Very Anxious about HIV Symptoms

[worriedteen05]

I'm a 19 yr. old, bisexual male (but still a virgin as far as anal/vaginal is concerned). About 4 months ago a guy performed oral sex on me and we deep kissed. I made the guy stop because my penis was hitting the back of his throat and it started to hurt. 2 or 3 weeks after the incident I tested positive for gonnorea and was treated with a shot. My doctor scared me by saying to get tested for HIV even though I told him I'd only had oral sex performed on me. I did a home access test about 5 1/2 weeks after the incident which was negative. The day after I received the results I started experiancing constant pressure in my head and feelings like I was about to faint (I'd also experianced this when I had gonnorea). These lasted for about 10 days (I also had a couple days of diarreah), my doctor said I was probably having tension headaches with anxiety attacks. He once again scared me by saying I had to be tested after 3 months to be sure I didn't have HIV. Worried, I recently called the guy that had infected me with the STD and asked the last time he was tested for HIV, he said he'd been tested twice since he'd seen me and was negative. When someone is co-infected with HIV and an STD like gonnorea does HIV usually show up around the same time?

Also, 10 days ago I went to a bar and ending up bringing a guy home with me (I was intoxicated). We deep kissed for a while and just slept together (no sex) in our underwear. In the morning we ended up rubbing against each other with our underwear on and he said he had pre-*** in his, as did I. Being the anxious person I am I started worrying that his semen could have passed through the underwear, I think my penis was exposed a couple times through the opening in my boxers but he was wearing briefs. I also started fabricating the idea he might have taken advantage of me while I was drunk but I'm basically positive we didn't have intercourse, since I'm a virgin wouldn't I know in the morning if someone had anal sex with me (ie. pain?) What has me worried is the fact I developed somewhat of a sore throat less than 48 hours after the incident, not a typical sore throat though, just the top-back part of my mouth (soft pallette) which for some reason feels better when I eat (it isn't hard to swallow). I've had it for about a week and it's now starting to go away, I haven't had any other symptoms like fever or sneezing (I just felt tired for a few days). The glands right under my jawline seem to be a little swollen but not apparent when i look in the mirror. I apologize for sounding like a hypochondriac but ever since my STD ordeal I'm terrified that I have HIV and basically plan to never have anal/vaginal intercourse and will now be using condoms during oral. I just bought 2 more home access tests but I know I'm going to be full of anxiety for the next 3 months. I wish I could get it off my mind but I can't even watch TV without seeing PSA's telling people to get tested.

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

The second exposure--potential skin exposure to genital secretions (pre-ejaculate fluid or semen)--is not a risk at all.  The exposure that gave you gonorrhea in theory could have transmitted HIV, but with extremely low likelihood; to my knowledge, there has never been a well-documented case of HIV acquisition by being the intersertive partner in fellatio.  In any case, the large majority of infected persons would have had a positive result by Home Access by 5 1/2 weeks.  So you can take a lot of assurance from the negative test.  Further, your partner probably isn't lying; most likely he isn't infected with HIV.  Finally, the various symptoms you describe don't sound much like HIV; a garden-variety respiratory infection is a much morelikely cause of your sore palate and throa than HIV. Technically, your doctor is right; a 3-month test will be definitive.  But you can be confident it will be negative.

So to be safe, follow your doctor's advice and be tested at 3 months.  But don't worry about it in the meantime.  And take an important lesson from all this:  You should ask your partner's HIV status, ALWAYS; even if you plan oral sex or no sex at all, you have seen first hand how a resolve to be safe can disappear in a puff of smoke when you get turned on, have been drinking, etc.  No gay man should ever put himself in a position of possible risk without knowing and disclosing his own HIV status and demanding the same from his potential partner; otherwise it's sayonara, buddy.  If you'll follow that rule, and also use condoms consistently if and when you decide to participate in anal sex, you'll probably stay HIV negative forever.  If you don't follow it, the odds are good you will be infected someday.

Good luck--  HHH, MD

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

JohnnyV is a wise man.  Follow his advice.

HHH, MD

[JohnnyV]

Hi,

Being 35, a bi male, and knowing what you're going thru, I couldn't help but respond to your thread. I'm sure Dr. H will answer your questions, but here are a few suggestions about navigating male-male sex:

-Avoiding all anal sex is practical, because condoms fail often. You can have thigh sex, where one guy inserts his penis into the pressed thighs of the other.
-take the alarmist advice you've heard with a grain of salt. Lots of doctors and prevention counselors love to make gay or bi men paranoid and nervous; sometimes there's a hidden moral agenda that you don't know about. Dr. H and Dr. K (another site) are extremely reliable because they try to avoid moralizing.
-I'm 16 years older than you, but i have managed to avoid having sex while drunk or high. Don't assume that going home drunk with guys you barely know is the norm in gay life.

J