Over the past year I have had 15 encounters with CSW in Canada.
Exactly one year ago (to the day) I had protected oral and vaginal sex with a massage worker. The same condom was used for the oral (which took place less than 2 minutes) and the vaginal. She was the one who applied the condom. I came during vaginal, which lasted less than a minute. When I withdrew the condom was clearly intact and I tied the top and there were no leakages (to my recollection). 4 days after the incident I asked her about her status and she said she was "absolutely clean". This is the only time that I have had protected vaginal sex with anyone other than my wife.
I have had 4 episodes of protected oral with 4 different massage workers during the past year, the last of which was three weeks ago. There has never been unprotected oral.
I have had 10 separate episodes of handjobs from 10 different massage workers during this past year. Only one of the massage workers wore rubber gloves. The rest used their bare hands.
On Wednesday I went for full STD / HIV testing at local STD clinic. I did testing because my wife wants to have another baby. We have not had unprotected sex for 2 years (the last time was prior to my indiscretions). She is unaware of my sexual addiction.
I am terrified of the results, as I am a professional, married with kids. I am also terrified at the anxiety of a false positive as I have OCD and anxiety.
I have been perfectly healthy with not even a cold during this year. I have no sores, nor have I experienced anything unusual in my penis this past year (nothing at all).
I lost my way morally and am seeking counseling for sex addiction.
Based on the above exposures, am I at risk for anything?
Thank you for your time. I am very nervous and anxious. I don't want my life to be ruined, and I have a long way to go to overcome this addiction.
Thank you Vance. My anxiety is high. Your comments are appreciated.
How would I determine if I had a sex addiction? I hate my behaviour but I find myself doing it over and over (not to mention my chronic porn and masturbation habit).
Honestly I hate everything about this. The anxiety, fear of ruining life, testing, I even hate looking on the Internet about it. But I still end up doing it to escape pain . As a result I feel it is addiction.
I would be grateful if you are aware of any resources you could point me to to help me determine whether this is addiction. Thank you
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