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STD risk after stupid threesome with prostitutes?
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STD risk after stupid threesome with prostitutes?

Hi,

A few days ago I was on a bachelor party and stupidly had an alcohol fuelled threesome with 2 prostitutes. This was in a legal European brothel that seemly offered sex on an industrial scale so I am sure these were two very high risk people.

I had sexual intercourse with both girls and wore a condom throughout. Also in an alcohol induced moment of madness, I performed unprotected oral sex on one of the girls including rimming.

I struggle to explain my behaviour except to say that I have a long standing problem with alcohol that causes me to make very poor decisions.

I feel a sense if deep shame, this is the first time I have had sex with prostitutes and the first time I have had sex outside of marriage.

I need to know how at risk I am of passing something onto my wife.

I also have anxiety issues and cannot breath for worrying about this. The guilt of betrayal and the fear that I may have picked up an STD consumes my thoughts at all times of the day.

I have diarrhoea and notice other perceived symptoms like constant dry mouth, irritated stomach and at times penis pain. I do not know if this is an STD symptom or is my anxiety that's causing it. All I know is I am in hell right now. I do not seek sympathy for my actions but I need to know how at risk I will out my wife if I have sex with her.

12 Comments Post a Comment
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580755_tn?1357673215
Ok what is going to be best for you is some testing. I can tell you that your risk was low and you should not worry but speak as a person who has anxiety I know only proof will get you to accept this.

So your condom protected sex is very good. Had no major risks but test for syphilis at 6 weeks and herpes at 3 months just to help your anxiety.

For the oral this again was very low risk and only additional test i see is a throat swab at 1 week, and while you do that get a urethra swab or urine test for gonorrhea and chlamydia.

Again these tests are more for you then anything else. I see no reason to be concerned or worried.

I would also address the bigger issue which is drinking. i like yourself would make dumb decisions and i just decided best thing is to stop.

any other STD questions post here, but if you have any drinking questions feel free to send me a PM
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you for your reply Vance.

I agree I need to address the drinking issue. This is something I have been aware of and my wife has helped me with.

I have not been drunk in 12 years due to the problem I have but I'm afraid to say that on this bachelor weekend in Europe with other men, I lost control and found myself in an environment which resulted in an extremely poor decision of which I am ashamed and will have to live with.

The memory of the event is cloudy, I do not remember any condom breakage but certainly remember the unprotected oral and rimming and can't quite believe I performed this on a sex worker.

I suffer terribly with anxiety, I always have but this is like nothing I have ever felt before. It's crushing and I don't know if its causing the diarrhoea and general ill feeling that I am suffering for or if it is indeed the early signs of an STD.

Anyway, thank you for your reply. I will seek to be tested at 6 weeks and again at 6 months although I'm not sure how I will cope until then!

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580755_tn?1357673215
Most likely symptoms are of anxiety. They are not of a STD.

6 months?? for what? 3 months is the furthest you need testing for
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Avatar_m_tn
Sorry I misread that! 6 weeks them 3 months and hopefully I can put this behind me and get on with my life.

Thank you for your advice my friend.
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580755_tn?1357673215
Welcome.
You also might want to address anxiety with a Dr. They have medication that can help out.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi Vance, I thought is update this thread.

I have recently come down with a burning sore throat and I fear that its confirmation that I have picked at STD up such as HIV from my stupidly outlined above.

I am booked in for tests but work commitments mean I cannot attend till early June.

I am wracked with nerves and guilt and cannot look my wife and kids in the eye. I fear my moments of madness will destroy our family and ruin everyone I love lives. Personally if I have contracted an Std like HIV I will not be able to live with it and without my family and I really fear what I would do.

I know you cannot help me but I just hope that any guy who is as weak as I am and that has as much to lose as I do exercises more self control or recognises problem with alcohol.

The last 4 weeks have been dark and the worst of my life. If this burning sore tho at leads to a positive test result everything is over for me.

Any guy reading this that is close to doing what I did please realise that you could lose everything a wreck your life
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3149845_tn?1415046551
Hi, your not weak but just a normal hardworking family man that let his hair down one night. Men give much of themselves to their family and nothing wrong with having moments of weakness. You did use a condom so greatly reduced your risk for anythings and what risks you did have are low for contracting anything.
You dont have HIV and many experts and doctors consider oral sex as safe sex and put it in the low risk catagory. They use the word "low" only to include possibilities. Most of these professional girls take more care than regular women as are aware of contracting things.

Most experts dont advise testing unless there are symptoms like burning and a discharge when urinating but do recommend testing if there is a loved one involved to make sure all is ok.
I think your mental health is the issue here and would move up the testing just to put this behind you.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thank you for your comments my friend. There is so much conflicting information on the Internet.

I was reaching a point where I was starting to forget about the incident but today's illness has me terrified to the point of breakdown. All the emotions have come flooding back with fear and panic. I'm leaving my wife and kids in the living room and having an emotional breakdown in the bathroom.

My sore throat has now turned into a fever with runny nose and other cold symptoms and my throat is red raw. My muscles and joints are aching as well.

I am very very rarely unwell and it just seems like to much if a coincidence that these symptoms have manifested themselves 4 weeks after the incident.

Just need to hope and pray that the tests at the start of June come back negative for everything. This is a living hell.

Thank you again for replying.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi there,
Read you postings with interest as it was very similar to a mistake I recently made, and the anxiety and terror-inducing symptoms you have experienced certainly sounded very familiar.  Just thought I'd say that things will get easier a) as you get tested, and the tests come back negative and b) as time goes on, it's true what they say about time healing all wounds.  Symptoms can be highly misleading, especially under a great deal of anxiety, too much worry can cause havoc with your body.  Obviously right now you feel pretty sh*tty for your misdemeanor and effectively cheating on your family, however I assure you that after another couple of months things get easier and you will stop thinking about it every seconds of every day.  As time goes on life will return to normal and you'll be able to put this incident behind you, be close to your family & wife again and continue with your life.  I've realised this myself.  Anyway, good luck with your test results which in all likelihood will be negative, just as mine have been so far.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi,

i am also having the very same experience as you are at this moment the anxiety and worries now have a sore throat as woke up in the morning and a slight fever. I want to punch my face because of having sex with a sex worker again 2nd time around... i survive last time and here i go again. I was drinking with my boss then after been tipsy or drunk he brought me for a massage i thought it is just a decent massage parlor sh*t and then it happens my stupid dick got over my mind again. I am also so worried crying i will never could touch my wife and my baby again cause i don't want them to be infected. All good things a good man did is gone in just a moment of bad decision.

Same as you unprotected oral sex 1-2 minutes and protected sex i didn't ejaculate after 4 days my body itching, 5th day now sore throat a slight fever they say its just the stress & anxiety that causes it, not a minute that i think that i could have catch STDs just today i just have to accept things that this is my great fall if i ever have this STD. I want to punch my boss about this but this is my fault i am damn weak...  i want to magnify good possibilities but i always end up magnifying the worst. i'll try to have a test after 3 months. that is if i am still alive... I am still young and feel like i am dying everyday of every minute...

anyway all talk no play cannot solve this problem the waiting is killing me and the results may give death.

Well God Speed for both of us. I believe where in the hands of God right now. Please let me know your result at least it would give hope to a twice dumb guy like me.  
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Avatar_m_tn
even iam in the same situation.... too scared to even take tests..
what happened to ur test results friend?? i can understand your feelings.. im also feel the same pain.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi Just to let you know you are not alone. I had protected sex with a prostitute 3weeks ago but performed unprotected oral on her (why???). I have had burning pain when urinating, and so much anxiety I feel nauseous most of the time. Ive had the tests and currently on antibiotics 'just in case' my doctor said. I now have to wait. My own doctor and the sti doctor both said my risk was minimal, but I still got the pain. If its not gon/chlam then what is it? My wife doesn't know why I don't want sex with her and feels I want to leave her, but if this is positive she will throw me out anyway.  I should also say I am a mature man of 55 so it can happen to anyone.
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