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Sore throat and Oral Sex
Dear Doctors,
I'm new here, and I would appreciate your help. I am a woman who just ended a 5 month affair with a married co-worker who I've known for 8 years (he is 42, I am 34). We extensively discussed our individual sexual health prior to any sexual contactn and actually took an oraquick home test together (both negative). I have been tested for all stds as recent as 2 years ago during my pregnancy (all negative). My husband has tested before and also negative for all. My coworker tells me he tested negative for all stds 3 years ago after a getting back to his wife after a sepration. We only had sex once and we used a condom, as far as I know it didn't break, and he has given me unprotected oral on a few ocassions. Two weeks ago, I gave him brief unprotected oral and swallowed a tiny bit of semen. Exactly 8 days after that, I started getting a moderate sore throat (one white spot), nasal allergies, congestion and phlegm. The sore throat lasted a few days, (I was given a 3 day Zithromax pak) but the congestion is still around. I know its probable I may have caught my toddler's cold (who had it a few days before my own symptoms) since I was taking close care of her, but I cant help but worry if its STD related. Can it be pharyngeal gonorrhea I'm hearing so much about? He told me he tested neg for gonorrhea as well, and hasn't been with anyone except his wife, and he's a pretty honest person. Nevertheless, I decided to end all physical contact with him. I'm scared to have sex with my husband, am I putting him at any risk? Are the oraquick results reliable, or should I re-test again in 3 months? Sorry for the long post, I'm just super scared, ashamed, guilty and don't know what to do. Thanks so much in advance!
I'm new here, and I would appreciate your help. I am a woman who just ended a 5 month affair with a married co-worker who I've known for 8 years (he is 42, I am 34). We extensively discussed our individual sexual health prior to any sexual contactn and actually took an oraquick home test together (both negative). I have been tested for all stds as recent as 2 years ago during my pregnancy (all negative). My husband has tested before and also negative for all. My coworker tells me he tested negative for all stds 3 years ago after a getting back to his wife after a sepration. We only had sex once and we used a condom, as far as I know it didn't break, and he has given me unprotected oral on a few ocassions. Two weeks ago, I gave him brief unprotected oral and swallowed a tiny bit of semen. Exactly 8 days after that, I started getting a moderate sore throat (one white spot), nasal allergies, congestion and phlegm. The sore throat lasted a few days, (I was given a 3 day Zithromax pak) but the congestion is still around. I know its probable I may have caught my toddler's cold (who had it a few days before my own symptoms) since I was taking close care of her, but I cant help but worry if its STD related. Can it be pharyngeal gonorrhea I'm hearing so much about? He told me he tested neg for gonorrhea as well, and hasn't been with anyone except his wife, and he's a pretty honest person. Nevertheless, I decided to end all physical contact with him. I'm scared to have sex with my husband, am I putting him at any risk? Are the oraquick results reliable, or should I re-test again in 3 months? Sorry for the long post, I'm just super scared, ashamed, guilty and don't know what to do. Thanks so much in advance!
I am extremely grateful to you, Doctor, for setting my mind at ease, as well as impressed by the wonderful work you do here! Many thanks!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Thanks for the thanks -- I'm glad to have helped. I was aware of the timing; it doesn't change my opinion or advice.
Look at it this way: every week there must be a few million people in the US who develop sore throats or other cold symptoms, and a few million who perform oral sex on partners, often in non-monogamous settings. Obviously, those two events therefore will occur randomly in many of the same people, perhpas a few thousand -- yet almost none of them will have HIV as the cause. On top of that, you had a sick kid in the house, perhaps the most common of all exposures leading to sore throat.
Look at it this way: every week there must be a few million people in the US who develop sore throats or other cold symptoms, and a few million who perform oral sex on partners, often in non-monogamous settings. Obviously, those two events therefore will occur randomly in many of the same people, perhpas a few thousand -- yet almost none of them will have HIV as the cause. On top of that, you had a sick kid in the house, perhaps the most common of all exposures leading to sore throat.
Thanks for your prompt reply, you have helped me calm down a lot! Only, I wanted to clarify that my symptoms started 8 days after my last exposure. Does that change anything? Once again, thanks so much!
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your confidence in our services.
Your sore throat has nothing to do with your sexual exposures. There are many reasons I'm confident about it. First, it is clear you and your partner are at no significant risk of STD. These infections don't materialize out of the blue -- someone has to catch it from another partner. Second, you've both had negative STD tests, and all the standard tests are highly reliable. Third, sore throat and nasal congestion are among the most common symptoms human beings experience, and as everyone knows, innumerable garden variety viruses, colds, etc are the dominant causes. Fourth, as you say yourself, you have another obvious source of infection (your child). Fifth, oral STDs rarely cause sore throat, and they never cause nasal congestion, stuffiness, etc. (Contrary to statements you can find on line, oral gonorrhea rarely causes sore throat or any other symptoms.) Sixth, persisting symptoms after azithromycin argues against STDs as the cause. Finally, HIV also dosn't cause these symptoms, especially with congestion.
You may have had very good reasons to end this relationship, but I hope your symptoms and fear of STDs wasn't the main reason. I have no way of knowing whether you are sharing your daughter's respiratory virus or another one, but it certainly isn't an STD problem.
For all those reasons, there is no reason you can't safely have sex with your husband.
If you remain nervous, see your doctor or your local public health or Planned Parenthood clinic for STD/HIV testing. I recommend it not because I believe there is any chance of a positive result, only because you may be further reassured by the negative results.
I hope these comments have been helpful. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
Your sore throat has nothing to do with your sexual exposures. There are many reasons I'm confident about it. First, it is clear you and your partner are at no significant risk of STD. These infections don't materialize out of the blue -- someone has to catch it from another partner. Second, you've both had negative STD tests, and all the standard tests are highly reliable. Third, sore throat and nasal congestion are among the most common symptoms human beings experience, and as everyone knows, innumerable garden variety viruses, colds, etc are the dominant causes. Fourth, as you say yourself, you have another obvious source of infection (your child). Fifth, oral STDs rarely cause sore throat, and they never cause nasal congestion, stuffiness, etc. (Contrary to statements you can find on line, oral gonorrhea rarely causes sore throat or any other symptoms.) Sixth, persisting symptoms after azithromycin argues against STDs as the cause. Finally, HIV also dosn't cause these symptoms, especially with congestion.
You may have had very good reasons to end this relationship, but I hope your symptoms and fear of STDs wasn't the main reason. I have no way of knowing whether you are sharing your daughter's respiratory virus or another one, but it certainly isn't an STD problem.
For all those reasons, there is no reason you can't safely have sex with your husband.
If you remain nervous, see your doctor or your local public health or Planned Parenthood clinic for STD/HIV testing. I recommend it not because I believe there is any chance of a positive result, only because you may be further reassured by the negative results.
I hope these comments have been helpful. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
You are reading content posted in the STDs Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
