Thanks for the thanks about the forum. I hope I can help.
I agree it is unlikely you acquired herpes or any other STD from this encounter. As you understand already, whether or not you were at risk from this exposure depends on whether she is infected and, if so, when she caught it. But even if she turns out to have herpes and had it before your exposure, the statistical odds you were infected are low, especially since you haven't had any symptoms. The average risk of herpes transmission, if a partner is infected without symptoms, probably is no more than one chance in several hundred.
You are fortunate that your partner cares about your welfare and told you she is concerned and is being tested. Your attitude in return should be one of gratitude and sympathetic understanding of her own
fearsFears and phobias. Keep in touch about her test results. If there is a positive result for any STD, you should see a health care provider for evaluation.
In the meantime, don't worry too much. And regardless of the outcome, send your partner some flowers or treat her to dinner and a nice bottle of wine. You'll both enjoy and appreciate it.
Best wishes-- HHH, MD
1. She told me that she was with someone three days after me and then told that she was being checked for oral and genital herpes the sysmptons of which appeared 9 days after she was with the second person - (a.) is it normal for someone to have both oral and genital outbreaks simultaneously from exposure? and (b.) she also indicated that she was with someone several months before me, but was not sure if she contracted it from him - if so, stands to reason that she would not have shedding two weeks before an outbreak, meaning she was not really contagious when we were together - correct?
2. The sex was protected. I have read that outbreaks occur at the site of infection, doesn't that mean that I "most likely" wouldn't have an outbreak on my shaft.
I went to a clinic today and they refused to test me since I have no lesions. The theory being that test would just tell them that I was exposed but that it is genital herpes.
Thanks for all your help.
What would you recommend that I do from here - do not want to see my PCP as it is a family member.
1) Too much overthinking. Many exposed partners don't get HSV even when the infected person is shedding virus. If your partner had genital herpes, there is no way to predict the probability that she was or was not shedding virus.
2) It is rare to catch herpes during condom-protected sex.
As to the follow-up comment, there is no such thing as a test that detects "exposure". Positive means infected and negative means not infected, whether or not one has been exposed.
All things considered, it seems unlikely you have HSV-2. If your past partner suspected only that you were exposed, I would not recommend testing at all. However, since she apparently suspects you might have been the source of her infection, it is reasonable to have a blood test for HSV-2 antibodies. Perhaps the clinic only tests lesions for the virus, in which case I agree there is no point. What you need, either from that clinic or another provider, is an HSV antibody test. Otherwise, it's only speculation. Feel free to return and report the result if and when you get tested, but there's not much point until then.