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Sex Toys and STDs
Hello Dr.,
I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to STDs, and I just had a panel of STD testing done two months ago. At that time, I tested negative for HIV, herpes 1 and 2 (HerpeSelect IgG test), chlamydia, and gonorrhea. I was not tested for anything else.
My fiance has only been tested for HIV (also negative), but he swears that he has only had oral sex with three women before me, and never any genital-to-genital contact with anyone before me.
We bought a few new sex toys recently, both through Amazon.com and at our local Adam & Eve store. I always thought that Amazon was safe (they do accept returns, but apparently only on defective merchandise), and Adam & Eve always makes us make sure the toys work before we leave the store, since they don't accept returns.
Stupidly, I didn't even think to wash the toys before using them, and now I'm worried that someone used them before we bought them. My fiance and I also had unprotected sexual intercourse that night, which we almost never do (we have only done it once of twice in the past).
Flash forward 1.5 weeks later. Suddenly, I am having urethral pain, along with pain upon urination. I do seem to also have urinary urgency, especially earlier today, but it seems to have subsided a lot. I couldn't even sleep because of the irritated feeling, and also feeling like I had to pee somewhat, even after I did. My urine is also cloudy, but I see no external symptoms when I squat over a mirror.
I am terrified that I somehow have a STD. I have had a few UTIs in the past, but never any symptoms like this.
1. Could I have gotten ANY STD (HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, etc) from the sex toys? I am worried that they were somehow used before.
2. Is there any reason for my fiance to be tested for any of these STDs, since he has only had oral sex in the past, and was a virgin before he met me?
3. Does it sound like I have an STD?
Thanks for your help!
I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to STDs, and I just had a panel of STD testing done two months ago. At that time, I tested negative for HIV, herpes 1 and 2 (HerpeSelect IgG test), chlamydia, and gonorrhea. I was not tested for anything else.
My fiance has only been tested for HIV (also negative), but he swears that he has only had oral sex with three women before me, and never any genital-to-genital contact with anyone before me.
We bought a few new sex toys recently, both through Amazon.com and at our local Adam & Eve store. I always thought that Amazon was safe (they do accept returns, but apparently only on defective merchandise), and Adam & Eve always makes us make sure the toys work before we leave the store, since they don't accept returns.
Stupidly, I didn't even think to wash the toys before using them, and now I'm worried that someone used them before we bought them. My fiance and I also had unprotected sexual intercourse that night, which we almost never do (we have only done it once of twice in the past).
Flash forward 1.5 weeks later. Suddenly, I am having urethral pain, along with pain upon urination. I do seem to also have urinary urgency, especially earlier today, but it seems to have subsided a lot. I couldn't even sleep because of the irritated feeling, and also feeling like I had to pee somewhat, even after I did. My urine is also cloudy, but I see no external symptoms when I squat over a mirror.
I am terrified that I somehow have a STD. I have had a few UTIs in the past, but never any symptoms like this.
1. Could I have gotten ANY STD (HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, etc) from the sex toys? I am worried that they were somehow used before.
2. Is there any reason for my fiance to be tested for any of these STDs, since he has only had oral sex in the past, and was a virgin before he met me?
3. Does it sound like I have an STD?
Thanks for your help!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum.
As in your past questions both on this and the HIV forum, you describe a sexual lifestyle and exposures that put you at no risk of STDs. Of course your STD tests 2 months ago were negative; they could not have been otherwise.
1) I think you know -- intellectually if not emotionally -- that the toys were not used before being shipped. You could not possibly have acquired any STD from them.
2) Given your and your partner's sexual histories, neither of you needs testing for STDs at this time.
3) STDs are not the most common causes of symptoms like yours, even in people at risk; and with your lifestyle and exposures, there is no chance an STD is the cause in this case. As you may know, UTI is an "occupational" risk for all sexually active women (hence the outmoded term "honeymoon cystitis" -- cystitis meaning bladder infection). The symptoms aren't necessarily identical every time. A yeast infection also is possible. I recommend you visit your primary care doctor or clinic and get it checked out. But there is no reason to be at all concerned about STDs.
If I may given some further advice: Inflated fear of contagion sometimes is an early sign of serious mental health disabilities, and often a manifestation of OCD (which you described yourself as having in one or more past questions). If your continuing irrational fear of STD (and yes, it is irrational) is the only infection worry you have, and you don't consider it disabling, then you probably can live with it. But if it is significantly affecting your life and in particular your sexual relationship and romance, or if you also are fearful of other kinds of infection -- such as contacting doorknobs, avoiding social contact -- then I would strongly recommend you seek professional attention about it. I suggest it from compassion, not criticism. For an excellent illustration of where such symptoms can lead, rent The Aviator, the DeCaprio film biography of Howard Hughes. (It's a terrific movie, by the way.)
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
As in your past questions both on this and the HIV forum, you describe a sexual lifestyle and exposures that put you at no risk of STDs. Of course your STD tests 2 months ago were negative; they could not have been otherwise.
1) I think you know -- intellectually if not emotionally -- that the toys were not used before being shipped. You could not possibly have acquired any STD from them.
2) Given your and your partner's sexual histories, neither of you needs testing for STDs at this time.
3) STDs are not the most common causes of symptoms like yours, even in people at risk; and with your lifestyle and exposures, there is no chance an STD is the cause in this case. As you may know, UTI is an "occupational" risk for all sexually active women (hence the outmoded term "honeymoon cystitis" -- cystitis meaning bladder infection). The symptoms aren't necessarily identical every time. A yeast infection also is possible. I recommend you visit your primary care doctor or clinic and get it checked out. But there is no reason to be at all concerned about STDs.
If I may given some further advice: Inflated fear of contagion sometimes is an early sign of serious mental health disabilities, and often a manifestation of OCD (which you described yourself as having in one or more past questions). If your continuing irrational fear of STD (and yes, it is irrational) is the only infection worry you have, and you don't consider it disabling, then you probably can live with it. But if it is significantly affecting your life and in particular your sexual relationship and romance, or if you also are fearful of other kinds of infection -- such as contacting doorknobs, avoiding social contact -- then I would strongly recommend you seek professional attention about it. I suggest it from compassion, not criticism. For an excellent illustration of where such symptoms can lead, rent The Aviator, the DeCaprio film biography of Howard Hughes. (It's a terrific movie, by the way.)
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
UTIs in women are triggered by sex, but they are not sexually transmitted. Men do not carry the bacteria -- you are carrying it. You probably are colonized with E. coli or similar bacteria in your vagina or vaginal opening, and the bacteria were massaged into your urethra during sex. Your fiance is not carrying anything you can catch, and you have nothing that will infect him. As noted above, the outmoded term "honeymoon cystitis" used to refer to UTIs occuring in women when they had new or increased sexual activity.
If you have had frequent UTIs, and if they seem to be triggered by sex, you could be prescribed an antibiotic to take 3 times a week, or after each time you have sex (whichever is most frequent) to prevent a recurrence. (One of my professors referred to it as an after-diddle mint.) I speak from personal experience that it works: my wife had this problem for several years.
If you have had frequent UTIs, and if they seem to be triggered by sex, you could be prescribed an antibiotic to take 3 times a week, or after each time you have sex (whichever is most frequent) to prevent a recurrence. (One of my professors referred to it as an after-diddle mint.) I speak from personal experience that it works: my wife had this problem for several years.
Dr. HHH,
Thank you so much for your help. My symptoms were becoming worse very rapidly - within a few hours, the burning was almost unbearable and I even found a few tiny blood clots in my urine. I went to a local urgent care clinic, and they did a urinalysis. I came back positive for a UTI, so they went ahead and prescribed Macrobid.
It has been 48 hours, and I am feeling almost 100% better. I will continue with the antibiotics until the course is complete, but I am a bit worried that my fiance may have this infection, too.
Is it possible that he is carrying it, either from catching it from me, or that he had it first himself, and then gave it to me? I have never had a UTI like this, and it was the first time that we had unprotected sex in a year (and we have only had unprotected sex two or three times ever).
He has no symptoms, nor has he ever. Should he get a urinalysis, and/or does he need antibiotic treatment before we have unprotected sex again? I understand that this is not chlamydia, gonorrhea, or a traditional STD, but I am unclear as to whether a male can carry other UTI-causing bacteria, especially when they are experiencing no symptoms. In any case, I definitely do not want to experience that pain again!
I will make sure to rent the movie that you suggested, and I think that I will consider getting back on medication for my anxiety. Thank you again for all of your help!
Thank you so much for your help. My symptoms were becoming worse very rapidly - within a few hours, the burning was almost unbearable and I even found a few tiny blood clots in my urine. I went to a local urgent care clinic, and they did a urinalysis. I came back positive for a UTI, so they went ahead and prescribed Macrobid.
It has been 48 hours, and I am feeling almost 100% better. I will continue with the antibiotics until the course is complete, but I am a bit worried that my fiance may have this infection, too.
Is it possible that he is carrying it, either from catching it from me, or that he had it first himself, and then gave it to me? I have never had a UTI like this, and it was the first time that we had unprotected sex in a year (and we have only had unprotected sex two or three times ever).
He has no symptoms, nor has he ever. Should he get a urinalysis, and/or does he need antibiotic treatment before we have unprotected sex again? I understand that this is not chlamydia, gonorrhea, or a traditional STD, but I am unclear as to whether a male can carry other UTI-causing bacteria, especially when they are experiencing no symptoms. In any case, I definitely do not want to experience that pain again!
I will make sure to rent the movie that you suggested, and I think that I will consider getting back on medication for my anxiety. Thank you again for all of your help!
You are reading content posted in the STDs Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
