Terrified..please advise !!

[mood_blue]

Doc, ... I am a 47 yr old male ..living in the midwest.
In July 05, I met this woman and we had sex (protected vaginal,digital and I gave her oral).
In end November we had sex again (protected vaginal and digital).  4 nights (12/10) ago we had vaginal sex - unprotected momentarily, literally 5-10 seconds and then protected, together with digital - later I noticed a small paper cut on one of the fingers I used. (On each encounter intercourse was 1 time only.)  Next day she told me that I should test and though she was evasive, suggested she was positive.  Between July and now, I have no symptoms to speak of- no fever,malaise,night sweats, no glands, no rashes.
But I am terrified doctor...
1 .. what are my chances of infection?
2.. I want to test ASAP, but can't wait 4-6 weeks is there any other test which will give reliable results earlier?
3.. What about PCR?  At what stage after exposure will that be reliable - cost is not a factor doc.
Please reply ASAP ... please ... just seeing your advise or that of others will help me immensly.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

1) As others have responded, the risk of acquiring HIV from any single episode of unprotected vaginal sex is very low (average something like 1 in 10,000), even if the partner is infected.  In your case, with only 5-10 seconds of unprotected vaginal sex, your risk is even lower, maybe as low as 1 in a million.  And despite your partner's apparent hint, the odds are she does not have HIV.  

2) Even a 3-week antibody test starts to be reassuring.  Some infected people are positive as soon as 10 days.  But you need to wait 6 weeks to be sure.

3) You could get PCR, which tends to be positive before the antibody tests.  But to be honest, I'm not an expert on timing, but I believe PCR tends to become positive at 7-10 days but sometimes takes up to 2-3 weeks; so it's not all that much faster than the antibody tests.  But if/when you find a provider who will do the test, s/he should be able to give you more accurate advice.

In the meantime, chill out a bit.  You really are at extremely low risk.  In fact, if your test is positive, I would suspect you actually caught HIV elsewhere, not during the exposure you describe.

Best wishes--  HHH, MD

[ryn21]

I would say that those particular encounters are probably very low risk, low enough not to even worry about.  But I know for my own sanity I would get tested if a woman I was with turned out to be HIV +.  The anxiety of not knowing for sure is the reason for that, not because transmission is highly possible.  I am also not clear on your "suggesting" that she may have an STD or HIV.  Did she come out and tell you that she did have an STD?  She should be honest about this with you; morally obligated in my opinion.  Like I said, the chance of transmission in your case is probably really close zero.  Remember that the chance of transmission per unprotected sexual encounter (penetrative vaginal sex) is around 1 in 1000.  The odds are highly in your favor.  The good thing is you were smart enough to use condoms.

[thiskilling]

DR. HHH and everyone..pleae reply

hey everyone....like i said....i had unprotected sex with a gal a month ago for a min or so ..thn after tht we did with protection.....and day after i started to feel kinda throat problem...and i had bad mettalic taste..thn week after th encounter i threw up whatever i ate...and could not go to bathroom..and tht lasted for 3 days..but tht happened to everyone...i had lymph nodes above the color bone..lasted for a week..i think it was a lypm node but not sure..thn approx after 2.3 week i had sore throat...my left tonsil was swallen that lasted for 3 days, but sore throat was thr for a week..and now my left ear hurt...i do not know how to chech lymph nodes..can i have lymph nodes on my back or on my triceps..im scared and i kinda get throat ach at night but during the day or when i wake up its not thr...so help..i do not know what to do..and i asked tht grl she said she is clean..but i donnu..if i could trust her...please please help..im really scared..everyone  ...

[Kalio1]

Sounds to me like your risk is very low but I would test anyway for peace of mind. It is against the law to not disclose positive HIV status, if you are positive and knowingly infect others you can be prosecuted. From now on, ASK your partners if they are positive for any STD's, if they don't answer or answer positively, RUN.

[strangeworld]

--thiskilling

Was it vaginal or anal intercourse? Don;t rely on symptoms as they are not a way to decide HIV? Relax. Stress and Anxiety can really make life tough , please do not examine yourself. Get tested if you concerned.

[thiskilling]

it was vaginal

[asiapilot]

You are absolutely worrying about nothing.  My personal experience is if you let the stress build over the next few days false symptoms will occur.  I appreciate your concern but  if you catch anything you better buy a lottery ticket for 25million because you have a better chance at winning the 25mil.
I feel for you because I just went through the same thing 2 days ago. Its on this forum if you care to read.
I wish you good luck but you don't need it.  Peace bro.
P.S.  I am now the world's biggest advocate of safe sex after my scare.

[strangeworld]

Get tested , you have a good chance of not contracting HIV. According to CDC its 5% of 10,000 and according to Dr. HHH its 1 in 1000.. I gut feeling is you will be fine. But get tested for personal staisfaction and you u can move on with your life.

Do you know the girl? Is she HIV positive ?

[thiskilling]

she said she is not...so im takin her word....but man im scared to death...and i got tested at 2.3 weeks after the encounter...so lets hope your gut feeling is right..thanks n e way

[strangeworld]

Buddy... Try not thinking about it.. Try to do something else and get tested at 6 weeks. People who are HIV positive usually say upfront they are HIV positive. It seems ilke she it not. You your odds have increased more. Relax... i think you will be ok. Having gone through this ...my advice to you would be to get involved in your daily routine. Getting scared will put you in lot of trouble... Trust me. Keep us posted when you done with your testing. I am ready to bet that you will be HIV negative. Are you ready ??? :-)

Relax. Man

[thiskilling]

hey strangeworld...i just got tested again at 4.5 weeks mark...and it came out negative again...so lets hope at 6 week it would come out negative again..but whats up with 3 months...i mean why are all the people saying 3 months? and over here people are saying get tested after 6 week which is good enuff too.??...but i hope u win the bet again...thanks

[strangeworld]

Most of the people who are infected with HIV will test positive by 4 to 6 weeks. The logic behind this is.. Most people get ARS betweek 2 to 3 weeks and some 5 weeks.. So by 5 weeks most people develop anitbodies between 4 to 6 weeks and if you get tested at 4.5 week then you odds are in your favour, and by 6th week you will be conclusive, however CDC wants us to wait for 3 months because almost all will develop antibodies by 90days. ( this is just be on the Safest Side) but the new doctors who are current in this HIV/STD research including Dr. HHH suggest to get tested by 6th week to be conclusive.

One more think to remember ...Sometimes Risk will determine if you need to get re-tested first @ 6 weeks and then @ 12 weeks and later at 6 months. ( Unprotected Anal intercourse with a known HIV psotive person).

Hope this helps to ease your stress. But again your odds extremely in your favour.
1). She is not HIV psotive (unknown statuc)
2).  The duration for your vaginal sex was only 2 minutes ( i assume )
3). You tested at 4.5 weeks negative.

Again buddy... I have this strong believe that are you negative and negative.

test at 6 weeks and lets celebrate :-)

Take Care

[thiskilling]

thanks..well about duration. not even 2 mins..probably a minute cuz i got freaked out........well thanks again

[strangeworld]

well then having unprotected vaginal for a minutes will further increase your chances of getting HIV negative results.. I understand that you are worried about getting HIV... apart from this do you also have guilt about doing this?? because that can also put lot of stress on your body.. Try to forgive yourself... Man we all make mistakes because we are humans... let go your guilt and fear. I can;t assure you 100% but based on what you told me ...i am ALMOST 100% sure you will be negative. I will wait for your 6 week negative results on this forum. :-)

Let go your fear .. and please don;t stress out or get anxious about things which you cannot control.

:-)

[ryn21]

Strangeworld is right.  Your situation was low risk anyway.  I had the same situation happen to me, i freaked out.  I ended up testing negative; the month of my worrying was unnecessary and ended up ruining the end of my summer.  Seroconversion usually takes place within 25-28 days according to the CDC.  Therefore making tests after 3-4 weeks fairly accurate and 6 weeks virtually conclusive.  Based on your 4.5 week negative, im almost positive you will be ok.  I wouldnt worry too much, the odds are highly in your favor.  Try and hang in there till the 6 week mark.  I know you will turn out to be OK.

[thiskilling]

hey!..thanks for ur advice...this grl i had the encounter..she got tested too and she got her results today..and she told me she is negative..she got tested for everything......so do you all think im negative..should i be still worryin..and if not thn wat abt the lymph nodes tht i had and the sore throat....but thanks guys

[ryn21]

She tested negative so you can relax.  Lymph node swelling is caused by things other than and more common than HIV.  Your sore throat was more likely related to a common cold or a similar condition.  You can relax now.

[Confused_again]

What is digital sex?

[idiotparty]

Can i just ask a question...i posted a while back after a single night of stupidity (protected sex unprotected oral - both ways) i have been infected with herpes (genital) for over a year and recently i tested for ghon and chlam (both negative now) but the std clinic say i cannot be tested before 3 months they cant guarantee after 6 weeks? so now i have to wait i a completely stressed out state (cant think straight, sick worrying etc) so can we clarify this 6 weeks 9 weeks 3 months things because i just don't understand why the std clinic here suggest different?......and i have read your comments doc about 1 in a million 1 in 1000 etc are those really really true FACTS? i'm living on those right now to help me through this.....single episode of protected sex, unprotected oral = (1 in 1000 or 1 in 100000?? what about herpes infection too? does that drop the chances? what if we kissed full on etc? what if a condom ripped during sex (which im 99% it didnt)
I have read all the topics posted on this forum and i thank everyne for their contributions, but im also seeing different statistics on other sites. Support during my testing here was awful...they really didn't have any consideration about what i was going through....

thankyou for all your help - plodding on until 3 months!

[Confused_again]

The doctor will probably not respond..You will need to start a new thread..But he won't add much anyways...He said before that the chances of getting HIV from Oral is very very minimal..almost zero...Having Herpes doubles your risk, but doubling whats nearly zero is still nearly zero..Don't stress yourself, you're fine.

[morestup]

The answer from the doc is clear, as far as oral sex is concerned..........6 weeks is conclusive.

but i think its best to do 9 weeks and then a final at 13 weeks.

I am sure you are negative.

enjoy the holidays and forget the HIV altogether ;)

see my questions and answers in my other threads.  the doc hates it when he has to reconfirm and reassure.