Sudden extreme hypochondria....please help!

[sheila274]

Back in June I had a sexual encounter that I deeply regret. I didn't give a thought to it until recently when I started working for a health agency and am now paranoid sick with the possibility of HIV exposure.

He and I met as friends for a few weeks and then one day we had protected vaginal sex. Afterwards we showered and then I performed oral sex and he penetrated me for about 6-10 seconds, both without ejaculation. This happened only once and I can't say I know him well enough to know his sexual history. There is no possibility of asking either. I have not had any symptoms of ARS.

I am planning to get tested, but am extremely afraid and even ashamed of both the experience of testing and of finding out the results. For temporary peace of mind can you tell me what risk of exposure I had, if the person was HIV+? I have browsed through this forum, but have not found cases similiar to this.
Thanks.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Relax.  Even if your partner had HIV, the risk you were infected is in the range of 1 to 500 to 1 to 1000.  And he probably wasn't HIV positive.

Your risk was low enough that there really is no need for testing at all, except to the extent the negative result will help aleviate your anxiety and fear.  (See my response to the question in the thread immediately before this one.)  But it clearly will reassure you, therefore you should do it.  Whatever else, don't be afraid to be tested; the result will be negative.  And by all means don't feel ashamed.  Acknowledging that you are sexually active really isn't anything embarrassing in today's world, and probably around half of all Americans have been tested for HIV--so join the crowd.  Go to your local health department clinic or a family planning clinic, if you are uncomfortable seeing your regular health care provider.  You will be treated with respect.

Best wishes--  HHH, MD

[neveragainunprotected]

hi sheila. I am sure you will be okay. I just got negative hiv results this week after waiting for exactly 14 days, I know where you're coming from. it really sux to regret sleeping with someone, especially when u realize it was just a one time thing.
I have been beating myself up for the last few months for having a few casual encounters in the last year. I felt like the biggest piece of **** ever. it's amazing, how we humans get ourselves into these predicaments over sex. it doesnt seem worth all the fear and anxiety that comes after for a few useless moments of pleasure.
so ya. get tested, and get it over with. don't stress yourself out too much, i did, and now I am sick and recovering from a stress related illness because I beat myself up so badly over everything.
you are far from being alone. you are not the first person to do this, and you definitely won't be the last.

[Rich UK]

neveragainunprotected is so right. I've been in a relationship for 20 years (since I was 17) and strayed twice in one off casual encounters this year. I've ripped myself apart over it and maybe it was wrong, maybe I am only human, may be I need to address the things that were happening in my relationship to make me do what I did. One thing is for sure, I and you am not alone - it happens. I got so stressed that I ended up having two weeks off work (I'd only had one day sick in 9 years before). In the end, amongst some excellent advice from this forum, the doc here, the GUM clinic specialist and a councillor I've accepted that I am hiv negative and am dealing with the real issue which was my guilt and shame (justified or not). Personally, I was focussing all my anxiety onto hiv and it was spiralling - its a tough thing to come through. The doc.'s right though, there's an incredible amount of people in the u.k., u.s., and I am sure, just about everywhere, being tested everyday for hiv. You are not alone, don't beat yourself up any more.

[neveragainunprotected]

hey rich. you really had to take time off work? that makes me feel so much better. I got my negative test results last tuesday and have been having pains in my stomache ever since. also could not go to work. it's funny. here you think, I should be happy cuz everything turned out all right, and now I gotta get over this stupid tummy thing.

[sheila274]

Thanks for the moral support! I too am completely committed to my long-term relationship and have no clue what happened that time. To betray someone who trusts and loves me so much has such terrible consequences...besides my current worry of transmitted diseases there's the horrible guilt. I am so not the type of person to do something like this, but you're right, neveragainunprotected, how sex can make us do such irrational things. Really, it is so not worth all the worry and regret that comes afterwards. People sometimes say that if you do it once, you'll do it again, but I think the lesson I've learned through this experience will only keep me in my place.

[pbthompson]

A related discussion, Hypochondria over HIV/Herpes was started.

[prayingforano]

A related discussion, paranoid or what? was started.