I just found out that my husband is a sex addict. I have come to learn that he has visited at least 10 different women, sometimes leaving our bed in the middle of the night to go see them and not showering until the next morning. He claims he has worn a comdom every time, but he has not admitted whether or not there was any breakage in between. He also admitted that he did kiss some of the women, and he admitted that he did have anal sex as well.
Knowing nothing about escorts and having limited knowledge about anal sex, my impression was that a man inserts a finger prior to his penis when performing anal sex? Do men do that with escorts or no? If so, what kind of germs could he have transmitted home if he hadn't cleaned up properly? Who takes off the condom usually? The man or the escort? I don't know.
Could he have left any living organisms in our sheets or in the laundry basket? How long should he wait to be tested? Should he be tested multiple times, and if so what time length in between? What are the best way to get tests, a urologist? Please, any help you can give me would be greatly appreciated. Not only am I blindsided, but now I'm terrified. We have children who often snuggle on his side of the bed before I tuck them in, and I don't know if I should even have them tested too.
I know I asked a lot of questions, but please help if you can!
your regular provider is fine for both of you to seek out testing.
you both can get tested for chlamydia, gonorrhea, trich and nug any time after 1 week after you had sex with him for you. he needs to wait at least 1 week after he had sex with others.
you can get tested for syphilis any time after 6 weeks after you last had sex with him and he's had sex with others.
herpes, hiv and hepatitis testing has to be 3 months after you last had sex with him for you and he needs to wait that long after he had sex with others.
hpv is also a risk. we don't have commercially available tests for that in males without symptoms. in females, we can do hpv dna testing on the cervix to check for the types that cause cervical cancer.
anything on the sheets or his clothing isn't an issue. it's sex that transmits these infections, not contact with sheets or clothing. your children were never at risk from anything.
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