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STD risk?
I am pregnant, in my third trimester, and very recently had a one-time encounter with someone who is not my husband. We did not have sex and I think things were low risk. However, I'm pregnant and now wracked with guilt and worry for the baby. I kissed (French kiss, not just on the lips) this other man and was naked with him. I rubbed his penis with my hand (felt pre-***), but did not bring him off this way. We did not rub genitals together. Instead, he rubbed himself against my chest, below breasts, and came on me. My concern stems from that fact that during pregnancy nipples can be chapped or cracked. Mine are not horribly chapped; they have not bled at all. But they are chapped or a little cracked. I have been putting lotion on them, including the night before this encounter. I'm now worried about the fact of my having chapped skin. The man I was with came on me and I think the majority of the semen was on my chest just below my right breast (not on the nipple where the chapping is), but I can't be sure that some didn't get on my nipple. Before he came on me, he had been playing with my nipples. But 1) he primarily was touching the nipple that definitely didn't get semen on it and 2) the touching felt good; it didn’t feel rough or unpleasant and didn’t make my chapped nipples feel sore at all. I've asked him if he has any STDs and he said that he does not, but hasn’t been tested in about 3 years. He doesn’t have any noticeable sores on him or signs of infections. He is in a relationship and believes his current girlfriend is STD-free and that she has an “uncomplicated,” as he put it, sexual history. I spoke to this man after the fact about my anxiety and he thinks there is no STD risk in what we did. But I still feel anxious. What is my risk level for having contracted any STD? Clearly, I will never be repeating this behavior. If you believe there has been a risk level that warrants testing, please let me know how long after exposure I should wait to be tested.
Many thanks. Have a good summer.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Gonorrhea and chlamydia tests are valid any time more than 2-3 days (some experts say a week) after exposure. All blood tests (e.g., HIV, syphilis) require about 6 weeks.
This is good advice. Thanks. I still would like to know, though, about how long one waits before testing for STDs as that is a question that I posed and has not been answered in your comments. I would request that you please answer that and then, as you suggest, this thread can end.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
None of this changes my opinions or advice. I suggest you stop searching about it online, whether on this forum or anywhere else. Axious people tend to be drawn to information that inflames their fears, to not absorbe the reassuring bits, and to have trouble putting it all into context.
That will have to tend this thread. Please accept the reassurance you have had and move on; and discuss it with your Ob if you cannot.
That will have to tend this thread. Please accept the reassurance you have had and move on; and discuss it with your Ob if you cannot.
Hello doctor,
After digesting your comments I feel a lot better. Just a little follow up: When I search around this site I find responses that say that the chances of contracting an STD through kissing are nil, but I’ve also seen responses that say that the chances of catching syphilis in this manner, while low, are possible. If I understand correctly, these chances are *very* low, is that right? As in, too low to worry about? The only reason I ask with particular regard to syphilis is that I know it can cross the placenta, so it seems that it could present an extra danger in my pregnant situation. The man I was with is currently involved with a woman who spent a while working in Thailand, where syphilis is, I think, more common. That said, his girlfriend, who is American, is an educated woman and presumably knows about sexual risks (though we all make mistakes sometimes), and based on what this man told me, he doesn’t think she has any STDs. Even so, I would appreciate your reassuring me: Am I right in thinking that your take is that the chances of having caught syphilis from kissing this man are extremely low to nonexistent? I of course didn’t inspect the inside of his mouth, but didn’t notice any sores on the outside of his mouth.
Finally, if I were to do any STD re-screenings, or if my doctor were to do them as a third-trimester practice, how long after exposure would I wait to get accurate results? It has only been one week at this point. I ask because I’d like to have this knowledge in hand, though I’m also thinking that—depending on your answer to the syphilis questions above—I may just let the matter rest without re-testing.
Thanks.
After digesting your comments I feel a lot better. Just a little follow up: When I search around this site I find responses that say that the chances of contracting an STD through kissing are nil, but I’ve also seen responses that say that the chances of catching syphilis in this manner, while low, are possible. If I understand correctly, these chances are *very* low, is that right? As in, too low to worry about? The only reason I ask with particular regard to syphilis is that I know it can cross the placenta, so it seems that it could present an extra danger in my pregnant situation. The man I was with is currently involved with a woman who spent a while working in Thailand, where syphilis is, I think, more common. That said, his girlfriend, who is American, is an educated woman and presumably knows about sexual risks (though we all make mistakes sometimes), and based on what this man told me, he doesn’t think she has any STDs. Even so, I would appreciate your reassuring me: Am I right in thinking that your take is that the chances of having caught syphilis from kissing this man are extremely low to nonexistent? I of course didn’t inspect the inside of his mouth, but didn’t notice any sores on the outside of his mouth.
Finally, if I were to do any STD re-screenings, or if my doctor were to do them as a third-trimester practice, how long after exposure would I wait to get accurate results? It has only been one week at this point. I ask because I’d like to have this knowledge in hand, though I’m also thinking that—depending on your answer to the syphilis questions above—I may just let the matter rest without re-testing.
Thanks.
Thanks! I got myself very worried on behalf of my unborn baby. ("What will happen to my baby if I contracted something?") I really do appreciate your help and very fast responses, and your being so reassuring.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Any theoretical risk from exposure of semen to cracked skin of the nipples (or elsewhere) is just that -- theoretical only. In 40 years in the STD business, I have never seen nor heard of any such case. I really wouldn't worry about it.
Best wishes.
Best wishes.
Thank you for the quick, helpful, and nonjudgmental reply. I can see if my OB will re-test for STDs, though I understand that this is much more to calm my nerves than for any necessary reason. And just to be clear, you don't think the fact that my nipples are slightly cracked, and that one may have had some of his semen on it, poses any risk? I had googled (and what I found no doubt increased my fears!) and found info that suggested that cuts or cracks that are exposed to infected semen means that there could be a risk. I also found info that said that syphilis can be transmitted through kissing, though based on your reply it sounds like I should not be concerned by this.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question.
The STDs are not just genital area infections that can easily infect other body parts if exposed. The STD bacteria, viruses, etc evolved so that transmission require access to certain cells and tissues that, for the most part, are deep inside the body. Without a penis inside another person's vagina, rectum, or mouth (without a condom), there is generally no STD risk. (In lesbian women, infections can also be transmitted by exchanging vaginal fluids, e.g. on hands and sex toys.) In other words, genital apposition without penetration, hand-genital contact, kissing, or contact of semen or other genital secretions with the body, breasts, etc carries no risk of transmission.
For those reasons, you need not be at all worried about the exposure events you have described. Even if your partner had an STD, you are not at risk and there is no danger from your baby.
Most ObG's routinely test all their pregnant patients for the common STDs -- gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, HIV, and sometimes herpes. You might ask your Ob whether s/he has already done that; and whether s/he believes additional testing would be a good idea, if only for reassurance. I stress that this is strictly to help ease your fears, not because there was any risk from this particular event.
I hope this helps. Best wishes for a successful pregnancy and delivery and a healthy baby! Regards-- HHH, MD
The STDs are not just genital area infections that can easily infect other body parts if exposed. The STD bacteria, viruses, etc evolved so that transmission require access to certain cells and tissues that, for the most part, are deep inside the body. Without a penis inside another person's vagina, rectum, or mouth (without a condom), there is generally no STD risk. (In lesbian women, infections can also be transmitted by exchanging vaginal fluids, e.g. on hands and sex toys.) In other words, genital apposition without penetration, hand-genital contact, kissing, or contact of semen or other genital secretions with the body, breasts, etc carries no risk of transmission.
For those reasons, you need not be at all worried about the exposure events you have described. Even if your partner had an STD, you are not at risk and there is no danger from your baby.
Most ObG's routinely test all their pregnant patients for the common STDs -- gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, HIV, and sometimes herpes. You might ask your Ob whether s/he has already done that; and whether s/he believes additional testing would be a good idea, if only for reassurance. I stress that this is strictly to help ease your fears, not because there was any risk from this particular event.
I hope this helps. Best wishes for a successful pregnancy and delivery and a healthy baby! Regards-- HHH, MD
You are reading content posted in the STDs Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
