Aj, im glad this is almost all over.

[Jake180]

Good luck man. Let us know what happens. Sure it'll be alright.
Jake