I have had some experiences outside of my usual heterosexual practices. I have only participated in protected oral and mutual masturbation. Never any kissing or penetrative sex. I am freaking out because my Fiance has a bald spot and when researching online I found this is secondary syphilis. I have not noticed a sore anywhere in my genital area. I have not had unprotected oral sex. I have not had any sores on my lips. I do have the occasional cold sore, but its always in the same spot and has been for years. I havent noticed sores on my fingers or hands. No Rashes on hands or feet. She has not had any other secondary symptoms except for the bald spot...which is tender only if she presses on it and its a bit peachy in color. She has not had rashes or anything either. I do get Cankers on my tongue and lots of my friends also do as well. I started thinking they were the mucous patches associated with syphilis. I have not and will not ever participate in any sexual behavior again with a man. I was tested for syphilis last december after I had a rash on my hands. The test was negative as well as my HIV test. Please dont tell me to just re[test. Read what I have posted and give me an educated response. This is consuming my life and the guilt is killing me.
"Bald spots" or other abnormal hair loss can indeed be caused by syphilis, but many other causes are far more common; so your fiance's hair problem almost certainly is not syphilis. Many other things, all much more common than syphilis, are much more likely causes of your other symptoms. But I cannot try to guess about other causes.
That is my educated response. I won't tell you to retest, because you can rely 100% on the negative syphilis blood test you have had. You do not have syphilis, period. Follow up with your own health care provider.
I had the same thing happen to my wife. I stepped out with a couple of times last spring with escorts. A couple of months later she developed the small bald spot. I went and was tested for everything because like you, I read that is can be a sign of secondary syphilis. Then I read how rare syphilis among heterosexual. I think in total only about 8000 cases in the whole nation and I tested negative for it. Like you, I nor sh,e has had no signs of syphilis. So the patchy of hair loss is called alopecia areata and it happens to a lot of people from time to time. There is a lot of info on it on line and usually syphylis is never mentioned. They don't know what causes it and there is reallt no cure. The hair usually grows back on it's own after a while. My wifes is pretty much grown back now.
I just dont know. Since syphilis is rare in the straight community is it possible that my bi sexual encounters gave me syphilis? Even though I wore a condom for oral and only had some mutual masturbation. Could I have missed all my secondary symptoms and now shes on hers?...(my fiance)Again, I have not had a sore or rash. Also, does syphilis usually always manifest itself with a rash on hands and feet. I heard that is very very common. I have not had that either.
Basically, I have not had any kind of unprotected intercourse with anyone or even protected for that matter. i only had some protected oral and mutual masturbation. Is this a risk for syphilis...thats what it boils down to..thats what I want to know.
The exposures you describe are very low risk. On the other hand, you are right that men having sex with other men are at much higher risk for syphilis, in general, than strictly heterosexual men and women. But in any case, your negative test rules out syphilis in you.
..Thanks for your reply.This syphilis test was done last dec. I have had recent encounters after that test. Again, they were all protected. And it was only mutual masturbation that wasnt protected. No frottage or body to body contact. Would I have noticed some severe secondary symptopms...by now? That is, if my fiances single bald spot is a secondary symptom..would she have noticed other symptoms as well?...Again...no sores or rash at all. I only have some annoying cankers on the side of my tongue...which I have gotten my whole life....you say very low risk...does this mean I may have screwed myself even if I was totally safe...meaning no anal at all regardless if safe or not...no kissing...no body contact just protected oral and mutual masturbation.
I also read HIV could make a person go bald...could I have got HIV from protected oral sex? Maybe I am being punished for engaging in bisexual activity...I hate that I did cause I wouldnt be worried right now. I have never even touched another mans semen...ever.
You could not have acquired HIV from the exposure you describe. HIV does not cause hair loss. If your symptoms still concern you, see a health care provider; this forum is not a substitute for personal medical care. I cannot help further and will not respond again.
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