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Avatar universal

Should I be worried?

Hi doctor,
On 27/2/2013 I had protected oral sex and very brief protected vaginal sex with black female sex worker whist drunk.  The following week am v anxious/guilty, wife finds out 4 days later she is pregnant!  10 days later get pain in left testicle & lower back.  

Day 12 - went to GUM clinic & tested for:ghonerrea, clamidya, hiv, herpes, doctor could not detect any swelling of testicles.  All tests neg.

12-25 days: discomfort on penis head, can see tiny red spot on urethra.  

Day 25: Back to GUM clinic. Different doctor again couldn't see anything wrong and said don't worry, ghon. clamidya. and herpes tested again, herpes swab was v painful.  Asked doc if OK to have sex with wife again, she said as my wife was pregnant wait for latest test results and if negative then OK. Given emollient cream for penis pain. Also get hep b vaccination. Again all tests negative.  

Day 30: have sex with wife, no penetration but mutual masturbation.

Day 37: penis still sore, Gracefromhpp says I still need syphillis/herpes tests - start to panic and worry re: herpes risk for wife/baby!  Back to clinic and see doctor, tell her about herpes worry.  She again says that it doesn't look like herpes - no lesions.  Said definitely not herpes and I could have sex with wife.  

Day 36-63: penis still v sore, can't wear boxer shorts and exercising is painful.

Day 63: Penis much better. Hiv, syphillis and hep b testing done - again all neg.

Day 90: back to GUM and have these tests: hiv, syphillis, ghonerrea, chlamidya, and hep b. and private igg herpes test.

My questions:
1) What is the likelihood I may have contacted herpes? symptoms v worrying.
2) Could the non-pentrative sex I had wife my wife put her at risk?
3) If all the tests on day 90 comes back neg, including herpes igg test - can I consider myself in the clear/no further testing req?
4) If you were in my position would you resume having sex with wife?
4 Responses
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239123 tn?1267647614
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
No STD causes symptoms like your wife's and they have nothing to do with having sex with you or with your past sexual indiscretion.  Obviously she should be in touch with her doctor about it.

Best wishes for your wife's health and a healthy family.  But that will end this thread.  Do your best to move on.  
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Avatar universal
Hi doctor. Sorry to bother you again. On the morning of 2/6/2013 I took your advice and resumed having sex with my wife again. She is currently 18 weeks pregnant. 4-5 days later on the evening of 6/6/2013 she vomited at 2am in morning. Since them she has been generally lethargic and having headaches. This morning, 8/6/2013 she vomited again. Obviously because of the timing of us just have sex again and her being sick a few days later I am worried again I may have passed and sti onto her. Is this very unlikely ? We have just been on holiday so it could possibly be food poisoning, but I am worried. I am going to call the 24-hour triage phone line to check with them what I should do. If I have transmitted an std is it likely she will have symptoms in the genital area.
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Avatar universal
Thanks doc, that was the kick up the backside I needed. I think this episode kind of made Swiss cheese of mind. I'll try and put this event behind me.
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239123 tn?1267647614
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum.  But I have to say I'm sorry the confidence you finally gained from a very long discussion on the community forum apparently didn't stick for very long.  A few days ago you said, among other things, "...all the symptoms I had have disappeared", "objectively I think it is very unlikely I have caught anything, including herpes", "I wasted about 2 months of my life scouring the internet checking this out".  In both that thread and in one on the herpes community forum, you warned others to "Be very careful relying on any symptoms you have to convince yourself you have an std..." -- and so on.

At this point, all I can do is say your objective side is exactly right.  There is absolutely no objective evidence you acquired any STD.  Perhaps most important, the UK GUM clinics are, by and large, superb; you can rely with absolute confidence on the evaluation and advice you have received there.

To your specific questions:

1) You did not catch herpes.  As you already have been told (and seemed to understand), the chance of herpes after a single unprotected sexual exposure was very low to start with.  Between the low risk, lack of symptoms that suggest herpes (yours never even came close!), the GUM reassurance, and your negative lab tests, you can take it to the bank.

2) You cannot transmit an infection you do not have.

3) You can already consider yourself in the clear.  Presumably your 90 day test is the one you said was scheduled for May 28, yesterday.  It will be negative.

4) Yes.  If I were in your position, I would never have stopped having sex with my wife.  You had safe sex, for goodness' sake!  That's what condoms are for -- and oral sex is minimal risk for any and all STDs.

I do hope this has helped.  Best wishes--  HHH, MD
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