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Avatar universal

STD's from protected sex,

Here goes...I am a happily married 35 yo man who has been trying with his wife to get pregnant for the past 2 and a half years (moving to IUI's based on our bad luck).  Recently (December 29) I visited a escort and had protected oral and vaginal sex.  This was the first time I used an escort and felt sick to my stomach afterwards and have since been riddled with severe guilt(prior to the IUI we were both tested for STD's and came up negative).  

The sex did not last long and the condom did not break.  I have noticed no signs of a STD with myself over the past 2 weeks.  I have been more upset with myself over this encounter and have been severly depressed as a result of my mistake.  I plan on getting tested for STD's but have held off due to the fact that many will not show up on a test this early.

On January 3rd we underwent our second IUI treatment and my wife was injected with my sperm.  We have had sex numerous times since then.  Two days ago (Jan 13) my wife informed me that she started to have considerable itching in her vagina.  She has had herpes, and informed me that this itching was different and seemed to her to be more like a yeast infection.  Could it be a yeast infection? Bacterial vaginitis? Trich? HSV? or something else? how can I tell without informing her of my mistake.

So now I am totally freaking out and do not know what to do. Should I go and get myself tested? Is there an easy way to figure out if it is a yeast infection? To make things worse, we think the IUI may be successful and my wife is holding off on treating herself for the yeast infection.   Please advise what I should do and help to alleviate my constant concerns. I haven not been sleeping well and the stress of my mistake is starting to affect me in ways that I could never had imagined...Please help
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Avatar universal
Thanks for all of your advice on this thread.  Got my results back. All are negative, as I was informed and should have believed.  Took two different urinalysis tests, with one following precise directions (first urination of day/midstream).  Blood work was also negative for HSV and HIV, however will follow up for HIV at doctors order (fully aware the odds are just about zero).  Know way to know about HPV, but have not noticed any signs and just have to hope that nothing was passed from this brief encounter.

Throughout the past month and a half, I wished I could have let my mind relax but know ho difficult it is to do so.  I feel for anyone who was in the same situation as myself.  I have learned a horrible lesson from a huge lapse in my judgement.  I have chosen to seek counseling services and will do my best to be a better husband to my wife.
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Avatar universal
If the tests come back positive who is to say your wife didn't give it to you?
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Avatar universal
great, but if the test comes back positive??? then of course, my charade ends and the harsh reality of my actions will have to come out.
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Avatar universal
testing for Trich in men is more difficult then woman but you never had a risk for it. So believe the test.
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Avatar universal
thanks. your comments have settled my gut...at least for now.  

I had a test for trich the other day and results should be ready by friday. do you know if the tests for trich in men are accurate.  a false negative or a negative i cannot trust would not be very reassuring.
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Avatar universal
You did not give her Trich, no matter what you read it would not just hand on like you have said.

Anxiety and guilt does a number on everyone. Telling her is your choice and does not mean that the marriage is over, but it could depending on her.
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Avatar universal
thanks Vance, but I have read multiple things about this on the internet.  one stated that trich transmission was somewhat of a mystery.  i am unsure if the parasite could have remained on my genitals until my wife and i had sex later in the day.  i am just so confused.

i love my wife and am unaware how i could have made such a mistake (god i am so weak).  telling her would certainly destroy our marriage and my life. so i am unsure if i should hold off until and wait to see what her doctor says or inform her and plan my departure and new life :(
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Avatar universal
Also you can not get Trich from protected sex.
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Avatar universal
She would have to be seen by a Dr.
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Avatar universal
well here goes again.  my problems have seemed to dissipate (tingling and irritation in tip of penis is gone). but my wife continues to itch at night during her sleep.  I also noticed that her vagina has taken on a different odor the past two nights.  The other night I went down on her and awoke with a sore throat and diarhea.

I did have tests performed and chlamydia, gonnorhea and syphillis all came back negative.  However I am living in fear that I contracted trichonomas and have now passed it on to her.  I am sitting and waiting until she goes to a clinic to get it looked at.  She has not mentioned anything about that, but I am sure it is inevitable.  Is there anyway to check if this is trich or BV from home or do I have to wait until she is seen by a professional? thanks
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Avatar universal
hi. currently my wife is getting very irritated in her vaginal area and we believe it is a yeast infection. i don't know and am not sure what to say to her. i cannot sleep very well and wish i knew some way of telling her what i have done. probably will in the morning.
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101028 tn?1419603004
probably anxiety related more than anything. if it continues, see your provider monday.

grace
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Avatar universal
i have started to notice a tingling pain in my urethra.  it is minor and seems to be noticeable at night or early morning.  is this a symptom or am i just looking for one? i am more and more unsure of what i should do regarding being tested...
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Avatar universal
thanks for the response and reassurance. guilty feelings are overwhelming and are perhaps causing my anxiety over infecting her with something. i am so sorry for what i have done, but fear informing her will ruin what has been an amazing marriage. this has led me to the deep hole i am currently in. thanks again for the advice.  
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101028 tn?1419603004
you had protected sex. no need for a std screening from your escort visit. You've also had no symptoms. don't confuse guilt with risk.


your wife has been on hormones and had procedures done recently. odds are her symptoms are not std related at all but she needs to follow up on them with her gyn, not self treat.

grace
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